“Finding your “ikigai”: spirituality and family values as the basis of longevity. Spirituality and health Spiritual and moral health of the family
The radical changes taking place in the life of our society require a comprehensive understanding. Long-term alienation of a person from a true spiritual culture, national roots and traditions, from faith, led to a crisis of public consciousness, expressed in an extremely unfavorable social atmosphere: an increase in crime (including children's), violence, and open propaganda of licentiousness. A particularly difficult situation has developed in the adolescent and youth sphere.
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Advice for parents.
Spiritual and moral health of the family.
The radical changes taking place in the life of our society require a comprehensive understanding. Long-term alienation of a person from a true spiritual culture, national roots and traditions, from faith, led to a crisis of public consciousness, expressed in an extremely unfavorable social atmosphere: an increase in crime (including children's), violence, and open propaganda of licentiousness. A particularly difficult situation has developed in the adolescent and youth sphere.
The family begins with marriage, but marriage, in the Christian tradition, “is a sacrament,” in which, with the free promise of true love, the marriage of the bride and groom is consecrated for the pure birth and upbringing of children and for mutual assistance in salvation.
According to St. John Chrysostom, marriage has become for Christians a "sacrament of love" in which spouses, their children, and the Lord Himself participate. The fulfillment of this mysterious union of love is possible only in the spirit of the Christian faith, in the feat of voluntary and sacrificial service to each other.
Marriage is a unique union of two beings in love, two beings who can transcend their own human nature and be united not only with each other, but in Christ.
“The purpose of marriage is to bring joy. It is understood that married life is the happiest, fullest, purest, richest life. The duty of the family is selfless love. Everyone should forget his "I", devoting himself to another" - so said the Empress Empress Alexandra Feodorovna.
The concept of "family" has not only a moral, but also a spiritual nature is confirmed by religious-philosophical and theological studies.
In the Orthodox tradition, family life is understood as "the path to Salvation", an ascent along which is associated with the bearing of the "cross", everyday duties, mutual concerns, cooperation, understanding and harmony.
In marriage, a person is transformed, overcoming loneliness and isolation, expanding, replenishing and completing his personality. The spiritual growth of a husband and wife in marriage is helped by conjugal love, which spreads to children and warms everyone around.
It is a great thing to take responsibility for these tender young lives that can enrich the world with beauty, joy, strength, but which can also easily perish; a great thing is to nurture them, shape their character, spiritually improving yourself - that's what you can think about when you arrange your home, create a family. And as the last Russian Empress Alexandra Feodorovna said: "This should be a house in which children will grow up for truth and a noble life, for God."
Today they are talking about an ideological crisis, that a generation is growing up sluggish and unprincipled. There will come a time when the irresponsibility of parents will grow from generation to generation. Then an abyss grows between parents and children, the father and mother cease to understand their children, and the children begin to complain about absolute alienation, and many years later the children will reproduce this same alienation in their families.
The basis of the family is the marriage union. It is an agreement between a man and a woman, according to which they take upon themselves the obligation to live together as husband and wife, mutually helping each other and fulfilling each other's spiritual and moral needs. In the Christian tradition, marriage "is a sacrament in which, with the free promise of true love, the marital union of the bride and groom is consecrated for the pure birth and upbringing of children and for mutual assistance in salvation."
The creation of a family, marriage, the motives, reasons and moods with which a man and a woman create a family can have a significant impact on future offspring.
For Christians, the conclusion of a marriage union takes place only in the Church, and only in the Church does it become a "sacrament of grace" - an image of the spiritual union of Christ with those who are married. Through this union, the family is created as a "house church".
Young spouses, burning with passion, are convinced that this passion is love, it is she who is the core and main support of the family. But sooner or later, the violent passion subsides, and if the spouses do not develop deep spiritual ties, disappointment in family life sets in. It is very important for both to be restrained, polite, compliant, to be able to turn a blind eye to each other's minor weaknesses, to forgive them for the sake of the main thing - peace and tranquility in the family. Then all is well and everyone is happy. And in a happy family, the children are happy.
The family is called upon to support and pass on from generation to generation a certain spiritual religious tradition. Spiritually awakening a child is the primary task of parenting.
The special role of the family lies in the performance of the original function - the spiritual and moral education of children. Children are perceived not as an accidental acquisition, but as a gift from God, which parents are called to cherish and “multiply”, helping to reveal all the forces and talents of the child, leading him to a virtuous Christian life.
In the upbringing of children, the family cannot be replaced by any other social institution; it has an exceptional role in promoting the formation of a child's personality. In family communication, a person learns to overcome his sinful egoism, in the family he learns "what is good and what is bad."
In communication with loved ones, adults, the child develops actually human forms of behavior: skills of thinking and speech, orientation and activity in the world of objects and human relations, moral qualities, life values, aspirations, ideals.
For each of its members, the family is a school of love as a constant readiness to give oneself to others, to take care of them, to protect them. On the basis of the mutual love of spouses, parental love is born, the reciprocal love of children for parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. Joy and sorrow in a spiritually healthy family become common: all the events of family life unite, strengthen and deepen the feeling of mutual love.
Only the family can be the sources of spiritual love and spiritual faith of a person in the upbringing of a family man. From time immemorial, the upbringing of a good disposition of a child, the development of his ability for a virtuous life, was determined by the way of life of the mother and father, by the extent to which the parents themselves could set a good example for him. Without an example and guidance in goodness, a child loses the ability to form as a person.
Hence, the personal example of parents is one of the strongest means of educational influence on the child. In order to be an example for your children, and parents want this, you yourself must live spiritually richly and beautifully. The atmosphere of love and friendship in the family is created by common spiritual interests, joint work and entertainment, intimate conversations.
It is not necessary to prove a simple truth in order for children to receive a good upbringing, to educate themselves and, above all, to improve spiritually, the parents themselves must.
This is evidenced in proverbs by the wisdom of the Orthodox Russian people: “A righteous mother is a stone fence”, “A father teaches his son not badly” and many other examples ...
It is vain to think that spirituality is accessible only to educated people, people of high culture. The history of all times and peoples shows that it is precisely the educated strata of society, being carried away by the play of consciousness and the abstractions of the mind, that it is much easier to lose that immediate power of trust in the testimony of inner experience, which is necessary for spiritual life. The mind, having broken with the depth of feeling and with the artistic power of the imagination, gets used to dousing everything with the poison of the idle, destroying doubts, and therefore we find ourselves in relation to spiritual culture not as a constructor, but as a destroyer. On the contrary, in naive-spontaneous people this destructive force does not yet begin to act. A person of low “culture” is much more capable of listening to the testimony of inner experience, i.e. first of all, the heart, conscience, sense of justice than a person, even if greater, but rationalistic culture. A simple soul is naive and trusting; maybe because she is gullible and superstitious, and believes where it is not necessary, but on the other hand, the very gift of faith is not taken away from her, and therefore she is able to believe where necessary.
Let this spirituality - uncritical, unintelligent, undifferentiated, be drawn to myth and magic, let it be associated with fear and can get lost in witchcraft. But this spirituality is undeniable and genuine - both in the ability to heed the breath and call of God, and in compassionate love, and in patriotic sacrificial love, and in a conscientious act, and in a sense of justice, and in the ability to enjoy the beauty of nature and art, and in manifestations dignity, sense of justice and delicacy. And in vain would an educated city dweller imagine that all this is inaccessible to the "uneducated peasant"!.. In a word, spiritual love is accessible to all people, regardless of their level of culture. And wherever it is found, it is the true source of strength and beauty of family life.
In fact, a person is called to see and love in a beloved woman (or, accordingly, in a beloved man) not only the carnal beginning, not only a bodily phenomenon, but also the “soul” - the originality of the personality, the peculiarity of his character, the depth of the heart, for which the external composition of man is only a bodily expression or a living organ. Love is only then a simple and short-term lust, a fickle and petty whim of the flesh, when a person, desiring a mortal and final, loves hidden behind him immortality and infinity; sighing about the carnal and earthly, rejoices in the spiritual and eternal; in other words, when he puts his love before the face of God and illuminates and measures the loved one with God's rays... And this is the deep meaning of the Christian "wedding", uniting spouses with a crown of joy and torment, a crown of spiritual joy and moral honor, a crown of life and indissoluble spiritual community. For lust can quickly pass, it can be blind. And the anticipated pleasure can deceive or annoy. And then what? Mutual disgust of people attached to each other?.. The fate of a man who, in blindness, bound himself, and, having regained his sight, cursed his bondage? Lifelong humiliation of lies and hypocrisy? Or a divorce? The strength of the family requires otherwise; people should desire not only the comforts of love, but also responsible joint creativity, spiritual community in life, in suffering and in carrying burdens, according to the ancient Roman marriage formula: “where you are, Kai, there I am, your Kaya” ...
What must arise from marriage is, first of all, a new spiritual unity and unity - the unity of husband and wife: they must understand each other and share the joys and sorrows of life; to do this, they must equally perceive life, the world, and people. What is important here is not spiritual similarity, and not the sameness of characters and temperaments, but homogeneity of spiritual assessments which alone can create unity and commonality life goals for both. What matters is what you worship? what are you praying for? what do you like? What do you want for yourself in life and death? than and in the name what are you able to donate? And so the bride and groom must find this like-mindedness and unity in each other, unite in what is most important in life and what is worth living for ... For only then will they be able, as husband and wife, to perceive each other correctly all their lives, trust each other and believe in each other. This is what is precious in marriage: complete mutual trust before the Face of God, and with this is connected both mutual respect and the ability to form a new, vitally strong spiritual cell. Only such a cell can solve the main task of marriage and the family - to carry out the spiritual education of children.
Raising a child means laying in him the foundations of a spiritual nature and bring it to the ability of self-education. The parents who accepted this task and solved it creatively gave their people and their homeland a new spiritual hearth; they fulfilled their spiritual calling, justified their mutual love and strengthened and enriched the life of their people on earth: they themselves entered that Motherland, which is worth living and being proud of, for which it is worth fighting and dying.
So, there is no surer basis for a worthy and happy family life than the mutual spiritual love of a husband and wife: love in which the beginnings of passion and friendship merge together, reborn into something higher - into the fire of all-round unity. Such love will not only accept pleasure and joy, and will not degenerate, will not fade away, will not become hardened by them, but will also accept any suffering and any misfortune in order to comprehend them, sanctify them and be cleansed through them. And only such love can give a person that stock of mutual understanding, mutual condescension to weaknesses and mutual forgiveness, patience, tolerance, devotion and fidelity, which is necessary for a happy marriage.
Therefore, it can be said that a happy marriage arises not just from a mutual natural inclination (“for a good darling”), but from the spiritual affinity of people (“for a good darling”), which causes an unshakable will to become a living unity and observe this unity in whatever way. no matter what, keep it not only for show to people, but in fact, before the Face of God. This is the deepest meaning of the religious consecration of marriage and the corresponding church ceremony. But this is also the first essential condition for the faithful, spiritual upbringing of children.
I have already pointed out that the child enters the family of his parents, as it were, in the prehistoric era of his personality and begins to breathe the air of this family from his first physical breath. And in the stuffy air of a disagreeable, unfaithful, unhappy family, in the vulgar atmosphere of a soulless, godless vegetative existence, a healthy child's soul cannot grow. A child can acquire intuition and taste only from a spiritually meaningful family hearth; he can organically feel nationwide unity and unity only by experiencing this unity in his family, and not feeling this nationwide unity, he will not become a living body of his people and a faithful son of his homeland. Only the spiritual flame of a healthy family hearth can give the human heart a glowing coal of spirituality, which will both warm it and shine on it throughout its entire future life.
1. So the family has a calling to give the child the most important and essential thing in his life. Blessed Augustine once said that "the human soul is a Christian by nature." This word is especially true when applied to the family. For in marriage and in the family man learning from nature to love, from love and from love to suffer, endure and sacrifice, forget about himself and serve those who are closest to him and dearest of all. All this is nothing but Christian love. Therefore, the family turns out to be, as it were, a natural school of Christian love, a school of creative self-sacrifice, social feelings, and an altruistic way of thinking. In a healthy family life, the soul of a person from early childhood is curbed, softened, accustomed to treat others with respectful and loving attention. In this softened, loving mood, she first attaches herself to a close, domestic circle so that later life will lead her in this very inner “setting” to wide circles of society and the people.
2. Further, the family is called upon to perceive, support and pass on from generation to generation a certain spiritual and religious, national and domestic tradition. From this family tradition and thanks to it, our entire Indo-European and Christian culture arose - the culture of the sacred hearth of the family: with its reverent veneration of ancestors, with its idea of \u200b\u200ba sacred boundary enclosing family graves; with its historically formed national customs and outfits. This family created and endured the culture of national feeling and patriotic fidelity. And the very idea of “motherland” — the bosom of my birth, and “fatherland”, the earthly nest of my fathers and ancestors — arose from the depths of the family as a bodily and spiritual unity. The family is for the child the first native place on earth; first - a place-dwelling, a source of warmth and nutrition, then - a place of conscious love and spiritual understanding. The family is for the child the first understanding of “we”, which arose from love and voluntary service, where one stands for all and all for one. For him, she is the bosom of natural solidarity, where mutual love turns duty into joy and keeps the sacred gates of conscience always open. It is for him a school of mutual trust and joint, organized action. Is it not clear that a true citizen and son of his homeland is brought up in a healthy family?
3. Further, the child learns in the family the correct perception of authority. In the face of natural authority father and mother, he meets for the first time with idea of rank and learns to perceive the highest rank of another person, bowing, but not humiliating, and learns to put up with the lowest rank inherent in him, without falling into either envy, or hatred, or anger. He learns to extract from the beginning of rank and from the beginning of authority all their creative and organizational power, at the same time freeing himself spiritually from their possible "oppression" through love and respect. For only the free recognition of someone else's higher rank teaches one to endure one's lower rank without humiliation, and only a beloved and respected authority does not oppress a person's soul.
In a healthy Christian family there is one and only father and one and only mother, who together represent a single ruling and organizing authority in family life, in this natural and primitive form of authoritative power, the child is for the first time convinced that power saturated with love is grace. by force and that order in public life presupposes the presence of such a single, organizing and commanding power: he learns that the principle of patriarchal autocracy contains something expedient and healing; and, finally, he begins to understand that the authority of a spiritually older person is not at all called upon to suppress or enslave a subordinate, neglect his inner freedom and break his character, but that, on the contrary, he is called to educate a person to inner freedom.
So, the family is the first, natural school of freedom: in it, the child must, for the first, but not the last time in his life, find the right path to inner freedom; to accept out of love and respect for the parents all their orders and prohibitions in all their seeming severity, make it a duty to observe them, voluntarily obey them and allow their own views and convictions to ripen freely and calmly in the depths of the soul. Thanks to this, the family becomes, as it were, elementary school for education of a free and healthy legal consciousness.
4. As long as the family will exist (and it will exist, like everything natural, forever), it will be a school a healthy sense of private property. It is not difficult to see why this is the case.
The family is a social unity given by nature—in life, in love, in earnings, and in property. The stronger, the more cohesive the family, the more justified are its claims to what its parents and parents of their parents creatively created and acquired.
This is a claim to their economic materialized labor, always associated with deprivation, suffering, with a strain of mind, will and imagination; a claim to inherited property, to family-acquired private property, which is a real source of not only family, but also popular satisfaction.
A healthy family has always been and always will be an organic unity - by blood, by spirit and by property. And this common property is a living sign of blood and spiritual unity, for this property, in the form in which it is, arose precisely from this blood and spiritual unity and on the path of labor, discipline and sacrifice. That is why a healthy family teaches a child a whole range of precious skills at once.
The child learns to make his own way in life with the help of his own initiative and at the same time highly appreciate and observe the principle of social mutual assistance; for the family, as a whole, organizes its life precisely on a private, own initiative - it is an independent creative unity, and within its own limits, the family is the real embodiment of mutual assistance and so-called "sociality". The child gradually learns to be a "private" person, an independent individuality, and at the same time to appreciate and cherish the bosom of family love and family solidarity; he learns independence and loyalty- these two main manifestations of a spiritual character. He learns to deal creatively with property, to develop, create and acquire economic benefits and at the same time to subordinate the principles of private property (in this case to some higher, social - family) expediency ... And this is the very skill, or, rather, , art, outside of which the social question of our era cannot be resolved.
It goes without saying that only a healthy family can correctly solve all these problems. A family devoid of love and spirituality, where parents do not have authority in the eyes of children, where there is no unity either in life or work, where there is no hereditary tradition, can give the child very little or can give him nothing. Of course, even in a healthy family, mistakes can be made, “gaps” can be formed in one way or another, which can lead to a general or partial failure.
There is no ideal on earth ... However, we can say with confidence that parents who managed to introduce their children to spiritual experience and call in them the process of internal self-liberation, will always be blessed in the hearts of children... For from these two foundations grow both personal character and the lasting happiness of a person - public well-being.
Kaydalova Svetlana Viktorovna
geography teacher, MOU "Otradnenskaya OOSh",
Russia, Belgorod region Belgorodsky district
Email: [email protected]
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The article reveals the importance of the influence of the family on the emotional state, on the spiritual health of the child, offers advice that can be used not only by parents, but also by teachers.
Keywords: family, spiritual health, " good man", morality.
“All the best that connects me with the outside world is connected with my family,” Wilhelm Humboldt, the founder of the University of Berlin, wrote in his memoirs. Perhaps, any person can agree with these lines. The family is the first instance on the way of the child to life. The family perceives and transmits cultural and moral values to its pupils. Parents constitute the first social environment of the child. They are models that the child focuses on daily. Parents play a significant role in the life of every person. The family forms the personality of the child, defining for him moral norms, values and standards of behavior.
A home for a child is like a ticket to life. Justice, love, sympathy, mutual understanding, tolerance should reign in the house not only for children, but also for all other family members. The upbringing and development of these qualities in a child requires support from parents - not only in words, but also by their example. Parents should set an example for their children by their actions. They must explain to their child "what is good and what is bad", they must raise a kind person.
The concept of a "good person" is very complex. It includes a variety of qualities that have long been valued by people. A good person can be called a person who has developed love for the Motherland, people living nearby, for the elderly, an active desire to do good, the ability to self-denial for the sake of others, honesty, conscientiousness, a correct understanding of the meaning of life and happiness, a sense of duty, justice, diligence. These are all concepts of morality.
The moral needs of a person are closely connected with moral feelings, which are also the motives of human behavior. This is compassion, sympathy, empathy, disinterestedness ...
Cultivate developed moral needs - main task parents. The task is quite doable. What is needed for its successful solution?
First, parents should be aware of the importance of the moral education of children in the family.
Secondly, parents should develop moral needs in themselves.
Thirdly, parents who want to raise their child not spontaneously, but consciously, in order to raise their child, they must analyze themselves, their actions.
If love and mutual understanding reign in the family not only in relation to children, but in the relationship of parents, if everything is done together in the family: they work, spend their free time together, are ready to help each other in different situations, then children will always learn to lead yourself like that. Joy and sorrow in a spiritually healthy family become common: all the events of family life unite, strengthen and deepen the feeling of mutual love. In such a family, there will be fewer diseases, because well-being affects the health of all family members.
Watching children from families where parents are in alcohol addiction, we began to notice periodic changes in their behavior. When parents do not take alcohol, spend more time with children, are interested in their life, then children at school behave calmly, do their homework, and do not be rude to teachers and peers. But as soon as parents start drinking again, children become aggressive, may not attend classes, spend more time on the street, often wandering aimlessly. This example once again proves that family relations, the behavior of parents leaves its mark on the child, on his behavior, health.
The Constitution of the World Health Organization defines health: “Health is a state of complete spiritual, physical and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity”
Spiritual health is the ability to cognize the surrounding world and oneself, analyze ongoing events and phenomena, predict the development of situations that affect life, form a model (program) of behavior aimed at solving emerging problems, protecting one’s interests, life and health in real life. environment. The higher the intellect, the more reliable the forecast of events, the more accurate the model of behavior, the more stable the psyche, the higher the level of spiritual health.
This health is achieved by the ability to live in harmony with oneself, with relatives, friends and society, to predict and model events, to draw up a program of one's actions on this basis.
Only a moral and spiritually healthy person can really assess the current situation, make the right choice, not dramatize failures, live in harmony with himself and other people and manage his emotions, be able to enjoy the success of other people.
For a child, parents are role models. Children should see how we, parents, in practice show love, sympathy, attention, tolerance for our neighbor, how we can act in different life situations. We are all adults and each of us raises our children in our own way. Everyone has their own unspoken rules, someone uses the advice of loved ones, friends, but we all need to remember if:
the child is constantly criticized, he learns to hate;
the child is ridiculed, he becomes withdrawn;
the child is supported, he learns to value himself;
the child grows up in reproach, he learns to live with guilt;
the child grows in tolerance, he learns to understand others;
the child grows in honesty, he learns to be fair;
the child grows up in safety, he learns to believe in people;
the child lives in enmity, he learns to be aggressive;
the child lives in understanding and friendliness, he learns to find love in this world.
The ability to enjoy life and the ability to courageously endure difficulties a person receives in early childhood. Children are sensitive and receptive to everything that surrounds them, and they need to achieve a lot. To become kind to people, one must learn to understand others, show sympathy, honestly admit one's mistakes, be hardworking, marvel at the beauty of the surrounding nature, and treat it with care. Of course, it is difficult to enumerate all the moral qualities of a person in the future society, but the main thing is that these qualities should be laid down in the family.
Bibliography
Derekleeva N.I. Parent meetings for grades 1-11. - M.: Verbum-M, 2003. - 80 p.
Parent meetings: Grade 5 / Avt. O.V. Dukin. - M.: VAKO, 2008. - 256 p.
Ministry of Science and Education of Ukraine
Luhansk College of Life, Economics and Law
abstract
On the topic: "Sim "I'm that healthy"
Vikonala:
Bezsmertna A.I.
Reviewing the bills
Pustovoitova O.V.
Lugansk, 2010
Plan
Introduction
1. Definition of the concept of family
1.1 Influence family relations on human health
2. Stages of personality formation
2.1 Parenting tactics
Conclusion
Introduction
A family- organized social group, whose members may be connected by marriage or kinship (as well as relations to take children for upbringing), common life, mutual moral responsibility and social necessity, which is due to the need of society for the physical and spiritual reproduction of the population.
The family belongs to the most important social values. Each member of society, in addition to social status, ethnicity, property and financial status, from the moment of birth until the end of life, has such a characteristic as family and marital status.
For a child, a family is an environment in which the conditions for his physical, mental, emotional and intellectual development are formed.
For an adult, the family is a source of satisfaction for a number of his needs and a small team that makes various and rather complex demands on him. At the stages of a person's life cycle, his functions and status in the family consistently change.
From the standpoint of population reproduction, a very important criterion for constructing a demographic typology of families is the stage of the family's life cycle. The family cycle is determined by the following stages of parenthood:
pre-parenthood - the period from marriage to the birth of the first child
reproductive parenthood - the period between the births of the first and last children
socialization parenthood - the period from the birth of the first child to the separation from the family (most often through marriage) of the last child (in the case of one child in the family, it coincides with the previous stage)
ancestry - the period from the birth of the first grandchild to the death of one of the grandparents
1. Definition of the concept of family
A family is a union of persons based on marriage or kinship, characterized by common life, interests, mutual care, help and moral responsibility.
The modern family performs a number of functions, the main of which are:
1. Household - consisting in meeting the material needs of family members (for food, shelter, etc.), in maintaining their health. In the course of the fulfillment of this function by the family, the restoration of the physical forces expended in labor is ensured.
2. Sexual-erotic - ensuring the satisfaction of the physiological needs of the spouses.
3. Reproductive - ensuring the birth of children, new members of society.
4. Educational - consisting in meeting individual needs in paternity and motherhood; in contact with children and their upbringing; that parents can "realize themselves" in children.
5. Emotional - consisting in meeting the needs for respect, recognition, mutual support, psychological protection. This function provides emotional stabilization of members of society, helps to maintain their mental health.
6. Spiritual communication - consisting in mutual spiritual enrichment.
7. Primary social control - ensuring the implementation of social norms by family members, especially those who, due to various circumstances (age, illness, etc.), do not have the ability to independently build their behavior in full accordance with social norms.
1.1 The impact of family relationships on human health
Over time, changes occur in the functions of the family: some are lost, others appear in accordance with new social conditions. The function of primary social control has changed qualitatively: it no longer lies in the power of the father of the family over the lower family members, but in the motivation for work and achievements that the family generates. The level of tolerance for violations of the norms of behavior in the field of marriage and family relations (the birth of illegitimate children, adultery, etc.) has increased. Divorce was no longer seen as a punishment for misbehavior in the family.
Family relationships are of great importance for people's health. A favorable moral and psychological climate of the family has a positive effect on the health of its members. Statistics show that in such families people get sick less and live longer. According to some sources, the incidence of tuberculosis, liver cirrhosis and diabetes among members of such families is several times lower than in dysfunctional families and among singles.
At the same time, in a family where one of its members is prone to drug addiction and alcoholism, difficult living conditions are created, especially for children. The situation in the family seriously injures their psyche and often causes various disorders.
A person becomes a person in a society of other people. Forming as a person, a person goes through the process of socialization, which allows him to assimilate the ideology and morality, moral values and norms of behavior in the society in which he lives. The process of socialization continues almost all life, but it is especially intense in children, adolescents and young men. The main institutions of socialization are the family and the school, and relatives, educators, teachers, peers, surrounding adults act as concrete carriers of the assimilated norms and rules. Subsequent professional activity also has a socializing effect on a person, which means that the process of personality formation never stops.
2. Stages of personality formation
In childhood and adolescence, the foundations of a healthy lifestyle, a harmonious system of relations with the outside world are laid. Many of our problems, difficulties and illnesses are related to the peculiarities of upbringing and human development. Therefore, preventive psychohygienic recommendations and measures are most productive if they are implemented from early childhood, and not in adulthood, as is often the case.
There are the following age stages of personality formation: early childhood (up to 3 years old), preschool (3-6 years old), junior school age (6-11 years old), middle school age (11-15 years old), senior school age (15-17 years old).
In early childhood, personality development takes place in the family. At this stage, the child learns the simplest skills and abilities, masters the language as a means of communication, singles out his “I” from the world around him and opposes himself to others, learns to control his behavior, reckon with others, obey the requirements of adults. The importance of this period of development of the child lies in the fact that he learns the type of relationships that have developed in the family, translating them into the features of his emerging personality. During the first years of life, the child’s emotional attitude to the world around him is formed, which manifests itself in how much and about what the child smiles or cries, what he is afraid of, what he rejoices, etc. It should be remembered that the lack of communication between the child and the mother disrupts his emotional development, therefore it is recommended to avoid even short-term separations (holiday trips, business trips, etc.) with the child at least until they reach 2-3 years of age.
Preschool age is characterized by the inclusion of a child in a peer group (most often in conditions kindergarten). At this stage, the child learns the norms and methods of behavior approved by parents and other adults (caregivers) in terms of interaction with other children, seeks to find something in himself that distinguishes him from other children: either positively, in various types amateur performances, or in pranks and whims, while focusing on the assessment not so much of children as adults. However, many children react painfully to being placed in a nursery.
Experts have proven that at the age of up to six months, babies adapt to the nursery painlessly, but later the child may lag behind in development, especially in the emotional sphere: emotional sensitivity decreases, the ability to empathize and responsiveness weakens, which in the future will cause problems in interpersonal communication, can lead to the formation of negative changes in the emotional sphere, to the emergence of neurotic disorders, difficulties in creating one's own family, etc.
Defining a baby in a nursery, starting from the age of seven months, is a traumatic factor for him: there is a painful rejection from the mother for the child. After 2 years, attachment to the mother, as a rule, is no longer so dependent, which makes it easier for the child to adapt to the conditions of the kindergarten. When deciding whether to place a child in a kindergarten, it should be remembered that anxiety when separated from the mother persists for girls up to 2.5 years, for boys - up to 3.5 years.
In early childhood, the child experiences the first crisis! crisis 3 years. It manifests itself primarily in negativism in relation to the requirements of the parents, and the child is also negative towards those requirements that coincide with his desires.
After the crisis of 3 years, the preschool period begins, where gaming activity dominates. In the game, human relations are modeled, the child learns role-playing forms of behavior. Play is an activity in which the whole outside world opens up before the child.
At primary school age, a child enters groups of classmates, learns to build new relationships, learns more complex norms and behavioral rules. At this age, an attitude towards oneself and people around is formed. The teacher has a special influence on the development of the child, who, by giving him marks, evaluating his educational activities, influences the relationship of the child with his parents and peers, forms their attitude towards him and the child's self-esteem. By the end of the stay in the lower grades, attitudes towards oneself are increasingly determined by relationships in the class, with peers, group assessments become more important than the opinions of adults. The leading activity at this age is not play, but teaching.
According to American psychologists, 35-40% of adults suffer from shyness and experience difficulties in communication. Experts believe that the source of excessive shyness is, as a rule, those forms of upbringing when parents constantly restrain children or make them remarks about what they do or say is not right.
A specific feature of the adolescent period is that the development of a teenager proceeds in parallel in various peer groups that are competitive for him in their significance (school, yard, sports section, etc.). Communication with peers becomes, along with teaching, a leading activity. At this age, the need to “be a person”, to assert oneself is clearly expressed. At the same time, there are quite pronounced contradictions between the assessments and requirements of peers and parents, adults in general.
With the onset of puberty, a teenager becomes more impulsive, unmotivated mood swings, conflict appear. Parents need to be aware of these changes. Excessive guardianship on their part leads to the development of lack of independence and aggressiveness, and excessive freedom can lead to selfish and asocial tendencies. Confidence is necessary in relations with parents, which has a beneficial effect on the emotional sphere of a teenager and on the style of communication with people. During these years, the teenager is going through a crisis of transitional age. Jean-Jacques Rousseau said that a person is born twice, that puberty is the second birth. The teenage crisis is one of the most difficult. At this time, there is a decrease in the value of communication in the family and an increase in the importance of communication with peers. Parents should be aware of this psychological pattern and at the same time remember that the decline in the authority of adults is temporary.
The main feature of adolescence is the awareness of one's own individuality, originality and dissimilarity to others. In adolescence, personality formation is completed, professional self-determination takes place.
The experience of doctors and teachers shows that sometimes a person's whole life is determined by his childhood. Many character traits of an adult, interests, behavior are directly dependent on the conditions and content of education. The child is a magnifying lens of evil: the slightest evil that is around him, he repeatedly refracts and magnifies, and this cannot pass without a trace for the child.
2.1 Parenting tactics
Psychologists have identified four main tactics of upbringing in the family and the four types of family relationships that correspond to them: dictate, guardianship, "non-intervention" and cooperation (A. V. Petrovsky).
Dictatorship in the family is manifested in the systematic suppression by some family members of the initiative and self-esteem of its other members. Parents who prefer order and pressure to all types of influence inevitably encounter resistance from the child, who can respond to coercion with hypocrisy, deceit, and rudeness. If the child's resistance is broken, such valuable personality traits as independence, self-esteem, self-confidence, and initiative are broken along with him.
Guardianship is such a system of relations in the family, in which parents ensure the satisfaction of all the needs of the child with their work, protect him from any worries, efforts and difficulties, taking them upon themselves.
In fact, diktat and guardianship are phenomena of the same order, differences in form, not in essence. However, the result largely coincides: children lack independence and initiative. These children give big number relapses in adolescence, rebelling against overprotection.
"Non-intervention" is usually based on the recognition of the expediency of independent coexistence of adults and children. With this form of relationship, there is an isolation of children and adults in the family, which is based on the passivity of parents as educators who do not interfere in the life of the child, but prefer a comfortable coexistence with him. This is the way to form an individualist.
Cooperation is a type of upbringing that implies the mediation of interpersonal relations in the family by the common goals and objectives of living together. Psychologists define this type of family relationship as optimal. In a situation of cooperation, the individualism of the child is overcome, he becomes a direct accomplice in family life, solving common problems and difficulties.
Conclusion
Parental attitudes appear long before the birth of a child. Raising children is a lot of work, great happiness, great love, constant search and doubt.
What qualities should you have good parents? First of all, the child should have confidence that his parents love him and take care of him. Parental love is the source and guarantee of a person's emotional well-being, maintaining bodily and spiritual health. Unfortunately, parents do not always know how to express their love for a child. All deviations in the emotional sphere and behavior of the child are most often due to a lack of parental love. There is no need to be afraid to spoil the child with manifestations of love, on the contrary, one must constantly inspire the child with confidence in its constancy, and this requires constant psychological contact with him. Contact is built as a result of interaction, dialogue with the child, stimulating his activity in the process of education. Parents should awaken in the child the need for their own achievements and self-improvement.
Another important rule of communication between parents and children is the acceptance of the child as he is - the recognition of the child's right to individuality, dissimilarity, 6 including to parents. This implies the rejection of often fair, but negative assessments of the child's personality. It is necessary to love a child not because he is good, but because he is, to love the way he is. Psychologists have proven that the success of education is directly related to the level of personality of the parents, the wealth and harmony of the inner world of an adult. Therefore, the process of education is always a process of self-education.
In the scientific literature, synonyms for the concept of "psychological climate of the family" are "psychological atmosphere of the family", "emotional climate of the family", "socio-psychological climate of the family". It should be noted that there is no strict definition of these concepts. For example, O. A. Dobrynina understands the socio-psychological climate of a family as its generalized, integrative characteristic, which reflects the degree of satisfaction of the spouses with the main aspects of family life, the general tone and style of communication.
The psychological climate in the family determines the stability of intra-family relations, has a decisive influence on the development of both children and adults. It is not something fixed, given once and for all. It is created by the members of each family, and it depends on their efforts how it will be, favorable or unfavorable, and how long the marriage will last. Thus, a favorable psychological climate is characterized by the following features: cohesion, the possibility of comprehensive development of the personality of each of its members, high benevolent exactingness of family members to each other, a sense of security and emotional satisfaction, pride in belonging to one's family, responsibility. In a family with a favorable psychological climate, each of its members treats the others with love, respect and trust, to parents - also with reverence, to a weaker one - with readiness to help at any moment. Important indicators of a favorable psychological climate of the family are the desire of its members to spend their free time in the home circle, talk on topics of interest to everyone, do homework together, emphasize the dignity and good deeds of everyone. Such a climate promotes harmony, reduces the severity of emerging conflicts, relieves stress, increases the assessment of one's own social significance and the realization of the personal potential of each family member. The initial basis of a favorable family climate is marital relations. Living together requires the spouses to be ready to compromise, to be able to take into account the needs of a partner, to give in to each other, to develop in themselves such qualities as mutual respect, trust, mutual understanding.
When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, alienation, in this case they speak of an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. All this prevents the family from fulfilling one of its main functions - psychotherapeutic, relieving stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and a deficit in positive emotions. If family members do not strive to change this situation for the better, then the very existence of the family becomes problematic.
Psychological climate can be defined as a more or less stable emotional mood characteristic of a particular family, which is a consequence of family communication, that is, it arises as a result of the totality of the mood of family members, their emotional experiences and worries, attitudes towards each other, towards other people, towards work, to surrounding events. It should be noted that the emotional atmosphere of the family is an important factor in the effectiveness of the family's vital functions, the state of its health in general, it determines the stability of the marriage.
Many Western scholars believe that modern society the family loses its traditional functions, becoming an institution of emotional contact, a kind of "psychological refuge". Domestic scientists also emphasize the growing role of emotional factors in the functioning of the family.
V. S. Torokhtiy speaks about the psychological health of the family and that this “integral indicator of the dynamics of vital functions for it, expressing the qualitative side of the socio-psychological processes taking place in it and, in particular, the ability of the family to resist the undesirable influences of the social environment”, is not identical to the concept of "socio-psychological climate", which is more applicable to groups (including small ones) of a heterogeneous composition, more often uniting their members on the basis of professional activity and the fact that they have ample opportunities to leave the group, etc. To small group, which has family ties that ensure stable and long-term psychological interdependence, where the closeness of interpersonal intimate experiences is preserved, where the similarity of value orientations is especially significant, where not one, but a number of family-wide goals are simultaneously distinguished, and the flexibility of their priority, targeting is preserved, where the main condition for its existence is integrity - the term "psychological health of the family" is more acceptable.
mental health- this is a state of mental psychological well-being of the family, which ensures the regulation of the behavior and activities of all family members adequate to their living conditions. To the main criteria for the psychological health of the family B.C. Torokhty attributes the similarity of family values, functional-role consistency, social-role adequacy in the family, emotional satisfaction, adaptability in microsocial relations, striving for family longevity. These criteria of the psychological health of the family create a general psychological portrait of the modern family and, above all, characterize the degree of its well-being.