Can a man fall in love after 50? Midlife crisis: when everything is there, but ''everything is not right''

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After 50 years, men undergo a number of changes in their bodies. This also affects health. Often at this age, potency decreases, and the representatives of the stronger sex are looking for a way out of this situation. Read on to find out how to maintain sexual health in middle age.

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Life of men after 50 years

In the classification of the World Health Organization, the average age is 44-60 years.

A number of changes occur in the life of a middle-aged man.

1) Physiological changes.

  • There is an increase in sensory thresholds and a decrease in the sensitivity of the body. As a result, there are problems with vision and hearing.
  • The metabolic rate decreases, which leads to weight gain.
  • The volume of the brain decreases. There are memory problems. The ability to learn is markedly reduced.
  • The blood supply is reduced, which leads to a general decline in physical strength.

2) Psychological changes.

A man focuses on relationships with close people: family and friends. Children leave the family and the house becomes a safe haven, and relationships with the woman they love develop into a habit.

Partnerships are formed with parents and children. By the age of 50, a man, as a rule, is experiencing the death of one of his parents, and becomes psychologically stronger.

Features of the behavior of a man after 50 years fit into two models:

  • Adult humility.

He gets used to the existing standards and norms in society, he is ready to take responsibility for his actions. Physical strength for him ceases to be a criterion of masculinity, and preference is given to mental development. Relations with women are built not only on sex, but also on the basis of psycho-emotional intimacy.

  • Fight with age.

A man feels the approach of old age. He has a feeling of unfulfilled goals. He wants to regain his youth. A stable family life brings boredom, as a woman plunges into the chores of children and grandchildren, forgetting about her husband. Sex becomes a marital duty for her, and a man does not like this situation, he wants pleasure and freedom. He loses interest in his woman. Therefore, a significant part of divorces falls on middle-aged couples.

Reasons for the decrease in potency

Physiological changes affect not only the psychological state, but also the sexual life of men.

Among the main causes of problems with potency are:

  • Decreased production of testosterone hormone.

In men after 50 there is a so-called androgen deficiency.

Androgen deficiency is a low level of testosterone in the body, which leads to a number of consequences:

  1. Disorders of sexual function (impotence, decreased sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, ejaculation disorders).
  2. Somatic disorders (enlargement of the mammary glands, decrease in muscle mass and bone density).
  3. (reddening of the skin of the face, neck, increased fatigue, weakening of memory and attention).

  • Narrowing of blood vessels, as a result of which blood flow in them slows down, which leads to a deterioration in potency.
  • Cardiovascular diseases. With age, the efficiency of the muscles of the heart decreases, as a result of which blood flow to the genitals worsens.
  • Diseases of the genital area (prostatitis, urethritis, etc.).

How to increase testosterone in the body

1) Sleep normalization.

Healthy sleep contributes not only to the general improvement of the body, but also to the improvement of testosterone production. With age, sleep functions are disturbed, which, in turn, leads to problems with potency. To normalize sleep, men over 50 are recommended to:

  • Eliminate the effect of noise interference and light stimuli on sleep. To do this, use earplugs and a sleep mask.
  • Get rid of overly warm bedspreads and blankets.
  • Use a pillow too.
  • Ventilate the room regularly before going to bed to achieve optimal temperature 18–21 °С.
  • , alcohol consumption and smoking.
  • Sleep without underwear.

2) Change in diet.

After 50 years, energy consumption and metabolism in the body decrease. As a result, a person moves less and eats more. Therefore, in order to maintain a normal level of testosterone production, a man needs to pay attention to nutrition. For this you should:

  1. Get rid of high-calorie foods in the daily menu.
  2. Switch to a safe diet.
  3. Start taking vitamins daily in a balanced way.

There are a number of products that are strictly prohibited for those who care about their health in middle age. Among them:

  • Synthetic fats and fast food products.
  • Fatty meats and lard.
  • Alcohol.
  • Smoked products, pickles and preservatives.
  • Semi-finished products and offal.
  • Beverages containing caffeine and carbonated drinks.
  • Spicy dishes.

3) Weight normalization.

Metabolic disorders in middle age often lead to excess weight, which in turn affects the production of testosterone in the body. Therefore, to control weight, doctors recommend regular physical activity up to three workouts per week. A prerequisite is the inclusion of strength exercises in the program.

Medicines to increase potency

Modern medicine has in its arsenal a lot of tools that can restore potency. Among them there are both medical preparations and special devices.

All medications for potency can be divided into two groups:

  1. Drugs that are designed to restore potency and improve sexual function.
  2. Means for the prolongation of sexual intercourse.

In addition to drugs, experts have developed a number of devices that can improve potency. According to the mode of action, they are divided into:

  • Devices that imitate nerve impulses and act on the nerve endings of the genital organs.
  • Stimulating the prostate.
  • Vacuum devices that increase blood flow to the genitals.
  • Apparatus for training and strengthening the pubic and perineal muscles, improving blood circulation.

Before using any medication, be sure to consult your doctor.

Eating the Right Foods

Among the products that have a beneficial effect on male potency, there are:

  • Honey and bee products that improve metabolism in the body.

Apitherapy - treatment with bee products is recommended by both official and traditional medicine.

  • Bitter chocolate containing endorphins. The latter are not only considered hormones of happiness, but also increase sexual desire.
  • Vegetable oils that contain vitamin E, necessary to maintain hormonal balance in the body of a man.
  • Seafood, minerals and salts of which are important for the production of sex hormones.

All ages are submissive to love - this is what a popular proverb says, and, indeed, many people manage to meet their soulmate not in their youth. Can a man fall in love at 50 and what does affection mean for the stronger sex at this stage of life?

How does a man fall in love after 50 and is he able to leave his family for a new attachment? It seems to many young girls and boys that people who have crossed a half-century milestone are not capable of passionate love. But this is not so. Middle-aged men can easily fall in love completely unexpectedly for themselves and those around them.

When a person turns 50, he is usually married for a long time and has children and grandchildren. In life, everything is relatively stable and measured. But this is only an appearance. Psychologists say that around this period, men are experiencing a midlife crisis. In their hearts, they are still very young and want to love, to be loved, and relations with their wife have long lost their sharpness. The desire to feel the rush of adrenaline again appears in the lonely representatives of the stronger sex.

At 50, men, oddly enough, fall in love quite often. It's just that some manage to suppress it in themselves, and some give vent to feelings. Why is this happening? First of all, men want to prove to themselves that they are able to interest the opposite sex. That is why fifty-year-olds quite often choose as companions those who are much younger than them. After all, young and beautiful girl able to give self-confidence and exalt a person in the eyes of others.

At 50, men fall in love as if it were the last time in their lives. They are ready to give gifts, shower their loved ones with compliments. Most often, young girls are assigned the role of a mistress. If everything is fine in the family, mature men prefer to take a walk on the side, but not to break long-term ties, not to lose the trust of their own family. But feelings can be so strong that a person decides to divorce. It seems to him that it is the stamp in the passport and obligations to the family that prevent him from being happy.

When a man of age plunges headlong into a whirlpool of passions, he is capable of anything for the sake of his beloved. That is why many girls decide to have an affair with a chosen one over 50 years old. After all, he gives expensive gifts, skillfully cares, does not make the mistakes that peers are capable of. This is quite understandable. Fifty-year-old men have time to accumulate a certain life experience.

How promising are such relationships? This question cannot be answered unambiguously. But psychologists assure that the chance for happy life people who decide to become a couple at this age have, especially if the new marriage will not be unequal. At 50, people already know exactly what they want from life, what kind of woman they need.

If the love was spontaneous, and a young girl became the object of love, you should not count on the fact that the union will last for a long time. Most likely, a man after some time will understand that he felt more comfortable in his own family. In addition, the chosen one will show all aspects of her character, including flaws that no one had previously suspected. If a man becomes unbearable in a new relationship, he will try to return the old ones. And such cases are not uncommon. Very often, deceived wives are ready to accept the unfaithful husband back, especially if the family has minor children or the feeling of affection is very strong.

Men over 50 are capable of tender feelings and affection. They fall in love at this age quite often. For the sake of a new lover, they can leave the family, but, as a rule, very soon they begin to regret their deeds and try to return their legal spouse.

In youth, you want to try everything and experience new sensations, fall in love for the first time, go on dates, feel the taste of the first kiss, hold hands, give gifts, walk under the moon and enjoy life,

and then someday build a family. When a person is 20, he is filled with vital energy and craving for something new: work, travel, meeting friends. But what if you already have most of your life behind you? And the year of birth in the passport shows that the person is fifty years old. Psychological problems may lie in wait at an earlier age, but at fifty they are most acute. The psychology of men is again going through a transitional period, as in adolescence.


What is a man going through at this age? And how to help him? What you need to know about the psychology of a man at 50?


Feeling young and attractive, catching the admiring glances of the opposite sex - not only women, but also men dream of this, even after youth is left behind. When a wife walks by, who is also about fifty, she is no longer so sexy, in some places she swam fat, and the habits of her beloved are known far and wide, then I want to change my life partner.


Men are increasingly looking at young girls, sometimes they just need to look at them, remember their youth, their wife as she was before, but there is a type of male who wants not only to enjoy watching, but also to experience new feelings. By the age of fifty, some men decide to divorce and go to free bread.


How to avoid it? Everything is very simple, you need to arrange a second honeymoon, but before that, both spouses would be better off visiting the gym. If this is not possible, then go for an evening run. This will greatly strengthen the muscles, tighten the figure, improve health, and simply bring the husband and wife closer together.


Most families by this age are no longer burdened with small children, more often grandchildren. Better to spend more time with each other. After jogging, you can go on a trip, visit new places, go to a cafe or cinema. Forgotten feelings will return again, you don’t want to look for a passion on the side and walk away from your wife.


You need to talk to a man when he wants to. If the husband came home from work and is silent, it is better to give him a few minutes to move into a homely atmosphere, feel the warmth of the house and forget about the problems. Then he will tell you everything when he is ready. Heart-to-heart conversations are possible, but everything has its place and time.


Fifty years is a time for experimentation. Sex life is also important. Women go headlong into domestic problems, they help their children or already children with grandchildren, forgetting about themselves and their chosen one, and yet in their youth they so wanted to be alone and learn body language. Why, then, over the years, sex has become a duty, and a marital duty, and duty always repels, because it is an obligation, not a pleasure. It is necessary to turn sex life into a wonderful pastime - then no one wants to change their life partner.


By the age of fifty, women have their own hobbies, men have their own. He shouldn't be banned. If your new hobbies include fishing or hunting with friends, then you and your husband can try to choose a new fishing rod or gun, read articles, Interesting Facts, buy some books. New hobbies are very good, because a man at this age again becomes like a teenager and is in search of himself. All people are afraid of approaching old age. What are the parents of teenagers doing? They help with advice, instruct on the true path. How can you help a 50 year old? He, too, can stumble and make a mistake, but there will be no time left for corrections.


New hobbies can be accompanied by new friends. How to treat it? Women begin to forbid spouses to see new friends and spend time with them. Absolutely in vain. It is better to try to collect them in your house, to know better. And if the circle of acquaintances is not very suitable, then talk about it with your husband alone in a calm atmosphere, and not with screams and scandals. If the new hobbies of the husband suit the wife, then she should also start doing something else: knit, embroider, go to sing or play in an ensemble, learn to draw. Fifty is a great age to learn something new. But spouses need to communicate, tell each other about their defeats and successes, then they will become even closer.


If a man is single, he is a widower, divorced, or for some reason has not started a family, then the time has come. At this age, it is better not to have your own children, but it is quite possible to meet a woman who has a child. Here you can realize yourself both from the paternal side and from the male side, become a husband and support the family.


Males at this age must be treated with patience, the body is no longer like a twenty-year-old. He gets tired more often, forgets about some requests, but this does not mean that he has fallen out of love or cooled off, it's just the features of the body.


A woman needs to be patient and not reproach her chosen one for trifles, gently reminding him of what exactly he forgot. Reproaches destroy personal life and cause omissions, and men become irritable and touchy.


If a fifty-year-old man is offended, then you should talk to him, not even apologize, but just talk, and everything will work out by itself.


Often men understand that they are no longer boys, something has remained unfulfilled, some dreams have not come true, and life itself is not going the way it was dreamed about thirty years ago. They get depressed and start drinking. What to do in this case?


It is worth trying to talk heart to heart and show that there is still time to change something and bring it to life. Now is the time when loans are freely given in banks, so why not go somewhere or fulfill a dream. Oddly enough, but indeed many men begin to fall into binges or take illegal drugs, trying to forget in this way. We need to show them that fifty is the beginning of a new life, where you do not need to take care of small children, but surrender to new discoveries.


Support and support is what really matters. At this age, illnesses that dozed and woke up make themselves felt. The wife needs to monitor the intake of medicines for various diseases, remind her of this and smile more often at her beloved spouse. A smile does a lot.


  1. family of each spouse. Every person wants to help his family. The one he created and the one from which he came. You don't have to fight over this. It is worth defining the scope of assistance and trying to help both parties at any age.

  2. Children. Common children are always the cause of conflict, in youth the upbringing of children comes to the fore, at 50 and after - the upbringing of grandchildren. Children should be allowed to decide for themselves what to do and how to do it. Husband and wife should spend more time with each other.

  3. Finance. Quarrels over money arise at any age. By 50, you need to understand that they are never enough. Income rises, and so do needs. We need to live here and now, not postponing for later. Then it may not be.

The age of 50 to 60 is considered mature for a person; it has nothing to do with old age. According to statistical studies, this period is the transition from activity to calmness. Perestroika on new way leaves an imprint on the psychology of relationships in a pair of both men and women.

Important! Today, taking care of yourself and having an attractive appearance at any age is very simple. How? Read history carefully Marina Kozlova Read →

Gradually approaching the half-century milestone, people are forced to think about what kind of relationship between a man and a woman after 50 years will be convenient for partners. That is why psychologists recommend carefully understanding the nature of relationships in this dangerous and wonderful age for a man and a woman.

Man through the eyes of women

As people age, people change and relationships are put to a significant test of strength. The same thing happens when meeting, when the requirements of women of mature age are fundamentally different from the requests of young girls. In addition, the behavior of men changes as follows:

  1. 1. A person becomes quick-tempered, irritable, picky about the quality of dishes, constantly dissatisfied with the situation, his every action requires help, he is capricious and insists on increased attention.
  2. 2. Untidy clothes and infrequent trips to the shower sometimes lead to an unpleasant odor. Greasy, uncut hair on time “kills” that stylish image that was in youth.
  3. 3. Increasingly, there are pessimistic views on life, doom, lack of faith in the future.
  4. 4. The holidays practically cease to please, gifts are reduced to a minimum. Remembering all significant dates, a man does not perceive them as a celebration. He gets the feeling that their constant periodicity and repetition from year to year lead to the approach of old age and the end of life.
  5. 5. Tastes change drastically. A man completely selects a different wardrobe, hairstyle, begins to actively engage in sports, closely monitors his appearance.
  6. 6. "Commander notes" appear. Usually an accommodating and responsive person refuses to fulfill requests, does not make concessions, does not seek compromises.
  7. 7. Deceiving himself, he assures everyone of his irresistibility, in excellent health and physical condition. By his own behavior and frank praise, the man makes it clear that age is not a hindrance to him, and he can repeat the records of his youth.
  8. 8. A person is looking for relationships on the side. Being in a long marriage, it is impossible to hide anything from a partner, all the advantages and disadvantages are known. New love allows you to present yourself in a different, self-staged image.

How can a woman keep her feelings for a man?

Having decided on the question of what exactly does not allow you to fall in love with a man, you can take steps towards feelings. To do this, you need to reconsider your attitude to age-related changes:

  1. 1. A woman must understand that a man is in a difficult period of his life. Therefore, in order to maintain a comfortable climate in a relationship, she must be extremely attentive.
  2. 2. If some slovenliness is noticed in a man's clothes, you need to learn how to constantly look through his things and put them in the laundry basket. Going to the shower and the hairdresser can be unobtrusively combined with your activities. It can look like "I'll make the bed, while you take a shower" or "let's take a little walk, at the same time go to the hairdresser." The main thing is that in no case should you stoop to insults or humiliating ridicule.
  3. 3. You need to make plans. Even if the children have grown up, and the house is a full bowl, there is still an interesting activity that will bring pleasure. You can plan an exciting trip, visit the theater or just build a greenhouse in the country. The main thing is to make it clear to the man that a lot of interesting things lie ahead of him.
  4. 4. It is recommended to remind about significant dates in advance, gifts can be discussed. You should not wait until a man, out of confusion, forgets about the holiday or presents an absolutely unnecessary gift. The grievances and reproaches that followed will overshadow the triumph and spoil the relationship.
  5. 5. It is necessary to provide a man with personal space. You should not impose your company and demand fun when a person is tired or just wants to retire. By allowing a man to restore his strength alone, it will be possible to count on his gratitude and voluntary increased attention to himself.
  6. 6. If his taste preferences have changed, it is necessary to listen to the wishes of the partner. It's so easy to buy a tie of a different color or not put boiled onions in his plate. The experiments proposed by the man will eventually please his companion.

To maintain harmonious relationships after the age of 50, a woman must show maximum sensitivity and patience. It is imperceptible to add a little maternal care to life together, not for a moment forgetting that the loved one is still a strong man and a real master in the house.

Male look

It is important to understand how a woman looks through the eyes of men. This will be beneficial for both partners. So, a man after fifty may begin to perceive the behavior of a lady in a different way:

  1. 1. A once accommodating woman suddenly becomes irritable, capricious, quarrels arise from scratch every day. Former quickness disappeared forever, after the conflict long time the partner is forced to observe frowning eyebrows or tear-stained eyes.
  2. 2. A woman stops looking after herself. The lack of manicure and makeup, regrown hair roots and a dressing gown have become the usual way of the once stylish lady.
  3. 3. Easy-going, always on the move and doing everything in time, the girl turned into a housewife, daily watching a lot of TV shows and serials. There was no trace of the former agility, when meeting with her husband after work, the kiss replaced the nod of the head.
  4. 4. The lady is constantly dealing with the problems of adult children and grandchildren. There is not enough strength, time, or desire to talk with a man. Having accepted the axiom that everything has already been passed in personal relationships, she tries to create a comfortable atmosphere in the families of her children as much as possible, shifting the care of her grandchildren and everyday problems onto her shoulders.
  5. 5. Refusal of intimacy. Constant fatigue, poor health and an ironic attitude to pleasures at this age discourage a man, making him undesirable.

Men's secrets consist in the ability to recognize the whims of mature women and try to direct them in the right direction for their own benefit. After all, an adult lady is essentially the same little vulnerable girl. The following recommendations will help him to arouse and maintain love in the chosen one:

  1. 1. If a feeling lives in the heart of a man, he should be more attentive to a woman over the age of 50. During this period, she is especially sensitive and needs tenderness and care. Good words, compliments and gentle touches can do incredible wonders.
  2. 2. According to the French, if a woman is wrong, you should ask her for forgiveness. At this age, this is especially appreciated by the ladies. Temporary irascibility and irritability are perfectly treated with a cheerful joke or an affectionate word from a man.
  3. 3. A gift in the form of underwear or decorative cosmetics, constant visits to various theatrical events will leave a woman no choice but to take care of herself.
  4. 4. By attracting a companion to public life, a man will achieve a beautiful view of his lady not only in public, but also at home.
  5. 5. When a woman takes excessive care of her children and grandchildren, it is necessary, if possible, to take some of these troubles on her own shoulders. It is important to set the condition for providing a sufficient amount of time for joint leisure.
  6. 6. If a couple has been in a relationship for a long time, and a man wants a manifestation of former passion and ardor from a woman, it is necessary to diversify life a little. A change of scenery will help you go back to where it all started. Joint viewing of photos and videos of youth, favorite melodies, aromatic oils and candles, a romantic dinner will help restore the former attraction, adding spicy notes to it.

It's time to fall in love

The age after fifty is sometimes the period of life when many remain lonely. Some couples do not withstand the crisis and break up, people die. Children by that time grow up, create their own families.

But, from the point of view of psychologists, it is at this moment that the most calm and favorable period begins for a new personal life of a person. To understand whether it is worth starting another relationship, it is necessary to analyze all the pros and cons of these changes.

Benefits of a love relationship after 50

This age allows you to feel happy man in all aspects of life. The main condition is the absence of fear of a new relationship. A positive attitude will help to do everything naturally and harmoniously, without much effort and excessive acceleration. Pros of "mature" love:

  1. 1. Meeting after fifty years is an adult, conscious choice of two wise people. If their age is approximately the same, then the presence of joint interests, memories and plans will make their communication incredibly useful for each of the partners.
  2. 2. The experience gained throughout life will help prevent some mistakes, will not let you be deceived in the choice and will not allow you to deceive another person.
  3. 3. Financial stability acquired by given age, will allow you to feel more confident, and the combination of joint savings will significantly increase well-being.
  4. 4. Mature people after 50 always treat their partner with a feeling of great gratitude. The prospect of going out in search of love again seems very tiring. Couples who have found each other mutually strive to maintain relationships, if they are mutually beneficial.
  5. 5. Lack of loneliness. This is the most important aspect for a person who has experienced this painful condition. Long winter evenings and beautiful summer days spent with a loved one will now be filled with joy and happiness.
  6. 6. Sexual life at this age is filled with new colors and sensations. The absence of fear of getting pregnant, the rich experience of communication and understanding of your body will help partners relax and get maximum pleasure.

Disadvantages of new relationships in adulthood

A few controversial cons of relationships after 50 are some warning. But this should not affect the desire to meet your partner. You just need to carefully assess the situation, analyze the risks and try to avoid them. Possible negative aspects of falling in love in adulthood and ways to overcome them:

  1. 1. The negative experience that was left in the "legacy" after a previous relationship can be a reason for mistrust and fear. Therefore, you should not try on a past life for the current one, because a new partner will definitely have a different character and different values. And even if something reminds you of past disappointment, you should take a closer look so as not to miss happiness.
  2. 2. People who live alone for a long time involuntarily get used to this situation. A certain regime, taste preferences and the possibility of solitude, so bored in past life, may become necessary aspects. Both partners should understand this, not be intrusive and allow the other person to adapt to new conditions, leaving him the right to personal space.
  3. 3. In building new relationships after half a century, the material aspect is very important. It is recommended to clarify this situation even before the start of cohabitation. It would be wise to discuss future life with older children or grandchildren, especially if their opinion can play a significant role. For two financially independent people, it is useful to clarify how the budget will be distributed in the future.

Remembering the quote from the famous movie that life only begins after forty, it is safe to say that life can begin at any age. There are no specific requirements for either appearance, or character, or health status. desire to meet loved one should not be intrusive, but you should not sit idly by. It is recommended to visit places of rest more often (there people are more inclined to meet), advertise on the Internet and let go of the situation. If you have to wait a while, you can do what you love or learn a new one. Sooner or later, the only person who has been waiting for so long will appear on the horizon.

And some secrets...

I looked at my husband in fascination, and he did not take his admiring eyes off his mistress. He acted like a lovesick jerk...

Today we continue our conversation about the midlife crisis in the lives of our men. Psychologist Elena Novoselova helps to understand the causes and cope with the consequences.

Here is a letter from a man who does not panic, but realizes that a crisis has covered him.

Igor, 37 years old:

“Now I have fully felt the “mid-life crisis”. It so happened that all my life I overcame the tough resistance of circumstances. Mother she was an engineer with a meager salary, so it was extremely difficult for her to “put me on my feet”. I have been working since childhood. I studied at school the first shift, then went to the construction site. I did my homework in the evening. There was more time for work during the holidays.

In a word, I didn’t have a lot of luck with my childhood. I didn’t even learn to ride a bicycle - I never had one, and I never had one. Then - the Suvorov School. Then the higher military. It's not that I really liked the army. There were no options - the institute was too expensive. Demobilization. And many years of hard work. I succeeded. I have a strong family. Two kids. I worked, my wife raised the children. When the children grew up, we opened a business for my wife - she runs a surgical center. Not very cost-effective, but she's very interested. I have had a very respectable career, while simultaneously implementing several personal projects. That is, work in the name of earning a living has simply lost its meaning - a family cannot eat so much. Personal realization also does not motivate much - I have achieved significant success in various fields of activity. A political career is vile because of the abhorrence of current politics. Those charitable projects in which I had a chance to participate left a very sticky feeling in my soul. It would seem that it's time to go downshifting. But watching comrades gone and looking for oneself leads to an intense desire to avoid it. So I would like to know how deep my crisis is? Maybe just be patient? Or have a third child?

Answering Igor, I say to all men who are experiencing a mid-way crisis: now you need to start doing what you have never done, but what you dreamed about, perhaps as a child. Let it look stupid, absurd and untimely. Doesn't matter! The main thing is to have fun. Then new thoughts, energy and desire to live will return. Sing, dance, draw, launch airplanes and boats, study philosophy, go where you have never been before. Do whatever you want, but don't destroy.

Remember that a crisis is a stage of growth, not the end of life. It must be passed in order to again (Oh God, once again!) find yourself and find new meanings for your own life.

  • Remember that in such a period of life, the destruction of the family and the creation of a new one does not save from the crisis itself, but only exacerbates it. It is dangerous to make vital decisions in a state of "altered consciousness". If your marriage is really out of date, part ways with your family when the crisis is over. When goals and meanings appear again. You will recognize them immediately.
  • Do everything in your power to keep your wife from finding out about her mistress. Don't burn bridges!
  • Escape to alcohol, gambling or spree does not help!
  • Learn to appreciate the simplest things: the smell of coffee, delicious food, the comfort of home, nature... Alone clever man said: "He who has not learned to appreciate breakfast will never be happy." Get back to basics.

50 years old - but the soul has remained young ...

Now, everything seems to have calmed down. The grievances and wounds inflicted during the hostilities healed. Passions subsided. And the man sighs with relief: "Thank God, I was smart enough to save my family! But they stood over the abyss. What a wise wife I have, she understood everything and forgave everything!" But wait to breathe. We'll have to take another milestone: fifty years. Well, will it all happen again? Bast on a cola - start over?

Not really, with options. But it's also not easy.

When a man is fifty, he has, as a rule, come to terms with age. He is less frightened by the fact that in the mirror in the morning he sees a gentleman of respectable age, with well-deserved wrinkles, with a noble gray hair (and what else should she be) and with a young smile. Everything is fine! At the same time, I have enough strength to ski, work productively and even babysit my grandchildren ... One thing worries me: it's not scary that the body is aging, but that the soul remains young at the same time. And a young soul cannot pass by pretty women of about 25-30 years old.

This is not about falling in love or Martian passions. Another story begins.

No, this time he got too sentimental. The truth is that when a man reaches fifty or sixty, testosterone levels decrease, a man becomes less aggressive, he wants to babysit, take care, patronize. Not grandchildren - it's still a little early for that - but young nymphs. A man knows nothing about the bad testosterone, he just wants joy. So enough about hormones, it's time and honor to know!

And the stories are:

Nikolay, 54 years old:

Nikolai has adult children living their own lives. There is a small grandson, but he is engaged in it. Oh yes, Nikolai's wife. He is a wealthy and accomplished man. Traveled by occupation almost the whole world. He has a lot of stories, impressions, observations and conclusions.

"The grandson is too small to be a grateful listener. With his wife, every memorable impression has to begin with the words:" Do you remember ... ", and this is depressing. Yes, and she does not remember anything, she - about Paris, and she - about Vanechka, grandson! And recently, quite by accident, in a supermarket, he helped a young girl deal with purchases. Sweet, not very successful and somehow painfully lonely. We got talking. Parents in another city, came to study, did not enter. Now she works for pennies and a room in rented in a communal apartment. My heart ached... I drove her home, asked about life. I wanted to help. It started spinning. I'm still hoo! I'm thinking of showing her the ocean, Northern Europe. I can imagine what kind of eyes she will have, how much happiness! After all, she has not seen anything in her life. True, sometimes it is difficult with her, I feel like a person from another century. But this is infrequent. But I am happy! I feel needed, necessary. It's great!"

In the crisis of fifty, a man rarely leaves his wife for a mistress. He understands perfectly well that the young woman is not a match for him. It is very difficult to be around a person of a different mentality around the clock. Not knowing by heart the poems of Tsvetaeva and Mandelstam, but pronouncing half of the words in incomprehensible slang. There is almost nothing to talk about, common interests tend to zero. But still nice!

From a psychological point of view, a man compensates for the lack of significance, strives to be appreciated. Moreover, he satisfies his sentimental need to become for someone a "good angel", fulfilling the most incredible desires. With a young, inexperienced nymph, it's easier, and more pleasant.

It seems to a man that his wife almost does not notice him anymore, carried away by the role of a grandmother. This is not true! She, more than ever, needs the attention of her husband. She needs compliments and admiration. In youth, women are loved because they are beautiful. In adulthood, a woman is beautiful because she is loved. Such simple logic!

It also happens differently.

At my appointment, Alexei is fifty-three years old.

Alexei had an anniversary this year - thirty years of marriage. The family was friendly and very young in spirit. Raised a beautiful son with his wife. The son is married and has three children. Alexei not only loves, almost idolizes his work. One problem - a young family went to live abroad. The son studied a lot, made a good career, and he was invited to work in Europe. When the son, his daughter-in-law and the kids packed their bags and went through the necessary formalities, Alexei was happy and proud. But the door closed behind them... And it began!

A feeling of an empty nest, meaninglessness and fatigue came over him. He and his wife had nothing to do together. There is nothing to talk about, no emotions, no common worries. They were running somewhere, running... and now it's time to stop. They looked around, and suddenly it seemed that there had never been warmth, mutual understanding either. Cold in the soul, cold in the house... Climb into the loop! How to live on if nothing is interesting, and it is not clear why to move?

Here is such a story. I want to say with a wise look and omniscient intonation: "This too shall pass!" Only platitudes do not save anyone. Listening to the story of Alexei, I remembered a curious Indian tradition, wild for our culture. In India, a man goes through several stages of life: the period of childhood, the period of study, the period of "housekeeping" - and so on until the age of sixty. And then the tradition gives him the right to leave home in search of wisdom and soul. The family treats this with understanding and respect.

In our culture, this is impossible, no one will understand. But people "leave" all the time. Obviously, they have an urgent need to answer some very important questions to understand something important. Someone goes "into himself", that is, he is formally present, but does not delve into the lives of loved ones; someone leaves to live outside the city, referring to clean air and the proximity of nature; someone completely gives himself to his hobby; and someone runs into alcohol.

At the age of fifty or sixty, it is important for a man to find the ground under his feet, not to lose himself. Life goes on, and it would be nice not to feel out of it.

Men's crises are more painful and harder than women's ones, because men's self-identification requires constant correction.

A crisis is an opportunity to rethink the next life stage and find the meanings of the next one. The crisis should be blessed and thanked, otherwise the forward movement will stop.

During a midlife crisis, the main thing is not to panic, not to fuss and understand that internal problems cannot be solved by external means.

You should not make serious life decisions until the end of the crisis period.

Identity crises are an earthquake best handled with minimal loss.

Discussion

Ahahahaha! Igor is 37 years old, a woman?)))

"When everything is there, but everything is not the same ...", this is still a mild degree of crisis. That's when there is nothing, and even difficult relationships, this is extreme.

Why are there so few responses to this article? After all, the topic is very important. In my opinion, if someone has a big age difference, this is wonderful. Let it be. But at the stage of the destruction of the previous family, when the young one liked it, you should still look in the mirror. As the song says: "look at the passport - and you will understand, you will see everything yourself." Adults should be responsible for the fate of others, in this case their children. We experience unrequited love, the wounds heal. But close young man the path to the future is criminal. I knew a man in his late sixties, well preserved, who "showed young girls the highest level of relationship," as he said. And he himself asked himself the question of whether they would be happy in the future, because passionate love passes after three years, and they leave him, because he does not marry. And he answered: "It is unlikely that they will be happy." And this is a psychologist. And who needs such a high relationship, if it will affect their entire subsequent life. Like this. We are not eternal. Senile problems begin, and you are left alone. On my website, I try to understand the various problems of relations between husband and wife, between parents and children. I'll raise this issue as well.

what a blizzard, as always, our dear editors are pushing us ...

An interesting article, but I don’t think that with a big age difference a successful couple cannot form, anyway, some common interests can be found. My husband and I have a difference of 28 years, and we have been together for 12 years and married for 10 years and are expecting 3 children.

Comment on the article "Midlife crisis: when everything is there, but ""everything is not right"""

Children have grown up, not everything is as we wanted. The husband has cooled off, after 20 years of marriage, this is expected. Maybe a new husband, and a new life - if that's what you want. Or maybe a real passion for something and a social circle around this hobby will be formed, which ...

All about the same. There is a site similar to this one. I don't know if it's appropriate to call it, but that's not the point. There is a forum, and in the forum the topic is "Surrender of lovers and mistresses" where people openly share the information they have. Middle age crisis? My husband and I have been together for 15 years.

Section: Fashion (fashion for men 45 years old). A man after 50 years: where to look for the meaning of life, and why is he attracted to young girls? Marriage with a 50 year old. Now there are a lot of marriages when a man of 30-35 marries a 20-25 year old woman.

I like a man about 50 years old (I myself am 40). 50 years for a man is still quite a normal age. BUT! In our general mass, men do not follow well. They, like 17-year-olds, are all different. I just can't get used to these "hospital average temperature" surveys.

It's lazy for a man to change the established way of life. And in your case, also raise someone else's child. Therefore, do not be afraid that he will leave. At one time I observed the neurological department of a hospital. There were many bedridden patients in both the women's and men's departments.

Relationship with a man over 50. Problem. Things are intimate. Relationship with a man over 50. Hello! I am 42. 3 children, divorced from my husband of 2 years. A year ago, through SZ, I met a man 10 years older.

How did the cases of midlife crisis you know end? Men, women, it doesn't matter. My husband was 38 years old, it also lasted somewhere for six months, there was also no bloodshed - no mistresses, stupid deeds, it was just decided to change life a little.

Yesterday I was taken aback by everything, but at the same time I calmed down. And the concept of a midlife crisis is of course very conditional. In my opinion, such a situation as ours is quite typical, provided that people over thirty and at the same time married for more than 10 years, we got married, being ...

Crises happen to those who are not satisfied with their lives for quite objective reasons. As I understand it, the lady was lonely, and even raised her daughter herself, plowed where they paid, and not there. At a very different age. But all these women, as if by choice, were stupid and eccentric.

I am 44 years old, my husband is 50 in 2 months, sex is from 3 to 1 time per week, depending on the intensity of the day. Physiologically, this is normal, otherwise some men would not conceive children in their 80s with younger ladies.

Section: Treason (a 50-year-old husband runs from his wife to his mistress). A week ago, the husband admitted that he has a mistress (for a year now they have been renting an apartment together), married, from work, with a small child - and he wants to go to her. She has long been ready to break her ...

Still, a 60 year old looks like a 60 year old... In terms of skin and everything else. Well, maybe he can do something, but how can he be physically attracted to him? Well, now I have a man - 58, almost the same age. I'm 45. You know, it's super simple, everything is as it should be, and gentle - peers don't ...

And he is not experiencing a midlife crisis, but a spiritual crisis. Something is really bothering him. A wife is the second half, that is, a continuation. That is, with her husband, do not be silent, do not reproach, do not scream, but show your love (it is not necessary to declare your love 10 times a day and ...

a man in his 50s. What is he like in terms of intimacy, does anyone have experience? And in general - is there sex in men after 50? Current do not advise to check until it's real. I'm 30. Figase comments... And what about 50-year-olds only out of hopelessness, or do you personally know the characters?

Middle age crisis. Wife and husband. Family relationships. A couple of years ago, it seems to me that this crisis began with him and was associated with a job change. He began to actively communicate with his relatives - father, sister, nephews - takes the most active in their life ...

Sex with a 50 year old man. I need advice, really. I recently had awesome phone sex with a 48 year old almost unknown man. Then we met and the real sex was amazing as well and much better than a lot of 30 year olds... so I wouldn't...

In the crisis of fifty, a man rarely leaves his wife for a mistress. He understands perfectly well that the young woman is not a match for him. Sex after menopause. Male menopause or midlife crisis? Section: A serious question (male menopause after 50 is dangerous for ...

There is such a thing as a "midlife crisis". For some reason, it usually means men aged 40-50, who suddenly decide to change something strongly in their lives. For some, these changes remain only a dream (and he becomes depressed from the impossibility of them ...

It is known that there cannot be a middle age crisis, so everyone goes through it. And how did it happen for you (or for your friends) or Tell me, please, can there be any effective methods to survive this crisis. 11/01/2018 03:14:02 PM, Victoria S.