In his book, Bruce Tulgan touches on the key problem of modern managers - the epidemic of "undermanagement" - and offers specific steps that will help you become a strong manager who: clearly articulates your expectations to employees, receives and analyzes feedback regularly, corrects mistakes of subordinates in time and even faster rewards them for their success.

Do you spend a lot of time talking to employees? You discuss hundreds of topics: “How was your weekend? Was your son's birthday successful? Have you seen this TV show? Perhaps you want to talk to employees about their personal affairs in order to build closer bonds with them. However, this approach interferes with managerial relationships. When the discussion starts to touch on work issues, you can't always exercise your power to the fullest. If you have a difficult assignment, you sometimes have to put pressure on an employee. And in such a situation, you suddenly change your tone and start talking seriously, hastily, and sometimes too emotionally with him about work. And at this point, the employee may well say something like: “Hey, I thought we were friends ?!” And you can forget about the previous mutual understanding.

I call it Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. If you build relationships with employees by talking to them personally, like close friends, then in situations where the conversation becomes serious, and it always happens, sooner or later, you must take on a completely different role. You go from Mr. Boss Buddy to Mr. Boss Jerk and stay in that role until the problem goes away and you get a chance to return to being Mr. Buddy again. Only now Mr. Friend is already beginning to seem fake, and Mr. Boss will have to fight for his rights.

Talk about work

If you want to be Mr. Friend to your employees, you can have a beer with them in the evening. However at work you must be the boss. Your role is to keep the overall focus on work and help everyone perform at their best every day. The good news is that the best way to build rapport with your employees is to actually talk to them about work. This is what you have in common. In fact, work is the reason why you have any relationship at all. When you build rapport by talking about shared activities, you reduce the likelihood of conflict and at the same time create a relationship that will survive conflict should it arise. So talk about the work that has already been done and the work that needs to be done. Talk about how to avoid mistakes, find workarounds and make sure all resources are available in sufficient quantity, talk about goals, deadlines, norms and specifications, talk about work. And everything will be much better.

How do the most effective manager-mentors talk?

Many managers tell me: "I'm not a born leader. I ..." (You can fill in the missing ones yourself, for example, an accountant, an engineer, a doctor, and so on). They say, “I don't really like the management process. It involves too many difficult conversations." In fact, these managers make it clear that they don't know how to effectively talk to employees about work.

Only a few have a special type of charisma, an infectious passion and enthusiasm that inspire and motivate people. What about everyone else? You may not be able to develop charisma, but you may well learn to talk about work directly and effectively. You can learn to speak Right words to their employees at the right time and in the right way.

The most effective managers use a specific method of communication. They adopt special postures, demeanor and tone. They can be both bossy and responsive, demanding and supportive, disciplined and patient. This is not the style of Mr. Friend or Mr. Boss, but rather something in between. This particular way of communicating is a lot like performance mentoring.

"I've never been a particularly good mentor," managers sometimes tell me, "so I don't know what it's like." Well, I can describe the mentor speaking in a flat and insistent voice. He is methodical and involved. He is full of enthusiasm and drive. His behavior is constantly aimed at stimulating concentration and responsibility.

Try to think of the best boss, teacher, counselor, or spiritual guide you have ever met in your life. Try to hear the sound and tone of his voice, think of examples of his honesty and openness. Reflect on the impact he had on you.

When I think about mentoring, I immediately think of Frank Gorman, the greatest teacher I have ever known and learned from. All those years that we knew each other, Frank was focused on one thing - karate. He was lucky to have the special charisma, passion and enthusiasm that characterize strong leaders. He is a real master, helping people to achieve the right degree of concentration and work hard to achieve a single goal for many hours, without even thinking about rest. How does he do it?

“The only thing that matters is your thumbs,” Frank could repeat week after week, “squeeze them, press them hard into your palms, so hard that your forearm tendons lift.” I was sweating, tensing from physical exhaustion, trying to look straight ahead with my jaw down, my shoulders squared, my elbows pressed, my back straight, my legs firmly pressed into the floor, and Frank Gorman was shouting and whispering in my ear: “Thumbs, squeeze thumbs up, that's the only thing that matters right now."

Another day, the only thing that mattered was something else: my eyes, jaw, shoulders, etc. Finally, a few years ago, I asked, “How can my thumbs be the only thing that matters in karate? How can you learn something when the only important thing is constantly changing. It's something new every time!" Frank smiled and replied, “No one can learn karate in a day or a year. All we have is today. What can I teach you right now? What can you focus on at this very moment? What can improve at this moment? The only thing that matters is that we do here and now.

The main thing I've learned from Frank is that the unyielding power of your insistent voice simply leaves the person you've mentored with no choice but to focus on what they're doing right now. For those who become wards in such a situation, the demands can be very serious, but the return on effort will be huge. When you set people up for success in this way, their only option is to immerse themselves in their work, because you, unlike most people in their lives, require them to become the best. You remind them to focus on every detail. You help them improve one skill after another by focusing on skill development, they learn to concentrate. They get black belts in everything they do. And perhaps many years after they stop working for you, they will still continue to hear your voice: “The only thing that matters is what we are doing right now.”

Obviously, some people have about more talent for mentoring than others. However, any person can adopt the manner of communication characteristic of a mentor, coach, teacher. Should you imitate someone from your own past? Yes, just try it. This is a great starting point as you develop your own style over time.

You don't have to run around the office yelling "hooray".

Sometimes managers worry that if they talk to their subordinates like mentors, they will seem insincere, and the words will sound unnatural. As one top executive in a software company put it, “I won't run around the office yelling 'cheers.' I'm not a mentor."

However, mentoring has little to do with such cries. And here's the good news: truly effective mentoring simply can't be unnatural. It is always a sincere process. And sometimes it turns out to be so sincere that you don’t even realize that you are engaged in mentoring.

This is how I responded to this manager. Then I asked him to recall the most successful examples of his own managerial communication throughout his career. As he began to describe his successes in management, a smile appeared on his face. And you know what? His stories were great examples of the work of a mentor. He said:

“I thought of each person as an individual. Who is he, what does he think? I tried to focus on the work and its results, and not on the person. I chose my words very carefully. I wanted to understand as accurately as possible what I already know and what I don't. I asked questions, however, in addition, I pushed the person to specific next steps. We were exactly in the middle of working on the project, so I took special time to tell what went right and what went wrong. Then we developed a detailed plan for the next steps, and I continued to monitor their execution until they were all completed.

That's exactly how boss should talk

• tune in to the person you have become a mentor to;
• focus on specific examples of his work;
• describe the work and results of the employee sincerely and clearly;
• formulate the next concrete steps

Don't Wait for Problems to Mentor

Pretty quickly, early in our work with managers, we realized that some bosses can be considered true masters of mentoring, but many are not particularly good at it. However, we've learned that when it comes to managing people, it's the mentoring conversations that can lead to real action.

The trouble is that most managers only start mentoring when they face persistent challenges such as missed deadlines and poor quality work or misbehavior such as being unkind to clients or co-workers. Only when the managers realize that the problem is not going away, they decide to invite the employee to their office and edify: “I see that your performance is not all right, and we need to work on fixing it for a while.”

By this time, the participants in the dialogue may already have unpleasant sensations. The manager starts asking the employee: “What is the problem?!”, and he, listening to him, thinks: “Why didn’t he talk to me about this before?” Often the manager's next step is limited to saying, "Don't do that again." And it works, but just until the problem arises again, remember that if the difficulties are persistent, then this is probably due to the fact that the employee either does not know what needs to be done to correct the situation, or is under the authority one or more bad habits that cause the problem to return, and when the problem returns, it is too late to mentor. It is best to do this in advance in order to have time to set the employee up for success. For example, if you have a subordinate who chronically misses deadlines, don't wait until the next time it happens. Start mentoring as soon as you set your first deadline. Help the employee set milestones, and then help them create a plan to meet them every step of the way. Communicate more often with the employee. Speak in advance what and how will happen at the time of completion of the work. If you do this, then in 99% of cases this person will hand over his work on time.

Stop mentoring when problems have already arisen, do it when employees are doing great, or at least just fine. Mentor your employees every step of the way and help them develop good habits to prevent them from developing bad ones.

Get extraordinary results from ordinary people

Over the years of my career, I have been fortunate to work with many US military officers. One of the most amazing things about the army has to do with its ability to turn a huge number of young and relatively inexperienced people into incredibly effective leaders. Take, for example, the Marine Corps. These troops have a one-to-nine ratio of officers to enlisted men, and the Marines have to rely heavily on interim leaders from their own ranks. At any moment, one of the eight should be ready to take charge and lead a fireteam of three comrades. The army successfully turns ordinary nineteen-year-olds into effective leaders. How does it work?

Recruits are trained very hard and aggressively. Every day from morning to night for thirteen weeks in the training camp, newcomers are told exactly what and how to do, their every step is tracked, evaluated and documented. Challenges are not ignored, and even the smallest reward must be earned through hard work, but even after the first period of training is completed, this aggressive, thorough, and thoughtful mentoring of the Marines continues daily. When it comes to training new leaders, the Marine Corps, as always, is incredibly methodical. Marines learn mentoring techniques. They learn to tune in to each soldier's wavelength, constantly discuss his activities with him and instruct him step by step so that tasks are performed better.

The new leader takes full responsibility for the team. He knows exactly who, where, why, when and how is doing this or that business. He makes his expectations very clear. He tracks, measures and documents the results of his subordinates. He solves problems as the team leader takes care of his foot soldiers. As a result, the average nineteen-year-old often turns out to be a better manager than many executives with decades of professional experience.

“We have to get extraordinary results from ordinary people,” a Marine officer told me. "And the only way to do that is to squeeze those results out of every person every day through relentless and active leadership work at every level of the hierarchy."

The Marines call it relentless and active leadership. I call it mentoring, learn how to talk like a mentor boss and squeeze extraordinary results out of every ordinary employee.

© Bruce Tulgan. Being the boss is okay. - M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2016.
© Published with the permission of the publisher

At first glance, it may seem that the work of a secretary does not require much effort. Sit in your waiting room, answer calls, type and print out various documents, prepare tea for your boss... But the duties of a secretary are by no means limited to these simple things. In fact, he has a very important task: he organizes the manager’s time and draws up his work schedule. And you already know how important it is to plan the time correctly.

Thus, the activity of the personal secretary of the head plays an important role in the organization, and, therefore, the secretary is not the last person in the company. A good secretary is always a professional whom the boss trusts like himself.

In order to discuss with the manager any important questions, it is advisable to contact the secretary first. The next chapter will discuss how important it is to communicate with your line manager as often as possible. In this case, of course, it is not worth every time to arrange a meeting with him through the secretary. But when you need to turn to higher authorities, it is undesirable to bypass such an important authority as a personal secretary. The fact is that the higher the position a person occupies, the more duties he has, and this is no secret to anyone. There are more responsibilities, and, accordingly, less precious time, so it is permissible to disturb him only on serious issues. I do not doubt for a minute that you turn to your superiors only in those cases when you really have something to say, and this is wonderful. But, as they say, this is not written on your forehead, and yet many employees sin by distracting the manager from business and taking away from him the scarce time that is already strictly scheduled by the minute. For this reason, another important duty lies on the shoulders of the personal secretary, which can be described as a barrier. Indeed, often the secretary decides who to make an appointment with the head, and who not. From this, several useful conclusions can be drawn.

First, always introduce yourself right away, clearly state your name and position in the organization. If you start to hesitate or mutter something unintelligible, the secretary may have not very humane thoughts towards you.

Secondly, clearly state in advance the purpose of your visit to the head, since the personal secretary has every right to ask about this. No improvisations and abstract phrases in this case, as they say, “will not work”: after all, you already know that only those employees who know for sure why they go to his office are allowed to see the boss.

But what to do when you know for sure that you are going to ask for an increase in your salary or official position? Or maybe you want to complain about a colleague who poisons your life with her behavior, or even - oh horror! - to your immediate supervisor? Of course, here I exaggerate a little, but you, of course, understood the general meaning of my words. The purpose of a visit related to such delicate issues should not be directly laid out to the secretary. For these occasions, there is such a streamlined wording as "on a personal matter." However, do not abuse these magic words by using them too often, otherwise one far from perfect day you will simply no longer be allowed to see the boss. Also, get ready for the fact that on personal matters, the leader, most likely, will not accept you immediately. His secretary will sign you up for an appointment at a convenient time for the boss. Of course, in those situations when it comes to what is called life and death, it is permissible to ask the secretary so that the manager will receive you as soon as possible. Keep in mind only that such cases are classified as extraordinary, and therefore they should occur extremely rarely.

Thirdly, it is impossible not to mention the so-called human factor. Yes, your manager's personal secretary is not a robot, but an ordinary person with his own likes and dislikes. Of course, this cannot but affect his attitude towards this or that employee, despite the fact that a true professional always strives for maximum objectivity. It follows from this that the better the manager's personal secretary treats you, the more benefits you get: for example, the secretary will always choose convenient reception hours for you, both in terms of your time availability and in terms of the mood of your management. In the cases necessary for you, he can let you through, as they say, "without a report." Therefore, treat the secretary with respect; be sure to find out his name and patronymic (what this is for, I will tell you later) and generally try to establish friendly relations with him.

The secretary is the person who, by virtue of his duties, communicates a lot with the manager and in general is always with him when he is at his workplace. This means that he studied the character and habits of the boss well, and such information is of no small importance. For example, a personal secretary can hint to you or even tell you, of course, in secret, that at the moment it is better not to approach the leader, because he is not in a good mood or he has a headache or something like that. In addition, we do not always go to the boss ourselves, it happens that he calls us. Even if the reason for this is unknown to you, if you have a good relationship with his personal secretary, you will not be long in lingering uncertainty: most likely, the secretary will at least outline the current situation for you. Agree, when you have the opportunity to find out about the leader's intentions towards you in advance, it's just great, because you get the opportunity to prepare for everything that you can expect "on the carpet."

Probably, the secretary will not only tell you about the mood of the boss, but even give you some practical advice on how to behave in this situation, and this is only to your advantage.

So rejoice if you have such a trusting relationship with your manager's personal secretary. Be grateful to him and do not forget about signs of attention, even if purely symbolic, such as flowers or sweets on holidays. Remember that pleasant little things are not really small things, because they help create a friendly atmosphere in human relationships, and this is very important.

Another fundamental point regarding your relationship with the personal secretary of the head. His disposition to you still does not give you the right to demand from him any additional information, in addition to what he considers necessary to tell you. As with any communication, it is important here not to overstep the bounds of what is permitted: after all, the working environment does not imply close, but official business relations between people. In the end, the secretary simply does not have the right to disclose any information. Do not take your boss's personal secretary as your spy in the camp of the enemy. And in no case do not allow yourself to make statements like “Yes, I have a secretary of our boss - my own man!” in front of colleagues. Not only will you destroy the trusting atmosphere that exists in your relationship with the secretary with such words, you can seriously harm a person. Such behavior of the secretary is not welcomed by the management, and, unfortunately, in any work team there will certainly be gossips who, out of envy, will not fail to bring these facts to the attention of your boss. Do not become a source of trouble for another person! Appreciate what you have, and you will receive a worthy reward, such as respect and trust.

How much to communicate?

This chapter will talk about how much you need to communicate with your immediate supervisor. Of course, you will communicate with him for some time, regardless of your desire or, conversely, unwillingness. Now I want to talk about how often you should show your initiative in communication, in addition to those cases when the boss gives orders to subordinates or you report to him about the work done.

So how much do you need to communicate with the leader - a lot or a little? It is difficult to answer this question unequivocally, but I believe that in this situation the principle "The more the better" in most cases still justifies itself. Of course, in no case should you be intrusive: this will only cause irritation in your boss. Therefore, each time follow his reaction to your initiative: if it turns out to be negative, then you should postpone the conversation until the next time. Also consider the personality of your leader, because he can be both a closed and taciturn person, and an open person who loves to talk. Plan your communication with him, starting from these factors. By the way, about the manager's trust in you: if you have it, it will not only be much easier for you to present your creative ideas to him, but also to convince him of their benefits for the organization.

A word of advice: do not attempt to communicate if you see that your boss is unwell or in a bad mood. After all, we are all human, we all have days when we don’t want to see anyone, and your manager is no exception in this sense.

Before taking the initiative to contact, think about whether your manager currently has free time to chat with you. Do not forget that his time is worth its weight in gold, and yours, by the way, too.

And yet, why should you communicate with the leader as much as possible? First, the effect of advertising works here. All advertising is based on the following psychological moment: people inevitably develop sympathy and trust in what is always in their field of vision. And the more often you communicate with your boss, the more often, respectively, you are in front of him. Continuing to draw a parallel with advertising, I will note that its main goal is to present the advertised item in the most favorable light. And communication with the leader is a great opportunity for you to show him all your strengths, abilities and strengths.

Secondly, frequent communication with the leader gives you a chance to get to know his personality well, and I will tell you why this is necessary in the chapter “It is useful to get to know each other better”.

Thirdly, any initiative for contacts coming from you is, first of all, a manifestation of attention to your boss and thereby emphasizing his importance in your eyes. In this confusing, at first glance, phrase, there is a simple meaning: after all, if you want to communicate with a person, then his personality and thoughts are of interest to you, and such an opinion of your leader is only to your advantage.

Finally, every person holding a managerial position has achieved certain successes in this life, and we have already talked more than once about how important it is to communicate with successful people. In fact, communication with the boss can bring you great benefits: you will get the opportunity to learn a lot from him. Of course, in order to benefit from communication with the leader, you need to talk less and listen more.

So, you have realized the advantages of frequent communication with the boss. Let's now outline a range of topics for him, since there is nothing worse than meaningless and empty conversations, and besides, you will not achieve anything with them. It is clear that the main part of your communication with the manager should be related to clarifying issues related to work. But even here there are some peculiarities.

Of course, the more often you are interested in the opinion of the leader and ask him for advice, the better, because by doing this you show him what great authority he has in your eyes. Therefore, do not show excessive shyness and do not hesitate to ask the boss questions. By the way, such consultations significantly increase your chances of doing the job better than your other colleagues who do not want to additionally talk with the boss and find out points that are not entirely clear to themselves. Or maybe they're just too lazy to do it. The reasons are not important here, only the end result matters. However, your communication on professional topics should be meaningful, so think not only about quantity, but also about quality.

It will be very good if your communication with the leader will include subtle and thoughtful compliments. On the pages of this book, we will talk about what they should be like, but for now I will only note how important it is in the process of communication to sincerely admire the boss and show him in every possible way how pleasant it is for you to work under the guidance of such a wise and far-sighted person and an excellent specialist in of your area.

And a few more words about compliments to the head. A great effect can be achieved by the so-called compliment-comparison, for example: “I (would) have been solving this issue for two hours, and you dealt with it in five minutes!”. No one encourages you to openly belittle yourself, this should not be done, and such compliments give excellent results.

Undoubtedly, when you communicate with your leader a lot, this contributes to rapprochement with him, however, everything has its own boundaries, which it is extremely undesirable to cross. So, rapprochement with the boss does not mean that you can afford a familiar tone in communicating with him. On the contrary, familiarity should not be allowed in any case, because there is no such thing that is so unpleasant for any leader. Even if your boss prefers not an authoritarian, but a democratic style of communication with his subordinates, this is not a reason to become cheeky when talking with him. Appreciate the fact that the boss respects you and respond to him with the same respect. For example, when you see your boss the night before in a restaurant, don't wink at him the next morning with a knowing look and ask, "Well, how did you walk?" It would seem that I am now talking about obvious truths, but many do not want to understand this, so do not follow a bad example.

What non-work related things are acceptable to talk about with your manager? There are few options here: about the weather, about the health of family members and, possibly, about some political news. I do not advise you to talk about your illnesses, because you already know that no one needs sick employees. Also, do not start conversations about your personal life or discuss family problems with your boss: your boss does not hold the position of a psychologist, and the work environment is not the time or place for this kind of revelation. With your outpourings, you do not show a good attitude towards the boss, but simply put the person in an awkward position.

Subject to these simple rules, your boss will always be sincerely happy to once again communicate with such a tactful and interesting person, how are you. Well, you, in turn, will receive trust and disposition from his side!

Motivation from below

We are all accustomed to motivation from above, that is, to such motivation, which is carried out by our leadership. Accordingly, motivation from below is a kind of motivation in which you, a subordinate, motivate your boss. Yes, do not be surprised, this is also possible. Motivation from below has a positive effect on the work of the whole team, so it is worth implementing it. What needs to be done for this, you ask me. We will talk about this with you now.

One of the forms of motivation from below can be considered a presentation of your ideas, plans and projects to management, because fresh, unbanal and practical thoughts will definitely make your boss think and, most likely, take some action in order to bring them to life. Of course, for this to happen, your ideas must be carefully considered, so you will have to work hard, but do not hesitate: the reward will not be long in coming. But when presenting new improved ways and methods of work, in no case do not scold the old ones, because your manager may well think that you consider him an incompetent person, but do you need it?

So just say that using your idea, the work will proceed faster, more economically, bring better results, while not describing in detail the shortcomings of previous technologies. Immediately give out specific figures and facts, since vague formulations, unsupported by evidence, are not able to move anyone to action.

In general, be careful when making any new proposal that you think could improve your workflow, so as not to end up in an awkward situation. For example, you have long noticed that the computer program used in the organization is outdated, moreover, you know about the existence of new versions. So what, run to the leadership to declare it? No, first you need to check everything properly. It is quite possible that new versions of this program have not yet been fully developed, and, in computer jargon, are frankly "buggy", freeze and generally lead to a malfunction of computers. In the end, you will still be at fault. By the way, the above applies to your own projects. Submit only such ideas, in which you can be sure that they will not "freeze" at any stage of their implementation into action.

Another way to motivate your leader is to follow his orders, slightly ahead of them. How to put it into practice, you already know - you should always do something at work beyond what is included in your duties. By doing extra work, you will naturally be one step ahead. For the full effect of motivation, you must definitely demonstrate your progress to your boss. Excessive modesty here is not only inappropriate, it can play a detrimental role. You are already familiar with the golden principle of "do much and ask little," but following it does not mean hiding your achievements from management. On the contrary, motivation from below is expressed approximately in the following behavior: after listening to the list of tasks from the boss, joyfully say: “Ivan Ivanovich, and I have already done this, that, and that. So please tell me what else I need to do this week, besides what you have already mentioned. Not only will your manager be pleasantly surprised by your diligence, the latter will serve as an excellent motivation for him. You can also inform him about the work done before he takes an interest in it. Only with such a conversation, your appearance should not express impatience, and thoughts should not be read from your face, like “That's what a fine fellow I am - I have already done everything while you are picking there!”. Always respect the orders of your leadership, even if you think they are somewhat erroneous.

You already know how important it is to consult with your boss as the work progresses. However, keep in mind that if you check with him for every trifle, this will not cause him anything but irritation, since by such actions you simply take away precious time from him. So if you want to motivate your boss by getting the job done ahead of time, don't run as fast as you can with every little move. For motivation, present only the finished piece of work to his attention.

Just want to warn you against excessive independence in the work. First, when you take on any responsible project without first consulting with your supervisor, there is a real threat that you will do something not quite right (I say this with all due respect to your abilities and talents). In this case, your boss will be, to put it mildly, not happy. Of course, you need to believe in yourself, but at the same time adequately assess your capabilities. Secondly, it is quite likely that your boss will not like this kind of initiative, since he will decide that you do not take him into account at all, and this opinion of his, in turn, will negatively affect his attitude towards you. Whatever one may say, he is the leader, and you are his subordinate, and in no case should you violate subordination. In addition, only someone who enjoys his respect and trust can motivate any person.

Another important point. The only way to motivate a manager is to do the work that is done as soon as possible. As folk wisdom says, he took up the tug - do not say that it is not hefty. My confidence that you are a diligent and hardworking person has no limits, so laziness or unwillingness to work is not an obstacle for you. On your way, another, in fact, no less dangerous trap may arise - perfectionism, that is, the desire to check every little thing many times. It is clear that the motives of this phenomenon are noble - you strive to do your job as best and as accurately as possible, however, the results, unfortunately, are negative: the manager will simply decide that you are slow, and I will generally keep silent about the results of such "motivation". So do your job quickly.

It's probably not a secret for anyone that other people's successes hurt, and sometimes very much. Speaking of this, I do not mean black envy, but healthy competition, which, as you know, can inspire a person to significant progress in work. I do not at all urge you to compete with your boss: this seems to me a little real and, moreover, an absolutely unnecessary exercise. But to ask how things are in a competing organization, especially if you have such an opportunity, perhaps it is worth it. Then you need to carefully present the successes of competitors to your boss: such facts motivate him greatly. Just do not present the obtained information in this way: that's how everything is fine with them, but everything is bad with us, since this will only lead to negative results.

But motivation from below is not limited to professional area, it is also necessary in such matters as, for example, improving working conditions, raising wages, your career growth. What are your chances of success here? Of course, nothing can be guaranteed, because one thing is the successful work in the department, and quite another is the personal well-being of employees. Of course, a far-sighted leader sees a connection between these circumstances, because he understands that people cannot work productively, being in bad conditions and even receiving a penny reward for their work, however ... Nevertheless, it's worth a try. The path that you must set aside for yourself is attempts to put pressure on pity, that is, whining, and an open expression of discontent. Try to motivate your boss with praise. For example, he ordered to put protective screens on computer monitors. Be sure to tell him how wonderful it is, tell him that your eyes do not get tired now, and you have become much more successful. Surely your boss will blossom and want to do something else for such a grateful subordinate. As for raising salaries and moving up the career ladder, there is only one way to motivate them - hard work. Remember that you have to do a lot and ask little, and then your efforts will not go unrewarded.

It is important to remember about motivation on a psychological level as well. Informing your boss about the results of the work done with a cheerful and cheerful look, you must radiate enthusiasm, energy and optimism in order to infect your leader with these qualities. Show sincere zeal for work. Remember that your thirst for activity can inspire the people around you and inspire them to labor exploits, and your boss is no exception in this sense!

Effective communication

There is no doubt that any information must be able to present. Even the most brilliant idea will not be appreciated by your management if you mutter it under your breath or get stuck in insignificant details, because, as you know, a diamond becomes a sparkling diamond after careful cutting. Hence the conclusion: any information that you want to submit to your boss (or colleagues), whether it is a report on the work done, a presentation or your creative ideas, must be processed, not "raw", only then it will be perceived appropriately. Of course, there are situations when you have to give out some information spontaneously, but in most cases you have time, albeit a short one, to prepare your speech. What is the key to success when submitting any information?

First, you must master your material to perfection. It would seem that this is a common truth, but why then do many people neglect it? When you do not quite understand what exactly you are going to talk about, you can go astray, confused, and you can hardly think of anything worse than that. To prevent this from happening to you, always write the text of your proposed speech. Yes, speeches, because the presentation of information, in fact, is, especially at first, an almost continuous monologue. By writing down your thoughts on paper, you avoid the danger of missing something. In addition, writing helps structure your ideas. After you have written the text of the speech for yourself, highlight the main and secondary points in it. Do not forget that each thesis (i.e., key idea) must be followed by one or more arguments (i.e., evidence of your idea). Decide in what order you will present your information. At the same time, the most important information I advise you to take it to the beginning of the speech. Why, you ask. This is explained by the so-called law of progressive impatience of listeners. Its essence is as follows: more people speaks, the less they listen to him. The first 10 minutes of the performance are perceived by the listeners as 10 minutes, the second - as 20 minutes, and the third - in general as 30 minutes! Therefore, the optimal time for the presentation is about ten minutes. If your presentation is designed for a longer amount of time, put all the important points at the beginning.

The information you present must be clear and concise for the audience. Avoid inaccuracies, vague wording (by the way, when you fix the text of the speech on paper, this problem disappears by itself). Not to mention the fact that your information will not be perceived, you will simply steal precious time from yourself and your listeners. In addition, a person who does not really know what he means causes great irritation.

One of the principles of effective presentation of information is visibility (for example, a presentation is generally based on it). However, you have the opportunity to use this wonderful principle in other cases, for example, when you are preparing a report on the work done. The secret is simple: always use specific numbers and facts. For example, instead of saying "Our economic performance has improved recently," say "In the last (year, month, quarter), our economic performance in such and such areas has grown by so many percent." The first sentence basically says nothing, while the second one gives exhaustive information. It is clear that for this you will have to work hard, collect and analyze various figures and facts, however, the effect of such a speech will be incomparably higher than from an abstract "talking room".

It is very important to use specific arguments in case you want to push your ideas, say, for improving working methods. Your conclusions must be based on a solid foundation, guesses and assumptions based on no one knows what are not good here. In order for your manager to believe in the benefit of your ideas for the organization, show him this benefit in percentages and facts. By the way, in this situation it is also quite acceptable to use visual diagrams and drawings.

So, you have carefully thought out and put down on paper the text of your proposed speech, and this is 30% of success. The remaining 70% is how you present the information verbally. What are the points to be considered here?

It's no secret that you can't impress listeners just by reading a piece of paper. We were all taught to read in the first grade, but the ability to tell stories takes much longer to learn. Do not be afraid, there is nothing complicated here, just follow a few tips. First: memorization of the text is very close to elementary reading. You can memorize the text, but imagine what will happen if you are asked a question during the speech. The answer is unequivocal: You will simply lose your mind. Therefore, the written text must be retold several times, only then you will feel confident. Speaking of confidence when speaking: you must speak without doubting the correctness of your words, otherwise you will not be able to convince anyone of anything. If you mutter under your breath or stutter, the whole effect will go down the drain.

The second rule: Your speech should not be monotonous, it makes you bored, and in especially neglected cases, it completely lulls you. The performance, therefore, must be emotional. But do not forget at the same time that everything is good in moderation. Use appropriate gestures, which will be discussed in the Non-Verbal Communication chapter.

If you have such an opportunity, choose the best time for your speech, because the perception of your words by the audience (and in our case, by the leader) depends not only on how well the information is presented, but also on the state of the latter. In other words, if your manager, for example, has a toothache or just Bad mood, it is hardly worth presenting your thoughts to him at the moment. Choose another, more suitable time. By the way, when choosing a time to present your information, think about whether this very time is enough to listen to you carefully from your boss? Information presented on the go, or even on the run, is at best perceived only partially, and in general it is not perceived at all.

And some practical advice on how to express the text of the speech. What techniques should be used to present information most effectively?

First, always focus on important words and word combinations. You have already written the text of the speech, so it will be easy for you to find and highlight them. But even if your speech is spontaneous, since you did not have the time and opportunity for preliminary preparation, you will easily find the main words in each phrase. Highlight them with your voice: changing the tone will make the person alert and listen to you especially carefully, which ultimately improves the perception of your listener (or listeners).

But it is necessary to change not only the timbre of the voice, but also the tempo of speech. Changing the pace will give your speech expressiveness and save it from monotony (we have already talked about the dangers of this phenomenon). There is the following pattern here: those words that you consider the most significant in your speech should be pronounced more slowly compared to the rest. So you again focus on them.

Third, be sure to pause before and after important thoughts or words. With this technique, you will draw the attention of the audience to them, because a pause in the speech made before the presentation of the thought makes you concentrate. And the pause after that gives the listeners the opportunity to think more carefully about what they have just heard. Thus, theses, framed by pauses, are much better deposited in their memory and consciousness.

And finally, the last and, perhaps, the most important advice on this issue. In order for your speech to be successful, and the presentation of the information contained in it, accordingly, effective, you need to put your soul into what you say. This idea in itself is not new, you must have heard about it many times before reading these lines. Now ask yourself the question: do you always follow this truly golden principle? And what does it mean to invest your soul, you ask. Yes, at first glance this recommendation seems abstract and perhaps even useless. But in fact, in addition to using practical techniques, you need to present any information with enthusiasm, with faith in what you are talking about, speak with feeling, and not automatically. This is not difficult to do, since the content of any speech is, first of all, your thoughts, your conclusions, even if you state the point of view of another person or facts that are generally known at first glance. Speak with your soul, and the effect of the information presented by you will be equal to one hundred percent!

Building a message

No, in this chapter we will not talk about sms-messages, e-mail and records on the answering machine (more precisely, not only about them). You and I will understand any statement or speech as a message. Indeed, think about it, because we speak when we want to communicate something to our listeners. It would seem that any message is built spontaneously: a thought arises in the head, and then it is clothed in words and pronounced. Or we subsequently process the thought that has arisen, but only then. All these actually very complex processes occur quickly, in a matter of fractions of a second. Basically, we think about the content of what we want to say, and the form comes as if by itself. This is partly true, because many grammatical models of sentences, phrases, and phrases are embedded in our minds. But try to pronounce it in a familiar way. foreign language some suggestion. You will need much more time, because the grammatical structures of this language are not initially present in your mind. So it's just great that we have a lot in our head, otherwise just imagine what it would be like if we built every phrase anew! However, some statements, not only in written, but in oral speech, must be processed in order to be understood correctly. But it is on this, in the final analysis, that the success of communication depends. In part, we have already talked about this in the chapter "Effective presentation of information", now let's dwell on some details. Do not worry, there is nothing complicated here, but the benefits are obvious: by learning how to build your messages correctly, you will achieve a lot.

As you know, at least two people participate in communication - the speaker and the listener. In another way, they are also called the addresser (the one who transmits the message) and the addressee (the one who perceives this message). Moreover, not only one person, but several, even many, can act as the addressee. For example, you say something to several colleagues - your listeners are more than one person. We will consider the issue of constructing messages mainly from the position of the speaker.

Any message does not begin at all from the moment when you opened your mouth and began to speak. First, an intention to say something arises in the mind of the speaker. Then the thought is expressed in words and pronounced - this sequence is already familiar to you. However, what is the purpose of the sender of the message? He wants the listener to perceive his words adequately and understand them correctly. And what conclusions can be drawn for yourself from here? In the psychology of communication there is such a thing as orientation to the addressee. In other words, when building a message, you must take into account the personality of your interlocutor, his age, level of knowledge, position, profession. The words you use are very important. Do not complicate your speech, do not use words, the meaning of which, as you know, your interlocutor simply does not know. By the way, this applies primarily to professional words. The need to communicate at work often brings together representatives of different professions, and, say, a financial director may not know many words and expressions related to the specifics of a PR manager. However, they need to agree. Remember that one content can be expressed in several forms, just choose the one that is most understandable for your addressee. Doctors are a good role model: in most cases, they can always explain the diagnosis and treatment to their patients without resorting to medical terms.

The second condition for the correct understanding of your message is the use of precise wording that does not allow for other interpretations. By the way, this is especially important for business communication, so build your messages clearly, clearly and economically, because in the business world time is a very valuable thing. Do not use too complex and ornate constructions, typical of artistic speech: in business communication they make it difficult to understand, may cause bewilderment and even irritation in your interlocutor. But it’s not worth descending to the level of “Well, like, in short ...”, of course.

You can object to me: read the business documents, they, with all your desire, cannot be called simple and uncomplicated. Yes, this is true, because in such documents it is necessary to reflect all the smallest details in order not to lose sight of anything. However, do not forget about the difference in the perception of written and oral speech. It is much more difficult to perceive complex constructions by ear: keep this in mind when building your messages.

A lot depends on the situation in which our communication takes place. It is clear that we talk differently with our friends than with colleagues. Yes, the main tone of communication at work is official. However, there are different situations in the working environment: it is one thing if you are talking with your colleague at lunchtime over a cup of coffee, and quite another if you are at a meeting in the manager's office. The line between formal and semi-official communication (in my opinion, a completely informal style of communication, even with colleagues, in the office is hardly acceptable; I think you agree with me on this issue) is very thin, which is why it is so easy to cross without even noticing this transition. However, it is highly undesirable to violate the boundaries of what is permitted, so watch yourself. Whoever you communicate with, carefully choose words, intonation, gestures that are appropriate for the occasion. My advice to you: if you are in doubt which communication style - formal or semi-formal - to use in a given situation, opt for the official style - so you will not be mistaken, and your messages will not sound out of place.

And a few more words about semi-official communication. As you know, requests and wishes can be expressed in direct form, but also indirectly. But did you know that requests expressed in an indirect form are usually more readily fulfilled? This is primarily due to the fact that a direct request is often perceived as an order, and who likes to be commanded, even at work? Interesting fact: according to statistics, a democratic leader uses an average of 5% of direct instructions when communicating with subordinates, but an authoritarian boss - up to 60%. In general, indirect communication is considered more polite. It is necessary, first of all, in small collectives. And where does the semi-official communication, you ask. The fact is that in an official setting such an indirect form of communication is by no means welcome, because, as you already know, here, first of all, accuracy is needed, which does not allow for other interpretations. However, nothing will prevent you from telling a colleague: “Something is noisy in the corridor” and “How quickly it got dark!” instead of "Close the door!" and "Turn on the light!".

It is unlikely that any of us practices magic, but we all know magic words from childhood, such as “thank you”, “please”, etc. Indeed, if they are not capable of working miracles, then they can improve any message. They cannot overload the statement, moreover, they are necessary, so use them in your messages. Expand your requests with their help, because a short request is perceived worse than a detailed request, since the first is again understood by many people as an order.

You and I have already talked about the fact that as often as possible addressing a person by his first name and patronymic is an effective psychological technique. Hence the conclusion: include in your message the name and patronymic of your listener. It is also good to start a statement with an appeal, because the sound of your own name makes the interlocutor alert and pay attention to what you say.

In the psychology of communication, there are such concepts as "I-statement" and "You-statement". I will give examples of such constructions: “Don’t talk to me in that tone!” and “When you talk to me in a raised voice, I feel offended. And I would like to find with you mutual language but in a normal setting. The first sentence is "You-statement", and the second, respectively, is "I-statement". You have already felt that the second message will be perceived by the interlocutor much best first, since the use of “You-statements” creates such a strong feeling that the speaker is right and at the same time the listener is wrong that it gives rise to only negative emotions: irritation, and even rage. Even if a person really behaves incorrectly, he will not like that the interlocutor pointed out this in such a categorical form. This is followed by a defensive reaction, which leads to conflict. Therefore, build your messages according to the principle: “I am a statement”: this allows you to defuse the situation and achieve a change in the position of the interlocutor, which is what you need.

And the last thing: never start your messages with words like “No”, “I disagree with you”, “You are wrong”, etc., as this will immediately cause the interlocutor to reject your further words, even if they are true. Respect your interlocutor, his point of view, be polite and friendly - and your messages will always hit the target!

Overcoming barriers

Have you ever wondered why some people are able to win over others, almost immediately gaining their trust and sympathy? And, at first glance, they do not do anything supernatural. Often this is due to a special charm, a certain charisma. In fact, these people use a number of psychological techniques, which, as a rule, are hidden from the interlocutor. We have already talked about many of them or will talk about them in the future. However, their main secret is the ability to overcome the barriers that inevitably arise in the process of communication, even if the participants in the communication already know each other. Let's also learn this skill - in the business world it is necessary.

The initial distrust of the interlocutor is inherent in every person on a subconscious level, regardless of his education and sociability. For communication to be successful and fruitful, you need to overcome this distrust. A good move is to compliment the interlocutor. A compliment will evoke positive emotions in a person and help form a positive attitude towards you of your interlocutor. However, the compliment must be done correctly, or, if you like, competently. Do not be surprised, because praising a person correctly is a whole art that you can learn if you wish. First, the compliment made by you should not resemble flattery. Secondly, it must be objective, i.e. not containing excessive exaggeration and mentioning qualities that the interlocutor does not actually have. Thirdly, and this is very important, your compliment should not be, as they say, on duty. It is also desirable that the thought expressed in it should not be of some general, abstract nature: when praising a person, emphasize something specific. For example, instead of saying "You look great!" say something like “What an elegant suit you have” or “How blue suits you” (such a hairstyle, oriental-style earrings - the options can be listed indefinitely, it is only important that what you say corresponds to the true state of affairs). In the latter cases, the effect of the compliment will be incomparably higher. A compliment is very effective. The following psychological moment works here: when your flattering words about him reach a person, he is pleased that not only you, but now those around him have learned about his merits. As a result, an arrangement appears for you as a source of positive emotions. And finally, how you express your praise to the interlocutor is very important: if this is done with an expression of sincere admiration in your voice and on your face, then consider that your compliment hit the target. And, of course, do not forget about a pleasant smile that expresses your sympathy for the interlocutor.

On your way to productive communication, there may be other obstacles, for example, an information barrier. Its essence is that you can talk about some things that are unknown or little known to your interlocutor. How to avoid the emergence of an information barrier in communication will be discussed in more detail in the next chapter, but for now, a general recommendation: take into account the circle of knowledge of your interlocutor. Naturally, in any communication, a situation may arise when you have to talk about something unfamiliar to the listener for the first time. And in business communication, such situations occur all the time, so always clearly explain your thought. Explain to the interlocutor the meaning of certain professional words and expressions. When you talk about some phenomenon unknown to a person, be sure to reveal its essence, not hoping that "it will do." Remember that the necessary comments in the course of presenting information do not take time from you and your interlocutor, on the contrary, they significantly save it.

In general, when the word “barrier” sounds in relation to communication, the language barrier immediately comes to mind. It is quite likely that you will happen to communicate at work with foreigners who may not know Russian well. (Communication with those who do not know the language at all, as a rule, proceeds through an interpreter). It may also turn out that you are far from fluent in the language of the person with whom you have to talk. How should one behave in such a situation? First, you will immediately face the question of choosing the language in which you will communicate. This moment is usually discussed, and I advise you to take the initiative of your interlocutor, as he will make a choice in favor of the language in which he will be most comfortable communicating. If you decide to communicate with him in Russian, then use neutral, the most common words. This is exactly the case when the grammar can be simple, even primitive, because the main thing is to be understood correctly. Be sure to pause between phrases so that your interlocutor has extra time to translate your words for themselves. Speak clearly, without swallowing endings, and do not slur.

When you communicate in the language of the interlocutor, do not hesitate to ask him again if you do not understand something. In this situation of communication, even frequent re-questions are appropriate. In the end, it will be much worse if you simply do not understand part of the conversation. If your interlocutor speaks so fast that you can't keep up with him, politely ask him to slow down his speech. Again, in this case, such a request will not be received with resentment, on the contrary, the person will gladly meet you halfway.

Another type of barrier is the noise barrier. Unfortunately, very often extraneous sounds interfere with successful communication. Your interlocutor and you are less able to hear what each other says. Therefore, if possible, choose a quiet place to talk. Do not even try to express important thoughts at a busy intersection or in a noisy cafe. Wherever you are with your interlocutor - indoors, in a car - be sure to eliminate sources of extraneous sounds: turn off the radio, tape recorder. In general, from the point of view of overcoming the noise barrier, the most suitable place for communication is a separate office.

Since we have touched on the physical side of the issue, let's talk about such an important thing as the distance between you and your interlocutor during a conversation. Rapprochement in the psychological sense is also facilitated by rapprochement in space. An excessively large distance signals to the interlocutor that you are trying to isolate yourself from him, not to let yourself in, and this, of course, will negatively affect the quality of your communication with him. So, get close, you ask? No, because by such actions you can grossly violate a person’s personal space, which will cause a defensive reaction in him, and, ultimately, all this will again negatively affect communication. Therefore, when choosing the size of the distance between yourself and the interlocutor, remember the following point. A person's personal space is divided into three zones: social (in this zone we communicate with strangers or unfamiliar people), personal (in it we maintain contact with people close to us) and intimate (communication in this zone implies physical contact between interlocutors). It is clear that business contacts are primarily characterized by communication in the social zone. It is difficult to determine the exact radius of this zone, because it depends both on the mentality and on the personal characteristics of a person. However, experts in the psychology of communication believe that the most acceptable distance ranges from 0.9–1.3 m.

Of course, you will not stand with a centimeter during a conversation, so carefully monitor the reaction of your interlocutor to your movements. If a person is nervous, takes closed poses (arms crossed on the chest, for example), steps back, then most likely you are rapidly approaching the border of his personal space, and I do not advise breaking them. But when your interlocutor himself makes attempts to get closer, do not reject them, but go forward.

And the last thing I want to say. Do not create barriers between yourself and your interlocutor on purpose. That is, while talking, you may not have deliberately taken such a position in which there is some kind of bulky object between you, but the quality of your communication with a person will drop sharply. If you and your interlocutor are sitting at the table, then it should not be cluttered; it is better if there are no things on it at all that are not related to the subject of your conversation. Don't twist anything by hand. But if the interlocutor put a bag on the table or put some other things, politely offer him to move them, for example, to a chair. Perhaps, in this case, your interlocutor wanted to isolate himself from you, and you should not allow this.

As you can see, overcoming the barriers that arise during communication, in general, does not require significant efforts, but it gives significant results!

Active listening

It is probably no secret to anyone that the ability to patiently and carefully listen to the interlocutor is one of the most important guarantees of successful communication. Patient listening allows you to quickly win over a person. From a psychological point of view, this fact is explained by the fact that the speaker satisfies his need for self-expression, and the listener, therefore, is a source of positive emotions, therefore, he receives favor from the speaker. The culture of communication and speech etiquette also requires adherence to the principle of attentive listening when communicating. In addition, as already mentioned in the chapter "Self-study", listening to the words of the interlocutor, you can get a lot of useful information for myself. You and I already know a lot about how to speak correctly, and now it is time to learn how to listen to the interlocutor correctly. One of the main rules is that listening should be active. What does this mean?

As you already know, for successful and effective communication, you must constantly show your interlocutor that you are, as they say, "in touch." However, for some reason, many people neglect this important principle, apparently believing that not interfering with the speaker is already good, but nothing more is needed. Some try to show attention to the interlocutor, occasionally assenting or nodding, often inappropriately. Such naive methods are, of course, erroneous and do not lead to anything good. I generally keep quiet about those who interrupt the interlocutor - there is no better way to create the worst impression about yourself in the eyes of a person, in particular, a business partner or manager.

To actively listen to the interlocutor, free your head from extraneous thoughts. Set yourself up for a conversation, for the fact that you should extract the most useful information from it. It is always better to position yourself in front of your interlocutor in order to be able to carefully observe his mouth and look into his eyes, and not at the window or at the door. With these simple tricks, you will show the speaker that you are interested in the conversation.

In no case should you stealthily glance at your watch and generally show impatience, because if a person feels that the interlocutor is only waiting for the moment to jump up and leave, he feels insulted and generally experiences a lot of unpleasant sensations that he automatically transfers to a bad listener, like to their source. Meanwhile, for successful and productive communication, first of all, you need to show the interlocutor his importance in your own eyes. It is impossible to do this if your thoughts are somewhere very far from the subject of conversation.

So, you tuned in to your interlocutor and prepared to listen to him, without interrupting, for as long as he needed to fully express his thought. However, active listening does not mean that you will be silent all the time like a fish. First, you must show the interlocutor that you are "in touch". This is achieved both through non-verbal means, such as affirmative nods, and through words like “Yes, of course”, “Of course you are right”, “I completely agree with you”, “I share your point of view”, etc. n. Naturally, these phrases should be pronounced when the speaker pauses in his speech. Secondly, you should ask the interlocutor questions related to the topic of conversation. Do not be afraid to clarify something, because by doing this you will show the speaker that you are listening carefully to him, that you are interested in the subject of the conversation itself. Finally, you will insure yourself that you will not understand any important things that are discussed in the conversation. Remember that the only person who doesn't ask questions is the one who doesn't listen.

What should be your questions? Since their goal is to clarify what the speaker has just said, in my opinion, the most acceptable formulation sounds something like this: “What exactly did you mean when you talked about this and that?”. Believe me, not a single person will refuse the pleasure of developing his thought in more detail, and you, in turn, in addition to receiving the explanations you need, leave a pleasant impression of yourself in the eyes of your interlocutor.

Use open-ended questions actively. These are questions designed in such a way that it is impossible to give a monosyllabic answer "yes" or "no" to them. Don't think it's hard to come up with this kind of question: their secret is that they should start with words like "what", "where", "when", "how", "who", "why", etc. Try asking yourself such a question, and you will see that it cannot be answered in monosyllables.

And remember, nothing is more annoying than empty questions and meaningless clarifications, because your interlocutor may think that you did not listen to him at all, and you already know what this is fraught with. By the way, in order to avoid this, it is quite acceptable to take notes on some individual moments of the conversation, write down instructions, provisions, recommendations. Not only will such records be useful to you in the future, just imagine what a sense of self-worth your interlocutor will experience.

An important rule of active listening is to pause before you say something in response. This pause may be quite small, only 5-10 seconds, but you will get several positive moments at once. First, you will have time to think about everything the speaker said and, accordingly, to better understand the meaning of his words. Secondly, you will again demonstrate to the speaker his importance in your eyes, because you will carefully consider everything that he said. Thirdly, by making such a pause, you avoid the danger of interrupting your interlocutor. Who knows, maybe he just paused to collect his thoughts. If you do not start talking immediately after your interlocutor has become silent, then in this case you give him the opportunity to calmly continue his reasoning, and this is very important, because, perhaps, nothing irritates a person more than interrupting him in mid-sentence. And finally, you have the opportunity to think about your answer more carefully, and, therefore, to formulate it more clearly.

On the pages of this book, the principle of mirroring has already been mentioned more than once, and this is not surprising, because it is one of the most effective psychological techniques. Mirroring at the level of active listening means retelling to the interlocutor his own thoughts, but in his own words. Such a retelling allows you to demonstrate to the speaker how important and interesting for you everything he said. In addition, until you are able to retell the interlocutor's point of view in your own words, you will not be able to fully understand everything that he wanted to convey to you. In what form should this be done? When your interlocutor finishes speaking, take the necessary pause and then say something like: "If I understand you correctly, then the essence of your words is as follows ..." and continue to say what exactly. Your interlocutor will be very pleased, and you will insure yourself against inaccuracies in understanding his words.

Often conversations between a manager and a subordinate take place in a situation of time pressure, which, however, is not surprising, given the crazy pace of work. In these cases, it is hardly worth returning his words to the interlocutor, because there is so little time, and such behavior can cause irritation in an impatient and hot person. Limit yourself to clarifying questions. In general, remember that no matter how little time you have, always try to listen to the person to the end, without interrupting his speech with remarks like “Yes, I understand, I understand!”, “I don’t have time now!” and the like, because it offends and humiliates the interlocutor. It is much better to say the following: “Sorry, but now I cannot listen to you, because I need to ... But such wonderful thoughts as yours cannot be left to yourself. When can we meet to discuss your ideas? By the way, by giving a person such a compliment, you kill his negative emotions in the bud.

Unfortunately, in life we ​​have to communicate with people who do not always arouse our sympathy. And if we can choose a circle of friends and acquaintances for ourselves, then we do not choose colleagues, management and business partners. However, the interests of the business should always be above all for you, so develop tolerance and goodwill towards all the people around you at work. This is the only way to achieve success in your professional life. Overcome your negativism in relation to any person, listen to him carefully and patiently. In no case do not treat anyone with disdain: remember that even a fool has something to say. The ability to listen and hear is a great art, and if you master it, you will have the widest opportunities for success and prosperity!

Non-verbal communication

According to statistics, only 7% of the information contained in the speech of the interlocutor, a person extracts from his words. He receives the rest of the information for himself from the so-called non-verbal components of communication. These include our gestures, facial expressions, posture, voice timbre, intonation, speech tempo, etc. The layout is as follows: approximately 55% of the information the listener extracts from the facial expressions, gestures, posture of the interlocutor, approximately 38% - from the sound of the voice, its intonation, timbre. Therefore, whatever you say to the interlocutor, he will take into account - consciously or most often unconsciously - first of all, it is the non-verbal components of your communication with him. This, by the way, explains the reasons for many failures in communication - it seems that you said everything correctly, but the effect of your words is zero or negative. Have you thought about how you said it, what were your intonation, posture, what did your face express? It may very well be that on a non-verbal level you sent signals to your interlocutor that were not conducive to communication.

Body language is much more difficult to control than the content of words, so by understanding the meaning of some basic gestures and postures, you can warn yourself against insincerity on the part of your interlocutor. The tongue can lie, but the body cannot. You can also learn to use the correct gestures and facial expressions when making contact, which will make your communication more effective.

Let's start with the posture that you take when talking. First of all, pay attention to the position of your arms and legs. Do not take the so-called closed postures, that is, do not cross your arms on your chest, do not cross your legs, do not clasp your fingers, and even more so do not clench them into fists. By the way, the last gesture can be perceived by your interlocutor as a manifestation of aggression. Always make sure that your arms and legs are open and your shoulders are wide apart when talking, this will show the person that you are comfortable with him and you trust him. If your interlocutor crossed his arms on his chest - this is the first signal that he does not accept your point of view, seeks to isolate himself from what you say to him. A very important indicator is the palms of the interlocutor. If the palms of a person are open, it means that he is not going to hide anything from you. He's in contact. But if your interlocutor stubbornly refuses to show you his open palms, you should doubt the sincerity of his words. Therefore, hands in a pocket or hands busy with something - a person can twist a pencil, fiddle with his clothes - a good reason to be wary: it is likely that they want to tell you about something only in general terms or even hide an important part of the information from you. Watching the interlocutor, do not forget about yourself: make sure that your palms are open, use the appropriate gestures. This will allow you to quickly achieve the trust and positive attitude of your interlocutor.

In the posture you take and in the gestures used, their focus on the interlocutor in the truest sense of the word plays an important role. To achieve a positive effect, slightly tilt your body forward towards the person you are talking to. Your hands should also be directed towards him, the toes of your shoes should “look” in his direction.

By the way, did you know that 65% of the conversation time the interlocutor's eyes will be riveted to your head? Therefore, her position is very important. For example, a head turned to the side (naturally, and a look) indicates a lack of interest in the subject of conversation, and your interlocutor, thus, may decide that neither his point of view, nor he himself interests you at all. Agree, it is difficult to imagine more effective method break contact and trust between people. To avoid this, you should keep your head slightly tilted back and slightly tilted to the side. Of course, it is almost impossible to freeze in one position, and it is not necessary. Show the interlocutor that you approve of his position by shaking your head slightly in time with his speech.

A lowered or tilted forward head is an indicator that the interlocutor is wary of your words. And if the tilt of the head is very low, such that you do not see the eyes of the interlocutor, this means. That he perceives your position with hostility.

Here we are with you and got to the eyes, or rather, to the look. It is not for nothing that folk wisdom says that the eyes are the mirror of the soul: a lot can be understood by the nature of the look. For example, if a person hides his gaze or diligently looks away, he seeks to hide something from you or his words are insincere. You probably do not want such an impression to form about you, so look the interlocutor in the eye, catch his eye. But here it is important not to overdo it: too long and staring can be regarded as a threat or as a desire to dominate the conversation. You don’t need either the first or the second, so from time to time look at something else. By the way, with this action you will allow not only the eyes of your interlocutor to rest, but also your own. However, when you talk about important and fundamental things, look the person in the eye, otherwise he may get the impression that you are talking about something insignificant.

A smile will make everyone brighter... The words of a children's song are absolutely true - a smile is one of the simplest and at the same time effective means to establish contact and inspire confidence in the interlocutor. Of course, you cannot count on the fact that by smiling at a person, you will immediately achieve everything you want. However, it’s quite possible to win favor with a smile. An important point: a smile should always be in place. As you understand, the second rule follows from this: do not smile during the entire conversation, as this can cause a wide variety of negative feelings in the interlocutor, such as irritation, alertness or distrust. They may also think of you that you are a frivolous person and it is not worth doing business with you. Principle three: Your smile must be sincere, because there is nothing worse than an on-duty grin. By the way, how exactly should you smile? For example, Americans smile from the top of their mouths, demonstrating dazzling teeth and affection for the interlocutor. In my opinion, such a smile does not quite correspond to the Russian mentality. My advice: smile with the upper edges of your lips.

Concluding the speech about the mouth, I want to say: if your interlocutor covers his mouth with his palm when he speaks, or brings a handkerchief to his mouth (of course, if he is not sick with a cold), then he is deliberately hiding something from you, as if subconsciously putting up a barrier for their words. Therefore, do not cover your mouth with anything at the time of the conversation.

For some reason, many people do not pay attention to the intonation with which they speak. Perhaps they think that what they say is more important than how they say it. But you already know that this opinion is wrong. Intonation is the most important component of non-verbal communication. She should always be benevolent; notes of causticity or irritation are unacceptable in her. Your intonation must be carefully controlled during a conversation.

I would like to say a few words about the timbre of your voice. Your voice should be pleasant to hear. Even if the sound of your voice does not quite suit you. Do not be upset: it is in your power to correct everything and develop a pleasant voice. During a conversation, there should be no sharp changes in the timbre of the voice from a scream to a whisper. Of course, some words need to be highlighted, but the selection with the help of voice should be smooth. What you say should ideally sound even and not too loud. In no case should the timbre of your voice be shrill or shrill - after all, you yourself know that people with such a timbre not only don't want to listen - you just want to run away from them.

For communication to be successful, you need to monitor the emotional state of your interlocutor, and it is fully reflected in his gestures, facial expressions and movements. Therefore, if you see that your interlocutor begins to adjust his glasses, pull his clothes, fiddle with a handkerchief or napkin, twist a pencil or a lighter, draw conclusions: he is excited or in a nervous state. In such situations, before continuing to speak, you need to remove his emotional stress, try to calm him down.

A little about facial expressions. Nothing good can be said about a face that has frozen like a mask, as well as about grimacing. Hence the conclusion: do not overdo it with facial expressions! When talking, your eyebrows should not crawl up, and your eyes should not climb on your forehead, because in business communication this is simply inappropriate. In no case do not move your eyebrows and do not frown your forehead - this will simply repel your interlocutor. In general, the best facial expression is a smile.

So, you briefly got acquainted with the basic elements of non-verbal communication. Their knowledge and use in communication greatly facilitates contact. However, remember that gestures should be used in moderation, with all the control over the posture and movements, the latter should look natural. Do not make sharp, jerky movements - everything should be smooth.

And, finally, do not forget that a friendly facial expression, a pleasant look of an energetic and friendly person are also components of non-verbal communication that should always be with you!

Good to get to know you better

With whom it is useful to get to know better, you ask me after reading the title of this chapter. Answer: with your immediate supervisor. Such an acquaintance, of course, does not imply that you will start to become his bosom friends, but this is useful for your contacts with him. As you already know, one of the main principles of successful communication is focusing on the personality of the addressee, and in order to follow this principle, you need to study this personality well. In addition, we have already talked about the importance of emulating the leader. Again, you can only imitate the behavior of someone you know well. What ways and means do you have for studying the personality of a leader?

The first, and perhaps one of the most accessible and at the same time effective methods is an observation. Keep an eye on your leader all the time: when he gives you orders, when you report to him about the work done, when he just walks by along the corridor. Notice even the smallest details. To date, there is a lot of literature on sale devoted to how to find out the characteristics of a person’s character by his manner of dressing, by color and taste preferences, by gait, even by facial features! Of course, no knowledge is superfluous, and you can understand something for yourself from this information, however, it is necessary to distinguish completely reliable and pseudo-scientific information from each other. In my opinion, it is not worth wasting precious time analyzing the shape of your boss's nose and eye color or looking at what exactly is on his plate. I think it would be much more effective to study his habits and inclinations, which just include the style of clothing, gait, the choice of colors for decorating the office, and then, on this basis, draw some conclusions about his characteristic features.

Also, observing the leader will allow you to understand, for example, whether he is an energetic person. If so, you should always be cheerful and cheerful. If he is a serious person by nature and a smile on his face is an infrequent phenomenon, then it is advisable for you to smile less often when communicating with him, since it is likely that he may perceive your smiles as a manifestation of frivolity, which does not fit into the image of an executive and responsible employee. If your boss is a super-punctual person, you should come to work early so that he notices and appreciates it. As you probably already guessed, the secret of such techniques is simple: you need to show in your behavior traits that are highly appreciated in the eyes of your leader, since subconsciously a person develops an affection for someone who looks like him. It is even easier to recognize these very traits: they dominate the character of your boss, because he considers them important and necessary for successful professional activity and wants to see them in the characters of his subordinates.

The second, most effective way to study the personality of your immediate supervisor is to communicate with him, since it is in a conversation that a person reveals himself most fully. I note that it is difficult to separate communication and observation from each other, because, communicating with the boss, you do not stop observing his behavior. So, the first thing you should pay attention to is the way your boss communicates with his subordinates. Which principle - authoritarianism or democracy - is leading? This is easy to understand. Be sure to watch how he talks to your colleagues, because in this situation, firstly, you will be more objective, because you look at the process of communication from the outside, and secondly, you may notice a difference in his communication, for example, with you and with your colleague. Of course, such a difference is inevitable if your leader is a good psychologist: then he approaches each person from the point of view of his individual traits. Focus your attention on the following: to whom does he listen more, whose opinion he values ​​​​higher? If not yours, do not be upset: look at your more successful colleague in turn and think about the reasons for his success, what is so special about him, what do you have so far! - No. And then develop in yourself that very vigor, or enthusiasm, and maybe hard work or the ability to listen, judging by the situation. Of course, it's not always easy, but it's worth all the effort. And the general recommendation is this: having recognized the manner of communication of your boss with subordinates, accept his rules of the game: comments are superfluous here.

What else can you learn for yourself from communication with the leader? Almost everything, I will answer, and I can hardly be mistaken. For example, you will soon learn to immediately recognize the emotional state of your boss by his non-verbal behavior, because, in addition to general gestures and postures, the interpretation of which is unambiguous, each person has his own unique movements that he involuntarily performs when he is upset, irritated or vice versa, inspired. Knowing this, you can decide whether you can express your thoughts to the boss or if you should wait with it, and you will not be mistaken. During the contact, you will again get the opportunity to judge whether he is ready to receive your information or whether he has withdrawn into himself and will not return soon; whether he accepts or rejects your point of view, and properly build your communication with him.

In the lexicon of every person there are crown words and expressions, and your boss is no exception in this sense. Some of them are good for you to know, and not only to know, but sometimes - not too often - to insert into your speech. Here again, the psychological moment already known to you works: a person is drawn to those people who are somewhat similar to him.

And how does your boss approach solving professional problems: does he give one order with detailed explanations, or does he offer several "draft" options to choose from? Depending on this, you should behave accordingly: gush with different ideas or offer the boss for consideration one option, thought out to the smallest detail.

Listen carefully to your leader, thinking carefully about his words. The necessity and usefulness of this has already been said several times; how to listen correctly, you also know. I will only add that it is precisely attentive, interested and active listening that is a quick and reliable way to find out a person’s personality, his mindset, to understand how he lives.

When talking to your boss, remember the good old principle of mirroring. Mirroring should go on at every level - emotional, intonational, thematic, non-verbal. Of course, it will be easier for you to implement it when you study well the communication style of your interlocutor, in this case, your boss.

Examine the strengths and weaknesses of the leader's character. Attention: I do not urge you to manipulate your boss. Just when communicating in every possible way unobtrusively emphasize its advantages, because, as we have already said, a good compliment should have real grounds, and not express some general positive meaning without reference to reality. It is clear that the weaknesses of your boss's character are not worth mentioning.

The main thing is that your observation should not be in the nature of total surveillance: no one will like this.

You have another source of information about your manager - this is information about him given out by your colleagues. It would seem an invaluable source of information, especially if you have recently worked in this institution. However, be careful: such information can not always be trusted. Unfortunately, they are often generously diluted with their own opinions and various conjectures, and generally border on gossip. Therefore, listen to the words of others, but draw your own conclusions! Of course, it is good if you are confident in the person from whom you learned certain facts, however, if you are new to the team, the probability of determining the reliability of a person is very small. Also filter any information in terms of its value in terms of how much it will help you in learning about the personality of your boss. Do not collect gossip and in no case become their source! The fact that you know a lot about the character of the leader is not a reason to tell everyone about him in a row: the consequences can be unpredictable, up to and including dismissal.

In general, getting to know the leader better, you will get many advantages, and they are never superfluous on the way to success!

Who doesn’t want relationships at work to be kind and mutually agreeable, not only with colleagues, but, perhaps, first of all, with superiors. Otherwise, no job will be a joy, and you can forget about career advancement.

And very often we ourselves are to blame for the undeveloped relationship with the boss: somewhere we couldn’t restrain ourselves and showed unnecessary emotions, somewhere we said too much ... So what mistakes in relations with the boss are unacceptable if you value your work and dream of a promotion?

First of all, remember immediately and forever - in a conversation with the boss, never raise your voice! Even if he himself screams, and at the same time he is completely wrong, even if your patience is running out - do not scream. In order not to accidentally break into a sharp conversation, focus on your condition, take a deep breath and start silently counting to ten or until you need to fully control yourself. Patiently wait until the boss calms down and better not argue, otherwise, in the power of emotions, you will definitely say something that you will later regret. Emotions pass, but words remain in memory.

If you are a good specialist, have rich work experience, then it is clear that you have your own opinion on the various topics discussed. production issues. And it is quite possible that it may not coincide with the opinion of the boss. This is normal, especially since bosses can make mistakes. If you see such a mistake, do not be afraid to tell about it, but remember - you need to do this only in private, in the presence of other colleagues or strangers, pointing out shortcomings, errors or shortcomings to the leader is unacceptable.

In addition, when expressing your opinion or position on a particular issue, you should not be limited only to stating a fact - your opinion must be well-reasoned. If you do not have enough arguments, it is better to remain silent and finalize the question, and only then express your opinion.

Do not engage in intrigues, do not discuss the decisions and instructions of the authorities with your colleagues. Even if it seems to you that any task or instruction is inappropriate or erroneous, then discuss it, first of all, with your boss, arguing your position. But, in case of disagreement, you must comply with the order without showing displeasure and, moreover, without commenting on it publicly.

It also happens that many employees diligently avoid contact with their superiors as much as possible. Even if they do not understand the task, or have current questions, they are embarrassed to come up for clarification, fearing that they will be considered incompetent or dull. This is a fundamental mistake! Be sure to ask everything that you do not understand or need for the job, otherwise, if you complete the task, but present the wrong option to the boss, he will doubt your professionalism even more.

And always be careful: watch your leader, try to understand what kind of person he is, how he treats other employees. Such an observation will enable you to better understand that. how your boss shapes his relationships with people in principle, which is important for understanding how you behave.

What do you feel when you are going to report to your leader? Fear? Uncertainty in your abilities?

Communication with the leader is not taught in schools, but in this subject we all have to take an exam when we start our careers. And failing that exam could cost you your career.

Personally, my experience in how to report to my boss came later, when I myself became a leader and realized how clumsy reports are made by subordinates if no one taught them.

And if you are a leader yourself, then simply send your subordinates a link to this article. Even better - collect them, scroll through the slides that you see above, and go through the abstracts from the article. The result will be the establishment of a set of common rules between you, the observance of which will make your communication more effective to your mutual satisfaction.

Before talking to the manager

1. Report without reminders

“I can't be everyone's secretary and constantly remind them of deadlines. Sometimes it seems to me that people just ignore the tasks and deadlines that I set for them. ”

your boss thinks.

Don't turn your boss into a living alarm clock. Don't force your manager to go down to the level of micromanagement and remind you of due dates.

If the task is not ready, write to him about it yourself with a brief explanation of the reasons and a new deadline. It is better to show that you did not have time to complete the task than to give him a reason to think that you ignored the task altogether by the lack of a report.

If the task is ready and you have something to brag about, then ask for a meeting and show your results.

2. Don't keep your problems to yourself.

“If I was not informed about the problem in advance, then it does not exist and the task must be completed on time.”

your boss thinks.

When you keep the problem to yourself, you deprive your manager of the opportunity to intervene and help you in time. In addition, if you do not report the problem in time, then you do not need help and you can handle your task on your own.

When should you report a problem? When you realized that she would not let you complete the task on time or in accordance with the set standard. After that, you tried to solve it yourself and you did not succeed. Then, not earlier and not later, go to your boss and ask for help.

3. Don't come unprepared

“When a person cannot answer me a single counter question, doubts arise, but has he delved into the task properly or is he trying to dump me a semi-finished product?”

your boss thinks.

Work through in advance all the questions that you may be asked, all alternative solutions to the problem. Be prepared to explain how the numbers you bring are obtained and why they are correct.

Otherwise, you will irritate the boss and be sent for revision - you will lose your reputation and time.

4. Plan your conversation

It only takes a minute, but it brings a lot of benefits. As a rule, it turns out to get to the head less often than we would like, so several questions accumulate for each conversation, and this list will allow you not to forget anything.

Take a blank sheet of paper and write down what you want from this conversation. There are 4 types of such goals:

1. Convey the information he wants to know: report on completed tasks, deadline shifts, important news, etc.
2. Convey the information you want him to know: compliance with the deadlines, your initiatives and proposals, the problems that have arisen and the necessary assistance.
3. Get information that will be useful to you: clarification of the task, news of subcontractors, statuses of issues important to you.
4. Get a solution for your issue.

If a question is difficult to understand or you expect it to cause controversy, write down the thesis of the logic of your report on it - your arguments and conclusions.

When reporting to the manager

The usual report algorithm: tell the purpose of the conversation, give data, give conclusions, give solutions, give your recommendation.

5. No preludes

"Is this still 'getting in contact' or do I need to 'get it' on what he's saying?"

your boss thinks.

Immediately say directly what you need: “I want to report on the results”, “there is a problem”, “need to be solved”, “need to agree”, “there is a question”, etc.

The leader must tune his mind to correct mode: "I solve the problem", "I accept the results", "I make the decision", etc. Until he tunes in correctly, he will not be able to effectively perceive your information.

6. He is not Nostradamus

“He didn’t even bother to ask if I was aware of this topic or not. Is this selfishness or incompetence?

your boss thinks.

Think about what your boss knows and doesn't, and bring him up to date. Until he is in the same context with you, you will not be able to effectively communicate.

Do not skip logical links. The "storyline" of your story should be continuous. If something is taken for granted for you, it is not at all a fact that your manager is obliged to guess about the logical connection that you decided to skip.

7. Take out the trash

“Why should I dig through this verbal garbage? Why couldn’t a coherent report be prepared ahead of time?”

your boss thinks.

Remove from your narrative all information that is not relevant. This includes information that is relevant to the case but is unverified or inconclusive. You run the risk of sidetracking the conversation or overcomplicating it.

Determine what decision of the leader you need and exclude from the report that information that does not bring you closer to him. Of course, it is important to know the measure at the same time - it is unacceptable to distort or manipulate information.

8. More numerals, fewer adjectives

“I really want my subordinates to rely on facts, and not on judgments and emotions. To do this, they must get used to communicating in the language of numbers.

your boss thinks.

Statements that are not provided with numbers sound unfounded. Until concrete figures and facts begin to sound in a conversation, people just exchange subjective judgments, not one iota approaching the truth.

If you want to convince your manager of something, the shortest way to this is through the preparation of analytics. The most amazing thing is that the figures obtained can surprise you and change your own judgment on the issue under discussion.

9. Be specific and transparent

“It’s like I have to pull the answers out of employees with pincers in order to achieve a complete understanding of the situation. Are they hiding something or just didn’t go into the details themselves?”

your boss thinks.

In response to the question "when" give the date. To the question "who" - give a name. To the question "how much" - a number: quantity, amount or percentage. The sooner you give specific data, the sooner you will end this protracted conversation.

10. Don't give data without conclusions

“And why do I need this bunch of tables? Did he try to figure them out himself, or does he not care about this issue at all?

your boss thinks.

It's not the numbers that matter, but your ability to draw conclusions from them.

A good employee is an independent employee. After all, if you understand that after receiving the data there will be an analysis stage, and after the analysis - decision-making, then why not try to go through this road yourself?

Throwing off the initial data without conclusions to the boss, then you tell him "now this is your problem." And, of course, no one likes it. A much better approach would be "I understand that this is my problem, and here's how I try to solve it."

11. Don't show up without offers.

“If I now come up with a solution for him, then he will be in my “manual control” all my life. Let him learn to think with his own head.

your boss thinks.

As the proverb says, “If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.” Always come not only with a problem, but also with suggestions for its elimination. Preferably in multiple versions.

Let your manager only have to approve your idea. Let him see that he has a motivated independent employee.

12. Don't leave without a decision

"I'm tired. I do not want to decide anything. I want a bonus."

your boss thinks.

You came to get a solution (see point 4). .

But making decisions is not easy. Your boss will avoid it. Keep your goal in mind and bring the conversation back to the decision.

In case of counter questions from the head

13. Answer the question in your first sentence

“Well, why do I need these jumps and antics? I ask a specific question and want a specific answer. If something is not clear to me, I will ask the next question. No need to waste time trying to answer questions I didn't ask."

your boss thinks.

If the boss asks a question, then, as a rule, he already understands in advance what and in what order he will ask next. He has already built for himself the outline of the conversation and wants to lead the conversation in this way.

No need to try to think out his question for himself and answer the question that he did not ask, but which, as you think, he means. Answer the question literally. All the details, reasons and logical explanations - later. If asked.

14. The truth and nothing but the truth

“Can I, in principle, work with a person who is trying to deceive me? After all, he not only demonstrates his insecurity by trying to lie to me, but also stupidity, hoping that I will not catch him in a lie.

your boss thinks.

No need to invent anything in an attempt to answer a difficult question. There is no need to draw reality when there are no facts. You will still be taken to clean water. It's much easier and faster to admit that you don't know or haven't done something and move on.

15. Don't Blame Your Subordinates

“If a person does not understand that he is responsible to me for the actions of his subordinates, then this is a clinical case. We have a hierarchy. I answer to my boss for all my subordinates, and they answer to me for theirs.

your boss thinks.

The task is assigned to you, and you are also responsible for it. You can delegate the task to your subordinates, but this does not relieve you of responsibility for its implementation. Delegation creates an additional relationship of responsibility between you and your subordinate, but your original responsibility to your boss does not disappear.

16. Don't waste time making excuses.

“The more I listen to excuses, the more my subordinates will hope that I can get rid of a beautiful story in the absence of a result.”

your boss thinks.

If your boss is result-oriented, then the reasons for his absence (especially those that are revealed only at the time of the report - see paragraph 2) are of little interest to him.

Therefore, do not waste time on excuses - it is better to spend it on completing your task.

When receiving a task

17. Questions at once

If in response to your report you received another task, and something in it is not clear to you, immediately ask questions. It's better to look stupid when you get a task than when you turn it in by doing the wrong thing.

Conclusion

As you can see, the listed rules are quite simple and even somewhat obvious. However, in my experience, there are very few people who systematically perform them - this requires courage and self-discipline. Try to stick to them, and, believe me, the trust and support of the leadership are provided to you.

See also:

• 18 tips on how to overcome tension and fear in dealing with superiors.
• Owner and manager: how to avoid conflicts. Manager's advice.

What is the most difficult thing for you in communicating with the leader?

No employee likes it when the manager calls on the carpet. On the way to the office, there is one question in my head, why did the boss need me? The conversation with the boss occurs when new tasks are issued or the analysis of the work performed. A call to the boss makes even an impeccable employee worry and get nervous. As a result, the conversation is confused and unprofessional. This is how most people treat their boss. Why we are shy in front of the boss and how to talk to the boss to impress.

Why is there a barrier between superiors and subordinates?

It is disgusting to watch from the outside when a colleague cannot connect even two words at a meeting, presenting a report to the manager. Where does your bravado go when it comes to you? Stumbling, blushing, forgetting to argue with facts and research. Do not assume that you are a strange person. This is how most subordinates behave and the reason is not a lack of knowledge or inability to communicate. The reason is that they think differently, hence the barrier arises.

A leader makes dozens of decisions every day. Each of them affects the profit of the company. Therefore, the nature of the boss and the attitude to the matter has changed. He does not hesitate and does not waste time on empty talk. The task of the boss is to give the task to the subordinate, and then demand an intelligible answer. Make decisions based on the data received. Subordinates are not used to this, so the thinking is different. To reduce this barrier, try to put yourself in the shoes of a leader. This is not only a prestigious position and an increase in salary, but also a responsibility.

The boss has a certain amount of time allocated for each question, so do not take it away with empty conversations and reports. Argue the data and think over possible questions from the authorities. Then a professional and productive conversation will develop between you.

The main thing is to learn how to talk briefly and to the point. Do not take away your working time, colleagues and manager. Do not forget that business conversation is welcome at work. This does not mean that you have to be a robot that speaks with a metallic voice. Jokes, funny stories are appropriate if they are told in free time and do not offend those present.

What is the right way to talk to your boss?

1. Do not mumble and do not chatter. Imagine that you have a colleague in front of you, and not a harsh boss. Express your thoughts in a consistent, calm and even tone. Many employees, trying to quickly get rid of the conversation with the boss, quickly make a report. As a result, nothing is clear. Another extreme is when a person constantly strays, mumbles.

   Read your report aloud several times before crossing the boss's office.

2. Prepare for a conversation. Come to the boss's office with a notepad and pen to write down the boss's instructions. Prepare for a conversation. If the conversation takes place on your initiative: improving the workflow, transferring responsibilities to another employee, then provide the boss with arguments and benefits why this should be done.
3. Stay confident. The task of a subordinate is not only to accept tasks and perform them flawlessly. You have your own thoughts on the organization of the process. Share ideas with your boss. If the boss did not understand and did not appreciate, then do not rush to end the conversation. Think about how to influence the opinion of the leader. Do not consider yourself a loser right away, defend your opinion to the end.

Always and the rules of communication in the office. If it is customary to speak to the boss in “you” and call by name and patronymic, then do not change the rules. The boss is not your closest friend, but the person on whom the level of salary and working conditions depend. Therefore, poking will be inappropriate.

How to talk to a tyrant boss?

Not everyone is lucky with an understanding and fair boss. Many employees complain about the boss, who does not appreciate the work of his subordinates, always grumbles, is dissatisfied with something. Such a leader can leave overtime at work, reprimand for a perfect report, raise his voice in front of everyone. Such a leader is called a tyrant. As a rule, he recently took a leadership position and a month ago got along well with the team. It is impossible to correct such a person, so you need to learn how to get along with him at work. How to talk to a tyrant boss?

1. . When you are rude, it is difficult to restrain yourself, you want to give a couple of offensive remarks in response. If the leader is a tyrant, then switching to shouting will ruin the situation. It will heat up to the limit, shouting to the truth, you will not reach it. Leave the chief's office under any pretext, wait for the boss to cool down, and return to the conversation. This does not mean that one should silently swallow such an attitude. When submitting the assignment, note that the task was completed and it is not necessary to talk to you, raising your voice.
2. Connect your imagination. The best way to relieve internal tension is to present the leader in a funny role or situation. If you feel that you are boiling over, but you don’t want to lose your job, then imagine that the boss is dressed in a jester costume. Or imagine that everyone is sitting on chairs in suits, and your boss is in funny pajamas and a sleeping cap. This method helps to relax and let off steam.

   Don't let your boss humiliate you and don't become a victim. There are employees who adopt the following tactics: indulge in tyranny in everything, fulfill any requirements, rush at the first call. As a result, they move up the career ladder and occupy leadership positions. But such a person does not develop working relationships with subordinates. After all, the team remembers how the chair of the head was earned.