How to overcome fears - recommendations of a psychologist. How to overcome fear and get rid of phobias on your own? Tips on how to overcome fear

Fear is a common human emotion necessary for self-preservation. Today, 9 out of 10 people have various phobias, and therefore the question: “How to overcome fear” is quite relevant.

Fear is a common emotion of a healthy person, which is a reflection of the instinct of self-preservation. It is quite difficult to overcome panic fear, as well as your complexes, since such a reaction can paralyze a person, or lead to a state of passion.

Separation of pathological fear from normal not an easy task because fear is a common human emotion, without which the human race would not have survived.

The main manifestations of strong excitement at the level of physiology are the following:

• heart palpitations;
• sweating;
• increase in pressure;
• dry mouth.

Thus, internal fear is an absolutely normal reaction if it is short-lived and disappears after the danger has passed.

But there are fears, so-called phobias, that affect a person's well-being and the quality of his life. Therefore, to overcome fears, it is necessary to use physical methods of influence.

How to overcome fear

Psychological methods of getting rid of fears are effective, but more prolonged in time. Physical Methods act instantly, because they affect the fear of the "here and now."

Psychologists for getting rid of phobias advise the following:

1. Do sport. Physical exercise occupies the body and prevents it from experiencing strong emotions. Therefore, negative symptoms go away on their own. In addition, after physical procedures, a large amount of endorphins are released into the blood, which are necessary to relieve feelings of anxiety and get rid of anxiety and insecurity.

2. Start working hard physically. To relieve acute fears, heavy physical activity in the gym is recommended. And to overcome chronic varieties, you can use light dance styles, athletics, aerobics. In addition to the psychotherapeutic effect, these exercises will increase self-esteem and improve the figure.

3. Relax. Relaxation is an excellent method of getting rid of phobias, which has many positive effects besides getting rid of fear.

Relaxation options include:

• Massage. Professional massage affects the body, calming the nervous system and relaxing all the muscles. Psychologists say that any phobia affects the physiology. For example, people with a fear of public speaking are prone to skin allergies and diseases of the vocal cords. Massage helps to remove psychological clamps in the body, and fear dissolves by itself.
• Swimming and yoga- the best sports for those who have any phobias and constant anxiety. Swimming produces a massage of all muscles, trains the body and nervous system. As a result, things that previously seemed dangerous cease to focus on themselves.
• Psychological relaxation- a method of influencing one's own body with the help of the psyche. It consists in the fact that a person lies on a sofa or bed. First of all, a pleasant picture appears in the imagination, a place you like to visit. It is worth remembering your emotions at this moment. Further, the imagination must be translated into the moment of fear.

For example, you are afraid of big dogs, so you need to imagine a big scary dog, and together with it you will be transported in your imagination to your favorite place. The subconscious reacts differently to fear. These exercises are suitable for any phobia, but they need to be done purposefully and systematically. After about 5-7 sessions, many things cease to excite even in reality.

If all the methods have been tried, and fears and anxieties are not going to go away, then you can use some unusual methods that were invented not so long ago, but have already proven to be the most effective.

muscle shake

This method is great for people who are contraindicated physical exercise and hard work. Shaking is carried out as follows:

• with the manifestation of anxiety, you need to tighten the muscles of the whole body as much as possible, and concentrate on this;
• with tension, exhale powerfully and hold your breath for 20 seconds, then exhale with relaxation;
• repeat the exercise until symptoms are relieved.

Shaking relieves symptoms very quickly and, in addition, removes anxiety in the period between attacks. After this exercise, there is an improvement in well-being, removal of headaches, tense muscles, skin and stomach problems.

scream

The method consists in shouting out your fear as you exhale. Of course, it is better to do this in a deserted place where no one will hear, since not everyone can shout their fear loudly and clearly. Here the role is played by the fact that by pronouncing his fear aloud, a person again experiences negative emotions.

To achieve the effect, you need to shout your phobia very loudly as you exhale. For example:

• "I'm afraid of dogs!"
• "I'm afraid to communicate with women!"
• "I am afraid of darkness!"

You can shout several times, but the sound should be very loud. So that at the end of the phrase there should be no air left in the chest. Of course, there can be many excuses: “Inconvenient”, “Won't help”, “What nonsense”, but those who are unable to “look in the face” of their fears say so.

Exercises should be performed until the fear completely melts away and the body becomes relaxed.

Thus, fear is a negative emotion because it causes a person to experience a number of unpleasant physiological symptoms. But it is worth remembering that fear is a defensive reaction, a manifestation of the instinct of self-preservation and the line between a normal and a pathological state is very conditional.

Today there are many ways to get rid of a phobia, but they will only help if you work purposefully and systematically.

Video: How to get out of your comfort zone

Fear is considered the only reaction that is caused by a person's environment. Each of us is born practically devoid of this feeling. The only fear that babies may experience is the fear of falling from a height and loud noises. All other reactions in them awaken later, as a result of certain events. The reason for all the fears that arise with age lies in the person's confidence in the inability to cope with life's ups and downs. And this feeling does not make it possible to reach heights, even insignificant ones. At the same time, we are not talking about significant successes or the realization of dreams at all. Any person should be able and know how to overcome fear. There are many ways to do this. Below are methods for overcoming any fears. They are very effective and produce amazing results.

Do you want to overcome fear? Just do it!

It is necessary, despite the fear, to develop the habit of acting in any situation. You need to understand that this feeling is a common reaction that occurs to attempts to carry out actions that are unusual for you. Also, fear can arise as a result of steps that are aimed at overcoming one's own beliefs. Each person receives a certain experience and worldview for a long time. At the moment when he tries to change him, he is faced with the question of how to overcome fear. Depending on the level of persuasion, the fear of the situation can be both weak and strong.

If you, for example, do not know how to overcome the fear of driving a car, you need to instill confidence in yourself that you will certainly be able to drive onto a busy highway. As long as a person hesitates, the fear becomes stronger. The longer the pause before action, the more fear fills the brain. At the first attempt to accomplish the plan, the fear disappears.

How to conquer fears? Evaluation of the worst option

If the question arises of how to overcome fear, you can try to overcome it in a logical way. When a feeling of fear arises, you need to imagine the worst possible outcome of the development of events that you cannot decide on. Usually after that the fear disappears. Why is this happening? Even the worst option is not as scary as the unknown and the very feeling of fear. As soon as a phobia acquires a concrete picture of what is happening, it ceases to be a threat. After all, the strongest weapon of fear is the unknown. In the mind of a person, they are so great that it often seems as if it will be impossible to survive the result of what happened.

In the case when even after evaluating the worst case it is still scary, this means that the worst outcome of the situation is actually terrible. Then you should think about whether it is really worth doing. After all, fear is a defensive response. Perhaps you just need to abandon the implementation of the plan.

Want to conquer your fear? Make a decision!

It is the adoption of a decision that will force you to gather strength and, as a result, fulfill what is catching up with fear. If you set yourself up for real action, the fear will disappear. The presence of fears is possible only in the presence of uncertainty and emptiness. They are inseparable companions of doubt. There is no need to make a decision without making a decision.

However, when thinking about how to overcome fear, the question also arises: "Why is it so strong?" The horror of upcoming events draws in the mind of a person an unflattering picture of undesirable actions and situations in which he is uncomfortable. When fear arises, options for failure and failure scroll through the mind. Such thoughts instantly have a negative impact on the emotional state. With an insufficient amount of positive, decisiveness for action is lost. At this time, confidence in one's own worthlessness is strengthened. It is determination that affects the ability to overcome fear.

How to conquer fear: step by step

So, if you know what exactly you are afraid of, then this is half the battle. Therefore, there is an opportunity to prepare to overcome the phobia. You need to go through two stages: analysis and representation of fear.

Analysis

At this stage, you need to carefully analyze your fear of the upcoming action. The questions to be answered are the following:

1. What am I afraid of?

2. Does my fear have a rational basis?

3. Should I be afraid in this case?

4. Why did my fear arise?

5. Fear of what is more - the performance of the action itself or the unattainability of the goal in the end?

You can ask yourself a variety of other questions that you deem necessary. It is required to study fear in more detail. Fear is an emotion, and its analysis is a logical action. After completing the first stage, you can understand that in fact, fear does not make sense. But at the same time, the fear of action can continue. Emotions always win over logic. Often this happens when you need to decide how to overcome the fear of driving. Then we move on to the second stage.

Performance

How to overcome fear and insecurity with the help of emotions, not logic? The representation of one's own fear is its visualization. If you know exactly what you are afraid of, calmly scroll through the pictures of this action in your mind. The human mind does not distinguish between imagined and real events. After the phobia has been repeatedly overcome in your imagination, it will be much easier to do the same in reality. This is due to the fact that in the subconscious the model for performing the act is already fixed. Self-hypnosis is a fairly effective method of dealing with fears. It can be applied in any situation unambiguously successfully.

How to get rid of fear? Train your courage!

Imagine that you can train courage in the same way as pumping up muscles in the gym. First, a projectile with a small weight rises - if possible. Over time, when it becomes easy, the mass of inventory increases. With each new load, attempts are made to lift the projectile with greater force. You need to do the same with fears - first train your mind against a small one, then fight with a fear of a greater degree. Let's take a look at specific options.

Example one

How to overcome the fear of people if you are afraid to speak in front of a large audience? To begin with, it is worth inviting friends to a meeting and demonstrating your skills in front of them. Let's say ten people. Speaking in front of a small audience is not as scary as speaking in front of a few dozen or hundreds of spectators. Then gather about 30 people and complete the task in front of them. In the event that this stage is problematic for you, and fear still arises (you forget what to say, you get lost), then you need to train with just such a number of spectators until the situation becomes familiar and calm. Then you can perform in front of an audience of 50, 100 or more people.

Example two

If you are shy and do not know how to overcome your fear of people, then you should make it a habit to talk to them more often. You can start by simply smiling at passers-by on the street. You will be pleasantly surprised, but people will start doing the same in return. Of course, there will be such a person who decides that you are laughing at him. But it's not a problem.

Next, you need to start greeting passers-by. They will answer, thinking that you know each other, and remember where they met before. The next step is to try to start a casual conversation with people. For example, while standing in line, you can say some phrase of a neutral theme. This will provoke someone to answer you. There are many reasons to start a conversation - weather, sports, politics, etc. Thus, having defeated small fears, you can cope with big ones.

Step by step plan to get rid of fear

Identify your biggest anxiety (for example, you don't know how to overcome your fear of the dentist). Then follow all of the following steps:

1. Divide your fear into several smaller ones. There must be at least 5 of them.

2. Start by training to overcome the smallest fear of them.

3. If there is fear even in front of him, then you need to break it into several more.

4. Overcome each petty fear one by one.

5. You need to train on an ongoing basis.

This method will allow you to learn how to deal with fears. If there are breaks between such workouts for a long time, then soon you will have to start all over again. The process is similar to if you interrupt your workouts in the gym for a long time - the muscles wean from a heavy load, and you have to take on light exercises. As soon as training stops, the fear that lives in your mind will take over you. Emotions will win over logic.

Other Techniques for Coping with Stressful Situations

It is worth noting that any positive emotions help to overcome fears, while negative ones, on the contrary, interfere.

Boost your own self-esteem

There is a pattern - the better your opinion of yourself is, the less fear you have of anything. In this case, self-esteem protects against excessive fear and stress. It doesn't matter if it's false or true. That is why an inflated positive opinion of oneself often gives a person the ability to perform a bolder act than the real one.

Believe

If you don’t know, for example, how to overcome the fear of an airplane, then faith in God, an angel or other higher being will help get rid of this feeling. When you have confidence that one of these images can take care of you in a critical situation, your negative emotions become less strong. It seems as if the light from any higher power dispels the darkness of fear.

love

Men are able to cope with any fears for the sake of the women they love. The same can be said about mothers. They will overcome any obstacle to raise healthy children. Therefore, remembering a loved one, you can overcome any fear in order to be near him.

How to overcome fear of heights: an effective physical method

In order to really overcome the fear of heights, you will need a consultation with a psychologist, a pen, a notebook and a balcony located in a multi-storey building.

First you need to understand yourself - how strong is your fear of heights. In the case when fear appears from the view from the balcony of the 20th floor, we can talk about the necessary sense of self-preservation. Without this defensive reaction, a person would not have survived. But in the event of fear arising when overcoming several steps of a stepladder, we can already talk about a phobia. The first option requires learning to control and curb your own emotions. The second case involves visiting a psychologist and solving the problem with him.

Let's take action

You do not know how to overcome the fear of heights, and the help of a specialist did not help you or you do not want to contact him? Then you should learn to stand calmly for a start, for example, on the balcony of the 5th floor, if this is too difficult, then you should start from the second or third, gradually increasing the height. It is recommended to start a diary and record in it all your feelings, thoughts and - most importantly - achievements. When you read it periodically, it will give additional confidence and strength. When fear is finally defeated by you, burn the diary. Thus, you can put an end to the fight against fear of heights.

How to overcome the fear of a fight?

Fear of a fight is most often due to the usual lack of experience and skills, physical inability to fight. In this case, you need to urgently go to learn self-defense courses. At the same time, their focus is not important, the main thing is that the mentor be a professional in their field. A knowledgeable, authoritative, experienced coach will teach you how to strike correctly, set up defensive blocks and instill confidence in you.

Self improvement

Fans of idly waving their fists on a subconscious level feel a potential “victim” - a frightened, notorious, fearful person. To become a strong personality, you can turn to the method of psychological relaxation, concentration, self-hypnosis. Thanks to this technique, you will learn not only to react almost instantly to provocations, but also begin to do it clearly and confidently.

There is another, perfect method - the cessation of mental, emotional thinking, imagining a possible fight. If you learn to treat her coolly, then your condition will change. The sharpness of perception, the reaction will increase, and the body will have the opportunity to mobilize forces in full to win victory.

Psychologist or training?

The most successful effect in overcoming the fear of a fight will be if you turn to a psychologist with a problem. If this option is unacceptable for you, then an excellent result can be achieved by attending a training aimed at personal growth. It should not necessarily be dedicated to the topic: "How to overcome the fear of a fight." Any quality training that helps develop self-confidence can definitely help to cope with this problem.

Dealing with the fear of driving

If you do not know how to overcome the fear of driving a car, and even at the same time you have little driving experience vehicle, you should choose not very popular and quiet routes that have the lowest possible traffic flow. In this case, your path to your destination will become longer, but at the same time, you can kill two birds with one stone. Firstly, it will be possible to gain experience in real driving, and not idle in traffic jams on the main streets of the city, especially during rush hour. Secondly, you will learn how to quickly and correctly assess the situation on the road when driving without nervousness. After a month or two of such practice, your fear of both the car and maneuvers and difficult situations on the way will disappear.

Away with nervousness!

How to overcome fear of driving? The main rule is not to be nervous under any circumstances! Even if you set off on your car unsuccessfully, stalled at a traffic light or blocked a couple of lanes. This happens to every driver. And if they shout, honk and swear at you, try to minimize your nervousness. Think about the fact that no one was hurt in this situation, and it would be much worse if, in fright, you suddenly pressed the gas pedal and collided with another car.

Fighting Fear of Flying

You have to travel by air, but you do not know how to overcome the fear of flying on an airplane? Try to do something while you wait for your flight. Switch your attention to things that have nothing to do with the future flight. Don't go into the air feeling hungry, but don't pre-eat a lot of sugary or fatty foods. You should also avoid caffeine-containing drinks, which can increase anxiety. To avoid unnecessary excitement, arrive at the check-in of passengers on time.

Overcoming the fear of flying in the air

How to overcome the fear of flying at altitude? While already in the air, do not look at the passengers, determining their condition. Of course, it will be possible to easily find more than one person who is afraid of flying just like you. This will increase the feeling of panic. To reduce the fear of flying to a minimum, you should keep your legs with your feet on the floor, women wearing high-heeled shoes should take off their shoes. So support will be felt and fear will decrease. Also, do not listen to the sound of the aircraft engine and mentally imagine the plots of disasters. On the contrary, you need to remember something pleasant, chat with the person in the next chair, or be distracted by solving a crossword puzzle.

The main principle of dealing with fears is never to fight them.

The article lists many options for dealing with fears. But in fact, they never need to be fought. When you try to overcome fear, it only intensifies and completely takes over your mind. It is enough when there is a fear of something just to admit it. For example, how to overcome the fear of death? Recognize that it is inevitable. And reconcile. This does not mean that you will become weak. Not the absence of fear is considered courage, but the ability to act. No matter what. Fear can be destroyed only by ignoring it. This way you can direct your attention and energy to the ability to act.

Friends, we all know fear. Let's talk about this unpleasant condition and try to find out how it can be overcome. First you need to understand what it is in general, find out, as they say, what it is eaten with and what kind of animal it is.

What is fear and how to overcome it

This is emotion. This is the STRONGEST negative human emotion. Stronger than all the others put together. But where does it come from? After all, everyone knows that children from birth are practically unaware of fear. They are only afraid of falling from a height and loud noises. Everybody. But this is a natural fear based on the instinct of self-preservation.

We acquire all our other phobias later, as they say, along the way. As a reaction to certain events. And the root of it all is our negative beliefs that we can't handle life on our own.

In short, it greatly interferes with our lives. Especially to achieve your goals. Even the smallest ones, not to mention achieving significant success or doing something outstanding.

Only one thing makes the realization of the Dream impossible - it is the fear of failure..

Paolo Coelho

Fear is the killer of dreams!

It can and must be overcome. There are many ways, but I chose 5 of the most effective ones.

Method number 1 how to overcome fear. DEBRIEFING

Here you need to prepare. Preparation consists of 2 stages

1. Detailed Analysis
2. Visualization

At the first stage, the most important thing is to deal with fear and understand what you are afraid of. To do this, answer yourself the following questions:

1. What am I afraid of?
2. Why am I afraid?
3. Does fear have a real basis?
4. What am I more afraid of doing it or not being able to do it?

Do a detailed analysis of your fears and deal with yours anxieties. These will be your logical actions. And although human emotions are stronger than logic, and “persuading yourself” is not always possible, nevertheless, “debriefing” is a good “artillery preparation” before the battle with this strong emotion.

After we sorted out the fear on the shelves, we proceed to the second stage - the presentation of the situation. Here we will beat fear with its own weapon - emotions. Emotions will help us overcome it

Here will come to the rescue. The main thing is that now you already know what you are afraid of. Sit back and start repeatedly scroll on the internal screen pictures of your fears, where you managed to overcome it, for example, how you do what you are afraid of. The mind does not distinguish fiction from reality and will take everything at face value! And a picture will be imprinted in your subconscious repeatedly overcome fear!

The method is very effective! Even a one-time five-minute visualization can drastically lower your fear level.

Method number 2 how to become fearless. MAKE A DECISION!

Sometimes, DECISION MAKING alone can make you do what you fear. When you are determined to do something, the fear will immediately disappear. As well as doubts. Doubt breeds fear, and the decision to act removes doubt, and therefore neutralizes it. No doubts - no fears! I made a decision - doubts away!

The eyes are afraid, but the hands are doing

Fear causes negative emotions in us, and DETERMINATION forms a positive attitude and turns on positive ones. Positive emotions displace fear and give us self-confidence and self-confidence!

Go to the mirror, look into your eyes and say decisively: “Despite the fact that I am scared, I will do it! Through thick and thin!"

Method number 3 how to overcome your fear. DO IT!

Get used to acting, despite the fear! Remember that fear is just a common reaction to your attempt to do something out of the ordinary. Something you've never done before. Did not speak publicly, for example.

Also, fear can arise if you go against your beliefs. Throughout our lives, we develop our own concepts, our own worldview. And when we try to change something in our life, turn in a different direction, then we have to leave the "comfort zone", and this automatically causes fear, doubt and insecurity.

None of us are born successful. And no one from childhood taught how to be. Therefore, we will have to overcome fear in order to fulfill our dreams and achieve our goals. We'll have to learn to act, despite the fear. Action and more action!

You go forward - fear does not take

To overcome fear, you need to stop fighting it. Recognize it and accept it. After all, we are not superheroes. Tell yourself, "Yes, I'm scared. I'm really scared. But I'll do it anyway!"

When we admit our fears to ourselves, we kill two birds with one stone. First of all This is how we relieve internal stress and accept ourselves as we are. Secondly When we admit to ourselves, fear begins to celebrate its victory and ceases to act on us. He is weakening! And this is where you need to start taking action. And immediately!

Method number 4 how to overcome fear. ACCEPT THE WORST OPTION

Everything is very simple here. Imagine the worst possible scenario.

Ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that could happen to me if I do this?" And imagine this picture. Live it and be filled with emotions. Accept this option and get used to it.

Repeat this exercise several times and you will feel how it becomes easier for you. Fear goes away and anxiety disappears. You will stop worrying, calm down and start thinking clearly. And most likely you will understand that your fear was exaggerated and not everything is so sad. This is how fearlessness comes about.

The devil is not as scary as he is painted

Well, if your fear is not to do anything and you still continue to be afraid, then most likely your fears are justified and you should think about whether you should take this step. After all, fear is our defensive reaction, based on a sense of self-preservation.

How do you know if the fear is justified?

I will give two examples.

• You are in your 30s and not yet married. You have a girl you are dating and you want to propose. But you are afraid to do it, because you have never made offers before. We ask the magic question: "What's the worst that could come out of this?" The answer is you will be rejected. We develop the topic further - it means that this is not my soul mate, but the Universe is preparing a meeting with my man, it's just that the time has not come yet. Everything, fear as it happened.

• You have a goal - to learn to ski. But you were brought to a very steep mountain and offered to go down. Naturally, you are scared. Worst case, you'll break something. And the option is quite real. You can apply the above methods and start descending. You will no longer be afraid. But maybe it makes sense to start driving from a place lower, where it is not so dangerous?

Fear has big eyes

Assess the validity of your fears. If they are real enough and have “solid ground” under them, then it is better to listen to them and not get into trouble. Well, if the worst option does not cause strong negative emotions in you and you can put up with it, then, as they say, go ahead with the song!

Method number 5 how to overcome fear. FEARLESS TRAINING

In order for fear to never stand in your way, you need to understand that it is not a problem, but an OBJECT OF FEAR. Fear by itself means nothing and should not be feared! People are so afraid of him that they exclude almost all situations where he can arise from their lives. Instead of taking it and overcoming it once, thereby impoverishing your life and making it uninteresting! But this is a straight road with misfortune.

So, in the beginning we determine the object of fear. Then we begin the training of fearlessness.

Who is bolder - the lighter

Fearlessness (courage, courage) can be trained. Just like muscles in the gym. First you take a small weight, work with it, then move on to a larger one. Likewise with fear.

How to overcome, for example, the fear of public speaking? To begin, stand in front of you. Then in front of parents or children. Then gather your friends and make a speech there. Speaking in front of 10 people is not as scary as speaking in front of a thousand people. Once you're comfortable with one step, move on to the next. Until you feel comfortable.

Or, for example, you are a shy person and do not make good contact with strangers. We are going the same way. To overcome this kind of fear in yourself, start simply by SMILEING TO PASSERING BY. You will see people smile back at you. Then try to say hello, first just nod your head, and then just say "Hello!" or "Hi!" Don't be afraid, no one will eat you! Then try to have a light conversation, for example, with a neighbor on public transport or in line for something. Gradually, step by step, you will overcome the fear of communicating with strangers. Slowly but surely, it will fade away and you will turn into a super-sociable person!

Who among us can honestly confess our fears? Any person has them, even those who claim that they are not afraid of absolutely nothing. Our fear of something can be expressed not only in the thought "I'm afraid!", but also in the usual anxiety or nervous state. If you are nervous or worried for any reason, that is also fear, you just hide it under other names. So, how to overcome fear and self-doubt? How to gain this self-confidence? All about this later in the article.

Fear and truths about fear

To get rid of fear, you need to understand what it is. Moreover, the approach here should be individual, since we are all different, respectively, and the manifestations of fear in our lives are different.

All fears can be divided into "right" and "wrong".

"Right" fears- these are manifestations of the instinct of self-preservation, they are inherent in us by nature and allow us to quickly respond to impending danger.

"Wrong" fears- fears that arose in the process of our growing up and upbringing, they do not allow us to grow as individuals and become an obstacle on the way to the goal. It is from these "wrong" fears that you need to get rid of. How to do it?

To overcome your fears, you need to restore faith in yourself! You must believe that you are able to reach your goals, despite the obstacles that you are sure to meet along the way. We set a goal and go to it. Doubts about your abilities must be cast aside once and for all.

Why do we doubt? Sometimes it is impossible to get to the root of the doubt. Even if you manage to do it, so what? The fact that you have identified the cause of the doubt does not mean at all that you have immediately got rid of it.

Say to yourself: “I don’t like that my doubts are preventing me from moving forward and achieving my goals!”. And then take action, because thinking “why did these doubts arise” and “how did it happen” takes up your time, energy and mood, which are better directed in a positive direction.

To cope with fear, you need to know five truths about it:

one . I can handle anything no matter the circumstances!

You can really do anything. And this phrase should be repeated to yourself as a permanent installation.

2. Fear will always be with me as I develop

It just needs to be acknowledged. Fear will always accompany you, it will go along, but you just need to learn to ignore it. When you realize this, you will learn to achieve your goal without looking back at doubts.

3 . In order not to be afraid, I will take it and do it!

When you yourself achieve something and see the direct result of the forces you have expended, then you will believe in yourself even more. Gradually, you will achieve new goals, and the feeling of confidence will grow.

4 . You will grow in your eyes when you go to the goal without excuses

To achieve something on your own means to feel your importance, and this, of course, allows you to gain confidence. By the way, if you have reached one goal and you no longer feel fear, then on the way to new goal it may reappear. When you try yourself in a new direction, fear will again be next to you - you can overcome it only with your decisive actions.

five . In unfamiliar territory, everyone experiences fear!

Do you think that only you are afraid of something in a new and unusual situation? Not at all. In any new situation, each of us will also experience fear, only some will go forward, while others will remain in place, doubting themselves. If you understand that the people around you also experience fears, it will become much easier for you to bear your doubts.

Repeat these truths every day. Be aware of each of them - this will be the first step towards getting rid of your fears! Learn to think in a new way, and stop all doubts with the phrase “I can handle it!” or "I'll do it!". FEAR IS NOT A PROBLEM, IT IS NOT A HINDER ON THE WAY TO THE GOAL!

How do doubts and fears arise?

Most often, we ourselves are to blame for our fears - we ourselves attract them, doubting our actions. Remember how often you say "I can't" to an invitation to go somewhere to relax or to the request of a friend? These words "I can't" get stuck in your head and can't leave it. Replace them with the phrase "I won't" and you will immediately feel the difference. You will not show weakness - you will simply answer a question, request or assignment. “I can’t go to a bar” and “I won’t go to a bar because I will be preparing for tomorrow’s event” - feel the difference between these two phrases.

How many more such phrases are constantly spinning among our thoughts and help doubts capture us in their captivity? There are a lot of them and it is they that contribute to the emergence of fear.

You need to remove the phrase “I need” from your thoughts. speak correctly "I could"! In the first case, a sense of obligation presses on you, and in the second, you feel the possibility of choice.

Forget about the phrase "It's not my fault", it makes you helpless. Replace it with "I'll keep that in mind, next time I'll do better". You need to take responsibility for your life. When you realize this, you will understand that only you can change your life. Gradually, you will find yourself in a position of power, and the level of fear will automatically decrease!

Another phrase that needs to be urgently eliminated from your head is “I have a problem” or “This is problematic.” If you perceive the situation as a problem, then this already leads to negativity. Every problem needs to be considered. as a new opportunity! If you learn to handle problems in such a way that they turn into new opportunities, then you will definitely become stronger, and certainly more confident in yourself.

Get rid of the phrase "I hope" - it immediately makes you anxious. And here "I know" immediately programs for full confidence in their abilities. Your fear is also confirmed by the phrases “This is terrible” or “What can I do?”. You must learn to perceive your life from the other side: "I will draw conclusions" and "I know I can handle the situation".

As you can see, most often we ourselves are to blame for our fears. Our negative perception of what is happening, the role of the victim and the unwillingness to face difficulties help our fears grow. To eliminate them, you must take responsibility for your life and move forward.

All in your hands!

We must urgently get rid of the role of the victim, because the victim is always scared, because she is helpless! You need to understand that everything is only in your hands, moreover, entirely and completely!

Of course, you cannot be responsible for everything that happens in your life. You just need to understand that the reason for your experiences is only yourself.

Your reaction to what is happening is the result of your thinking!

When you understand that you yourself are responsible for what is going on in your head, you can take control of your life.

So, your task will learn the following truths:

one . Taking responsibility and blaming yourself are two different things.

Yes, you take responsibility for your life, but you should not blame yourself for the past, present or future. Moreover, there is no need to be upset. Think of the obstacles that prevent you from reaching your goal as a learning process, as a result of which you will free yourself from fears.

How do you know where in your life you are not taking responsibility? Analyze in what situations you feel angry or upset, blame others, feel sorry for yourself. It is in these moments that you shirk responsibility. Other signs of liability evasion may include:

• distraction,
• fatigue,
• impatience,
• feelings of envy or jealousy
• feeling of disappointment
• helplessness
• constant uncertainty
• desire to control others.

Do you notice things like this? Think about where they come from - it is in these moments that you need to take responsibility.

2. The inner talker must know his place

The Inner Talker is the voice in your head that constantly leads you to negative thoughts, doubts and worries. By putting it in place in time, you will find the key to all your fears. True, you still cannot do without it: the Talker allows us to realize the need for change, he will always accompany you during work on yourself.

3 . Taking responsibility, we are aware of the hidden benefits

What is hidden benefit? There are people who always complain about their health, but do not fix it. Why? Because it benefits them! So attention is always riveted to them, and they themselves have a “weighty” reason to play the role of a victim. Any failure they can attribute to the fact that they have poor health. But you just need to realize these "hidden" benefits and take responsibility for this part of your life.

4 . We formulate goals - we undertake to achieve them

five . Every situation has multiple solutions.

In any situation, you have a choice: you can do this or do it this way. Only you can make yourself happy or unhappy - you make that choice! You need to stop at the option that will make you better and will contribute to personal growth.

How to get rid of fear?

To overcome fear, you need to take a position of strength: get your strength back - get rid of fear. At the same time, it is important:

• If your life brings you negative emotions, then external factors cannot be to blame for this. You alone are responsible for your emotions, thoughts and actions.
• Don't blame yourself for not being in control of everything in life. It's impossible. The process of returning oneself to a position of strength occurs gradually.
• Analyze the moments in which you appear as a victim. These are the parts of your life that you need to take responsibility for.
• Turn the Inner Talker into your friend, learn how to use it for your own purposes.
• Find out for yourself if you have hidden benefits that slow you down in the development process. When you find and acknowledge them, it will be much easier to overcome your fears.
• Your actions must be in line with your goals.
• In any situation, your reaction should be directed towards positive and harmony with yourself.

Many, by the way, are skeptical about the theory of positive thinking. But think for yourself: what we
worry, most of the time it doesn't. So is it worth tormenting yourself with negative expectations when it's better to think positive? Why be afraid of something and worry about it when you can think about more pleasant things?

To win the battle with fears, use affirmations - positive statements that something good is happening to you right now. Affirmations should be formulated only in the present tense and always in a positive way. For example, "I can handle this problem" rather than "I can handle this problem."

When making a decision, we are afraid of making a mistake, choosing the wrong option. But after all, in any case, we gain something, and our own thinking makes our choice a mistake. We think that we have made a mistake. Maybe this is not a mistake at all? In the fight against fear, it is important to shift the focus of your thinking so that in any case your choice is not a mistake - it should just be one of the options that led to a particular result.

Believe in your strength! Do it gradually:

• First, determine your priorities - your own, not someone else's. We often do what others say. And we must do what we ourselves want.

Personally, I have experienced this from my own experience. At one time I received 2 higher education because that's what the parents wanted. And just when I thought that I had repaid my debt to them and would finally start doing what I had wanted for so long, I again stumbled upon the disapproval of my parents. Who tried in every possible way to impose their priorities on me in choosing my professional future. Fortunately, by pulling myself together and saying a firm NO, I got rid of their attitudes, defining my priorities and goals. Now that I am walking my path, I feel happy and fulfilled in life. And the fear faded into the background.

• Trust your impulses! Listen to your intuition, often our body itself tells us on a subconscious level in which direction to move.
• Be simple! Don't take your actions too seriously. Be simpler, perceive life around you more easily.
• Change your action plan! You are on your way to your goal, and if your plan is not working, then you just need to change it. If you do not change it, then you will not reach the goal.
• Think of your mistakes as experiences that lead you to success.

To get rid of fears, use psychological exercises - they are available to absolutely everyone!

Exercise #1: If you are facing a problem, then you always have several options for solving it. Take a piece of paper and write down the positive aspects of each of these options. What is the result? Each option will be the right solution to the problem, because each has its own positive aspects.

Exercise #2: During the day when you have to make a choice, train yourself to think, "It doesn't matter." And really, does it really matter, for example, where you dine today? Just different options will bring different experiences.

Exercise #3: In the fight against fears, positive “reminders” will help you: “We will break through!”, “Everything will be super!”, “I will do it!” etc. Write them down on small pieces of paper and stick them up at home and at the workplace in the office. Now, when you start to worry, such a “reminder” will help you eliminate unnecessary worries and think about a positive outcome.

To cope with fears, you need to understand, first of all, in your head. All our fears come from the wrong mindset. Shift his activities towards the positive, set goals and go to them, forgetting about fears and doubts!

Is fear keeping you alive? Does something scare you? What are you afraid of? Often we are afraid of the dangers that can await us every day at every turn. We are afraid to appear ridiculous when speaking in public, to meet an unpleasant insect, to get sick or to harm our health. In fact, these fears can be overcome. It doesn’t matter what exactly you are afraid of and why you are worried: in this article you will find 20 universal tips on how to cope with fears, as well as find out what causes them and what prevents us from overcoming them. More on this in an article by CogniFit psychologist Ainoa Arrans.

What is fear?

Why does fear arise? Why is it needed? Fear is the primary emotion that warns us of impending danger. He fills us so that we do not miss the approaching threat. Fear paralyzes us in a frightening situation. Have you ever experienced this feeling? Have you ever experienced a panic that made you run away without thinking about the consequences? This is an absolutely logical reaction in such an emotional state.

It is necessary to distinguish between fear and symptoms of anxiety. Fear appears in a very specific situation, for example, when a stranger is following you down an empty street, who, as you think, is following you. Anxiety, on the contrary, is a fairly general, non-specific emotion that occurs in less specific situations. For example, the anxiety we feel when thinking about our future career or when someone criticizes us.

Fear is an adaptive response to physical or psychological threats. However, it does not always occur in the face of real danger. Sometimes it can be caused by cognitive distortions. The level of intensity of fear can vary from its virtually complete absence to absolute panic. In fact, this emotion can become a real nightmare.

When does fear become a phobia?

If the fear of something becomes too great, excessive, it turns into a phobia. A phobia is a psychological disorder, while fear is a normal healthy emotion.

There are different types of phobias: fear of heights, fear of clowns or coulrophobia, fear of growing old, fear of death, etc. Regardless of the reasons that cause such a reaction, all these phobias significantly reduce the quality of life of the people suffering from them, negatively affecting all areas of daily activity. Can you imagine that there are people who are so afraid to go out that they are forced to spend all their time at home, locked up?

However, it is not necessary for fear to reach the size of a phobia in order to poison a person's life. One way or another, these psychological disorders can prevent us from performing even the most familiar daily duties. In this article, you will find recommendations on how to get rid of fear, regardless of its degree and the reason that provokes this feeling.

Why are we afraid?

Fear is a completely habitual reaction that accompanies us throughout our lives. It makes you act quickly and defend yourself against any danger. It helps to increase our physiological activity, encouraging us to fight or run away. Fear is essential for survival.

There are two main theories about how fear is born. The first, classical one, states that if we associate certain elements (snakes, height, etc.) with situations that are harmful and dangerous for us (injuries, anxiety, etc.), we associate these stimuli with each other and thus acquire conditioned reflex of fear.

On the other hand, according to Albert Bandura's social learning theory, we learn by gaining vicarious experience. In other words, by observing other people who are models for us (neighbour, actor, etc.), we learn their behavior and imitate them. If you once witnessed your little brother being stung by a wasp and you noticed his panic, perhaps every time you see a wasp you will run away in fear. According to this theory, we ourselves decide whether we want to apply a certain type of behavior or not, although this is not easy.

Fear can also lead to positive emotions. We like to experience tremors, palpitations, feel tense and frozen in immobility when we are watching a horror movie, comfortably sitting on the couch, or when we are riding a roller coaster. We even look for these sensations when we are sure that we are safe.

It is necessary to learn to manage this emotion from childhood. However, fear of something can begin to be experienced at any age. Moreover, some people are more likely to experience this emotion than others. Our experience also greatly influences how we react to real events. Regardless of what we fear, it is important to remember that it is never too late to conquer fear.

20 Ways to Conquer Fear

In this section, we will give 20 tips and tricks that you can apply on a daily basis. The most important thing is that you must understand that fear sits inside you, no one and nothing forces you to experience it. It may be problematic to think so on the eve of, for example, a responsible exam, but you must remember that you and only you are responsible for your personal growth. You can overcome this fear with the help of planning, with a little effort and willpower.

1. Don't try to deny your fears.

As we pointed out earlier, fear is a gift that helps us survive. We can also see it in animals in dangerous situations. Fortunately, our body warns us of an approaching threat. Can you imagine what will happen if you don't hide when you see a tiger in the room? Learning to coexist with this emotion is vital. Whatever unpleasant moments we have to endure, we should be grateful for fear.

2. Get to know yourself better

Introspection helps to increase our comfort level. It allows us to understand how we feel or what we want to be, how to act. There is no need to explore deeply what are the roots of our fear, for example, of snakes. However, understanding what stimuli cause us to feel bad emotions can help us develop effective and precise strategies to counter them.

3. Admit your fear

You are human. Living and acting as if fear doesn't exist is counterproductive. Fear does not make you weaker or less respected. It does not matter if the object of your fear is unusual or embarrassing, it is still understandable, and there are people who can support you. Your fear will not disappear just because you ignore it. Recognizing fear is the first step towards overcoming it.

4. Rationalize your fears

The fear of fire is absolutely understandable if we see a fire. However, if every time we light an electric stove, we think about a fire, then we reason illogically. You need to think about the likelihood with which any events can occur, and act accordingly. This will help get rid of unpleasant cognitive processes.

5. Watch other people deal with fear

There are quite common types of fears - for example, the fear of being fired or the fear of blood. It doesn't matter if the cause of your fear is atypical: remember that this emotion causes similar feelings in everyone. The only difference is the degree of intensity that you can control. It is very helpful to recognize that this emotion is natural and observe how other people deal with it.

6. Boost your self-esteem

Some types of fears, such as the fear of communication, are very upsetting to the people who experience them. This can negatively affect self-esteem. "I'm a loser, dumbass." "No one wants a weakling like me." Such thoughts are harmful and can provoke cognitive distortions that can significantly poison our lives.

In some cases, these beliefs can lead to deep inner discomfort and, as a result, severe psychological problems. Fear should not affect your self-esteem. Remember that we are all human and that any person can experience fears, however, we are always able to find a reasonable solution in any situation.

7. Take care of yourself

It is obvious that taking care of your physical and mental health is always beneficial. When we lead a healthy lifestyle (of course, within reasonable limits, obsessing over sports and proper nutrition not worth it), we feel great, our efficiency and working capacity increase. Therefore, when we feel healthy, able to take care of ourselves, the fear of getting sick is reduced.

8. Don't avoid the object of your fear

If, out of fear of flying, we give up airplanes, or if out of fear of defeat, we lead a mediocre life, we will thereby put up barriers for ourselves. Perhaps even the very thought of having to face the object of your fear causes you extreme anxiety. It's possible that avoiding scary situations may help for a while, but in the long run it will only feed your fears. You have to face your fears.

9. Try relaxation techniques

When we are paralyzed by fear from which we want to run or hide, we can use various techniques to remain calm, such as breathing. You can also start counting in your head - until you calm down. In this way, you can reduce the symptoms of fear and distract from negative thoughts.

10. Challenge yourself a little.

Conquering fear takes time and constant effort on your part. Try to visualize what you fear first. For example, if you are afraid to play sports, imagine yourself playing with a ball. Visualizing yourself successfully doing things that scare you will help you feel more confident.

It may be difficult at first, but it will get easier and easier each time. Such exercises form the basis of exposure therapy. You are gradually shown fear-provoking stimuli until you learn to manage your emotions. For example, a person who is afraid of snakes might start by looking at a picture of a small snake, and so on until he feels comfortable being around a real cobra.

11. Don't face your biggest fear directly.

It's great that you've decided to overcome your fear, but don't do it too abruptly. The exposure method involves a gradual approach to a given goal under the guidance of a specialist. Independent attempts to abruptly overcome your fear, for example, grabbing a tarantula with your hand, or, going on stage, singing in front of an audience of thousands, can be completely counterproductive and aggravate the situation.

12. Motivate yourself

Think about how you can reward yourself for overcoming your fear. For example, if you are afraid to drive a car, imagine how great it would be to go on an exciting journey in your own car to an interesting place that you have long dreamed of, without depending on other people. It's hard to concentrate on that positive thought the moment you get behind the wheel. However, if we think not about accidents, but about a pleasant vacation, we will be distracted from negative thoughts.

13. Reward yourself for success

If you're afraid to ride an elevator and the thought of getting stuck in one shocks you, think of a reward for the day you dare to ride the elevator. For example, a package of your favorite sweets or going to the movies. It is important that you yourself recognize your success and want to move on.

14. Mark your progress

Keeping a diary of observations is very useful, especially in situations where you suddenly start to become depressed because of the fear itself or for another reason. However, if you look into your diary, read about your successes, this will help you feel a sense of pride and continue to move forward, become even more effective. The path to success is not always smooth, ups and downs are possible. However, perseverance and determination will help achieve excellent results. In addition, the very fact of keeping records will help you blow off steam and reduce anxiety.

15. Get the support of loved ones

Even if your friends or loved ones don't share your fear, they know the feeling. You will feel better if you share with them your feelings about being afraid to drive in the fog or to communicate with your boss. It is likely that your interlocutors have gone through a similar experience and can give you valuable advice. However, even just their support and participation can help you cope with any challenge.

16. Talk to people who share your fear.

Find people who are going through the same thing as you, it will help you a lot. If you feel like your fear is unusual, or if you feel shy, feel misunderstood, or find it difficult to discuss it with someone, try talking to someone in the same situation (in person or even online). This will help you open up, share experiences, learn something useful for yourself that did not occur to you yourself.

17. Don't be afraid of criticism

Often, no matter what fear we seek to overcome - cycling, falling or speaking English, our steps to overcome these fears can be criticized when we make mistakes or do not succeed.

We all stumble sometimes. Most likely, others do not think about us as often as we think. And when someone criticizes us, you should not pay attention to negative comments - we lose much more by giving up our attempts.

18. Take advantage of new technologies

Scientific and technological advances offer us tremendous opportunities to overcome fear. There are already virtual reality-based therapies that allow people to face their fears in complete safety. In addition, there are more simple ways- for example, various mobile applications developed for a similar purpose.

In particular, special programs have been created for people suffering from aerophobia (fear of flying). These apps provide flight safety data and offer a variety of anxiety-reducing exercises. Programs for children have also been developed to get rid of the fear of the dark with the help of various games and others, for example, helping to overcome the fear of speaking in front of an audience.

19. Filter sources of information

There is a huge amount of information on the Internet that can exacerbate our fears. For example, if you are afraid of illness or terrorist attacks, try not to read this news. The flow of redundant information can make it difficult for us to fight our fears and sometimes even force us to make the wrong decisions.

20. Seek professional help if necessary

Success in the fight against fear is not always entirely dependent on ourselves. If you suffer from a phobia that prevents you from leading a normal life, it is recommended to consult an experienced specialist.