How to get a guy to like you if you are friends. How to please your husband's friends

Life is such an unpredictable thing that sometimes it gives us many surprises. For example, a person who for a long time was just a close friend to you becomes something more. In such a situation, most girls are lost, because they simply do not know what to do if they like a friend. In this case, we offer you a list of tips on how to act in order to please your friend and build a closer relationship with him.

Friendships are sometimes much more valuable than all steel ones, so ask yourself: "why do I like my best friend?" and "am I ready to sacrifice the relationship that we have now?". If sympathy is much stronger, then fight!

Psychological reception

Puzzling over how to please a friend, you should turn to the laws of psychology. According to Freud's works, there is a so-called "swing effect". The use of this method consists in a constant cardinal change of stimuli. A person is either rejected, or plentifully encouraged with caresses and approvals. When a friend expects praise from you - scold and reject, when on the contrary there should be a reproach - praise and encourage. Such behavior, as a rule, shakes the human psyche and forces him to obey the experimenter. This method is quite strong and does not have a 100% result. In case of failure, you will cause in your loved one hatred and violent denial of everything connected with you.

Appearance

Pay attention to your figure, especially to those parts that your friend likes in girls. Choose clothes that emphasize all the advantages and hide the flaws. Give preference to the red color, it will talk about your natural sexuality and send subconscious signals to the young man.

Sight

If you want to please your friend like a girl and not like a friend, learn to play with your eyes. It should be attentive and somewhat intimate. Try to hold your gaze on the object of desire a little longer than usual. Just do not do it defiantly, otherwise you will scare the victim away. The most successful option is to slightly lower your eyelids and look askance, as if furtively. As soon as a friend notices your observations, immediately look away. Such behavior will give a man a signal that he is being spied on, and this teasing sensation simply cannot leave anyone indifferent.

hair games

Tossing your hair out of your face, brushing up your hair gracefully and shaking your hair are signs that you are preening for a man, so do them in front of your friend, he will definitely not leave them unattended. But be careful, such gestures focus on your hair, so they must be flawless.

flirt

Not a single girl, if she wants to attract the attention of a guy, should not forget about her main trump cards:

  • make sure that your lips are always moist and attractive, and keep your mouth slightly open;
  • when talking, unobtrusively show your wrists;
  • try to make your voice slightly languid and erotic;
  • do not forget about the cat's gait with the swaying of the hips, the best assistant in this matter will be shoes with heels.

Flaws

Show your favorite friend your little flaws regarding appearance or character. This is a kind of manifestation of your feminine weaknesses. Next to such a girl, the guy will be comfortable, as he will feel his superiority. Small flaws and shortcomings give the image of a woman a certain warmth and humanity.

Emphasize

Direct your attention to the object of desire, and do not focus it on yourself. This method will increase a person’s self-esteem and develop a certain reflex in him, which is comfortable and good for the mind with this girl. Thus, he will strive to spend more time with you and be around you more often.

Before starting your actions, break through the ground under your feet - find out from your friends how this or that person treats you. Ask your friends the following questions: “how does he feel about me?”, “what does he think of me?”, “does my friend like me?”. Once you have the information you need, take action.

As you can see, there are many ways to make your friend feel more than friendly. But everything is much more complicated if you periodically catch yourself thinking "I like my boyfriend's friend." But what to do, you can’t order your heart. Use the same methods, only the main thing is not in the presence of your young man. It may also happen that the object of your desires will experience similar feelings, but will not be able to show them because of male solidarity and friendship. In such a situation, there is only one way out - break up with your boyfriend and begin to actively show signs of interest to his friend. In this case, you are much more likely to reciprocate.

Want a guy to be as crazy about you as you are about him? Of course, it is impossible to force a person to experience certain feelings, but you can make some efforts and give a chance to these feelings to develop. Here are a few useful tips about how to charm a guy, while remaining yourself.

Steps

Part 1

Focus on yourself

    Be confident. You have to show the other person how wonderful you are, but first you need to understand and realize how wonderful you are. Develop self-confidenceif you lack it. This does not mean that you have to be loud, noisy, arrogant and chatty. You just have to be yourself.

    • You can be secretive, sweet and shy at the same time. But be prepared to throw off your shackles. Guys love confident people interesting girls who are in control of their own lives.
    • Some guys are attracted to insecure girls. Their goal is to dominate them, as they themselves are also insecure. And who wants to be with a guy who makes you feel bad about yourself and who constantly tells you what to do? This is an unhealthy relationship and you deserve more.

  1. Try to look your best. No, don't pretend to be someone else, just try to look great around the guy you like. Guys love with their eyes, so an attractive appearance will give you a better chance. The secret here is simple - when a girl looks her best, she feels her best, while exuding self-confidence.

    • A little makeup doesn't hurt. You don't need to paint your face with all the colors of the rainbow, but good mascara will open your eyes, lip balm will make your smile more attractive, and tweezers will help get rid of bushy eyebrows.
    • Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Don't try to fit into a tight skirt that you normally never wear. Jeans that fit well and a top that brings out the color of your eyes is a simple yet bold combination.
    • Smile more - studies have shown that people become more attractive to others when they smile, so bare your snow-white teeth more often to be not only more attractive, but also more welcoming.

  2. Show you . The guy will not pay attention to you if he does not know about your existence. If you haven't caught his eye yet, make sure he notices you. Make sure you show your interest and give him a little hint that you like him.

    • Many guys don't start the conversation first because they're afraid of being rejected. Do you walk first before you start running? Say hello, say goodbye Make a start! If he responds, then you will know that you have caught his attention.
    • [[Introduce yourself|Introduce yourself and start a conversation. It is impossible to please a person who does not know you at all.

  3. Joke and laugh at the jokes of others . With a sense of humor, everything is easier. This does not mean that you need to turn into a clown, laugh at everything, but do not be too serious and be ready to accept everything with a laugh, especially if your potential boyfriend is somewhere nearby.

    • If you constantly walk with a serious "mine", you will be considered closed and inaccessible, and this is completely useless to you.
    • Joke your way. Some people are witty and sarcastic, others tell funny jokes, and others just do stupid things and everyone laughs at them.
    • Whatever makes you laugh, it's much easier if you can laugh at something with the person you like. If you have nothing to joke about together, then maybe it’s not worth trying?

  4. Show that you are free. A guy will not approach you if he thinks that you are busy, therefore, your task is to make him understand that you are free and ready to start a relationship.

Part 2

Get to know each other

  1. Don't be afraid to be his friend. Becoming a friend of a guy will give you two big benefits: you will get to know each other better and you will avoid a relationship with mutual obligations. Act like you want to be friends with him - act natural and be caring around him.

    • Guys are usually more open with guys than with girls, but that doesn't mean you can't get close - miracles do happen.
    • Be careful - if the friendship becomes too platonic, there will be no room for romance, and getting out of the friend zone is oh so difficult.
    • If this happens, then the situation will become much more complicated and, most likely, you will give up without achieving your goal. Add some flirting to your friendships and things will get better.

  2. Talk to him. Seems obvious, doesn't it? But you will actually be talking to the guy you like (rather than looking at him from a distance). This is very important if you want to please him.

    • Ask interesting questions; learn more about his life, family, friends; tell him some interesting stories. Something to help you develop an interesting dialogue.
    • If you find a topic that a guy can talk about with passion - be it his favorite sport game, group or author - then consider that you have won. If he talks to you about what he loves, then this means that he begins to share his positive emotions with you!

  3. Give him a compliment. It's amazing, but guys love compliments just as much as girls, so don't be afraid to say something nice to him from time to time. Of course, do not shower him with far-fetched compliments - you will be mistaken for an insincere person.

    • Compliment him on his looks, dimples, or a cool new hairstyle. The main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise the guy will be embarrassed. A simple phrase like: "I like the color of your eyes" is enough.
    • However, do not focus only on appearance. If he talks about something with interest, then say what you like, with what passion he talks about it. Rate his sporting achievements or a project he did in class.

  4. Find common hobbies. Find activities that both of you enjoy, which will create a special bond between you, and he will be able to appreciate what an interesting person you are. Once he sees that you are someone who can share his interests and passions with him, he may begin to see you as his potential girlfriend.

    • If he wants to become a football star, quickly find information about the nearest football event and go there with him. Does he like climbing? Try it too - you might like it an exciting activity. Be open to everything new.
    • You can also invite him to share some of your interests. For example, you can bring him to a dance class or invite him to cook Chinese food. Be the person who can show him something new.

  5. Find common interests. Find what unites you and use it! Shared interests are the foundation of many successful relationships, so by all means don't skip this step.

    • It doesn't matter what kind of hobby it is. You can just quote "Family Guy" or do astrophysics - the main thing is to appear before him in a favorable light.
    • For example, if you both like the same music, then ask him if he has heard this or that artist or let him listen to the disc. Or, if your favorite band is coming to your city, then go to a concert together.

  6. Get to know his friends. Guys value friends, so a potential girlfriend needs to get to know them. It is important to take the time to get to know his friends and show them that you are a "cool girl". The guy will see how organically you can enter his life - without problems and dramas.

    • If you can win the trust of his friends, then this will be a good bonus. They will support you and remind you of you, even when you are not near the object of your adoration. That way you will always be on his mind.
    • Be careful. Don't flirt with his friends. This may lead to conflict.

Part 3

Take Further Steps

  1. Flirt. Have you already met and often spend time together? Alright, now it's time to take the next steps. Show that you consider him more than your friend by flirting with him - this will be the first hint that he should ask you out on a date.

    • Smile. Smile every time you see this guy - let him know that you are happy to see him. Even when he is in the company of other people, smile the most at him alone.
    • Look into his eyes. This is an important part of flirting. One great way is to look at him from across the room and then when he catches your eye, smile and look away. He will be intrigued.
    • Maintain physical contact. Another flirting technique is to touch the guy not as a friend. Lightly stroke his arm when talking, give him a hug when you meet him, or ruffle his hair when you're joking. This will quickly let him know that you are interested in him.

  2. Send him an SMS. If you have his number (and if not, be sure to take it), then you can write him various nonsense to let him know that you have been thinking about him all day. Write funny or flirtatious messages; if he responds in kind, you are on the right track.

    • For example, if he has an important match or exam on his nose, you can send him an SMS with good luck wishes. He will find it cute that you remember this.
    • However, try not to overdo it and remember the rule: if after two SMS in a row you do not receive a response, then it is better to stop. Be patient.

  3. Invite him to go somewhere. If you only saw each other in the company of friends or employees, then it is time to invite him to go somewhere just the two of you. It doesn't have to be a three-course dinner in an expensive restaurant, a simple cafe or lunch in a shopping center will be enough.

    • He agreed? Great. He is probably not indifferent to you and your company is pleasant to him - this good sign. Don't worry too much - you're just hanging out as friends, right?
    • If he refuses, don't be upset. He may have a good reason, or he may just be embarrassed to be alone with you. Wait a bit and try again. If he refuses a second time, then this is a sure sign that he is not interested in you.

  4. Say you like him. At the end of the day, after all the worries and expectations, you will be able to do it. Sometimes the best way out is to tell the guy directly how you feel and ask him how he feels. No matter what his response is, eventually you will open up your feelings and be able to either find a new relationship or keep moving on.

    • Don't believe the myths that guys are supposed to come out first. In reality, guys love strong, confident girls who know what they want. Only the fact that you dared to confess can impress the guy, and he will say the coveted “yes”.
    • Never ask anyone else to ask a guy how he feels. This is childish and will increase the likelihood that the guy will say no. Even if you are very shy, a text message or a note will be more effective than a "send a friend" method.

  5. Be patient. Such things take time. You can't force someone to like you, and trying to speed up the process can ruin everything. Give him freedom and don't be intrusive. Let everything take its course.

    • In the end, he will tell you if he has mutual sympathy for you. And if not, then don't circle around him like a lost puppy. Sometimes people just don't fit together and don't notice it, and sometimes a guy just might not be ready for a long-term relationship.
    • Don't take rejection too personally. It happens to all of us from time to time.
    • The world did not converge on him like a wedge - be sure of yourself, you will definitely meet the guy you deserve.

  6. Pay attention to his feelings. After all, you can't control what other people think and do. He may be the object of your interest, but don't be sure that you are the center of his universe.

    • Look at the situation from the other side. If there is a guy who likes you and who you don't like, can anything change your mind? No.
    • The reality is that you either like it or you don't. You will find it attractive or not. Funny or not. All he can hope for is to do everything in his power and count on your consent.
    • The reverse is also true - do your best; He will either love you back or he won't.
  • Guys love girls with personality, so be yourself! Don't change for a guy, let him love you for who you are, and not the girl you turned into for him.
  • Always smile ! This is a time-tested way to invite a guy to hang out. No expensive cosmetics, no movie tickets - just a sincere smile, and the guy will definitely pay attention to you! (Remember to brush your teeth regularly to keep them white!)
  • Being yourself is good, but not always. If you are rude, you have few friends, work on yourself. Try to be more polite with other people, take care of their feelings. But don't be too polite or others will think you're faking it. Then everything will work out.
  • If there is no hint from him that he is interested in you, this does not necessarily mean that this is really the case. Maybe he's just shy or a little scared, especially if he hasn't dated anyone for a long time or this is his first time. Be patient, but don't pester him. Just let him know that the door is still open and he can knock on it.
  • Make sure it's free. If you're trying to get the attention of a guy who already has a girlfriend and you know it, you're interfering with someone else's relationship, and that's not fair. Claim it only if it's free. If he quits his current passion now, then what to expect in your relationship? There are guys who run from one skirt to another and get fed up with women. To many of us they are known as "womanizers", but to their ex-girlfriends they are "males". Avoid, avoid, avoid is our only advice.
  • Don't show your boyfriend how much you love him. This is a big mistake for many girls, as a guy can start using it.
  • Some people prefer to become friends first. Others try to avoid the friend zone. Ideally, there should be a little bit of everything - first friendship, then romantic interest.
  • Don't talk about other guys with the guy you're interested in. You might think that this is a way to show how "in demand" you are. But a person who is looking for a long-term relationship will think that you are frivolous. To be honest, it's not the best way to impress a guy, it's more of a good way to get rid of him.
  • You should be aware that some guys mature later than others ("Peter Pan Syndrome"). In that case, you better stop instead of waiting for this guy to make the decision to grow up. You don't want to be someone's mom.
  • Be kind to him - don't "choke" him or be too demanding.
  • Look into his eyes. If you look at the floor or the ceiling, you may appear to be nervous.

Warnings

  • If your friends are not yet ready for such news, then it is better not to tell them about the guy. They will immediately begin to stare at him and giggle in his presence. They may even begin to wash his bones. At worst, they will bombard him with a lot of questions like, "What do you think of Angela?" With such girlfriends, he will not last long.
    • You should not look for pimps. If this is really an enviable groom, peers will begin to put pressure on him with phrases like: “At least take a look at her”, “Invite her for a cup of coffee” or “What is wrong with her? Give her a chance." Often in such situations, pimps do not say that the girl is actually interested in the guy, but only focus on the fact that she is free. As a rule, matchmakers and panders are attracted by those who are afraid to take the first step and be rejected. If you like someone, take the first step. Don't involve other people in relationships that haven't even started yet. Among other things, they may misinterpret his reaction. The guy will be grateful to you if you express your sympathy to him personally, and do not make him the object of gossip.
  • Don't blow up and tell him you like him or he won't take you seriously. Wait a little, first get to know him properly.
  • Try not to advertise it too much, that is, you should not talk too much about yourself in a conversation. When you talk, feel free to ask him questions. Be careful with words, because the wrong thing to say can lead to a very awkward moment.
  • Don't confuse kindness and politeness with the fact that he actually likes you. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish between these things, but if you pay attention, you will understand. If you just got out of a "bad" relationship, a lot of guys, especially older ones, take on the role of "big brother". Then they perceive the relationship as completely platonic, which forever confuses subsequent romantic relationships.
  • Never play "mind games" or send ambiguous signals. This will confuse the guy. This is not a sign of intelligence - it is a sign of insecurity and lack of courage.
  • Trying to "make" a certain person fall in love with you is manipulation, which hardly anyone wants to be the object of. Be open to communication. Take a closer look, maybe that nice guy from the class who smiles at you is the ONLY one if you are already disappointed in your ambitions. Let's remember the words of Maya Angelou: "...hope for the best, prepare for the worst and do something between these two things." You will find that very guy, and when he appears on the horizon, you should not expect him to put on armor and ride to you on a noble horse. It will never be perfect, but it will be good. Do not doubt.
  • If you told your friends and they pester him with questions, tell them abruptly to stop, and if they don't stop then ignore as soon as they start talking about him. Joke with him, say that your friends are immature, which cannot be said about you. He will like to see that you are not acting like a funny eight-year-old girl, like your friends.
  • If these tips work "too" strongly and he becomes too intrusive, calm him down and don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Joseph Fanelli

Psychotherapist, teacher specializing in sexuality and relationships.

1. Speak without speaking

Even before you strike up a conversation with a guy, your body will tell him a lot. And the first thing he will notice is how physically attractive you are.

It's not just about beauty. If you are fit and well built, then you are able to give birth to healthy offspring.

Another important aspect is whether you show interest. Of course, you don’t need to hang yourself around your neck, but it’s very desirable to subtly hint that a man has a chance.

This can be shown using two tricks. First, blink more often, because we naturally begin to do this when we are excited. Secondly, lean a little towards the interlocutor: this is also a non-verbal signal of interest.

We like people with whom we have a lot in common. Therefore, your task is to find common ground with the guy you like. For example, you can agree on a love of music or, if there are few common interests, try to get into what he likes.

At the beginning of dating, the easiest way to show similarity is to use the chameleon effect.

Try to take the same posture as a man, imitate his movements and gestures, use the words and phrases that he includes in his speech.

Being an exact and synchronous copy is not worth it: it's too obvious. Try to anticipate the movements of the interlocutor or, in general, repeat them after a few seconds.

3. Stay visible

The more we see a person, the more we like him. This is confirmed by science. In one study Proximity and Peership: Bases of Balance in Interpersonal Attraction residents of a student dormitory were asked to rate their attitude towards their neighbors. It turned out that boys and girls liked those who lived nearby more: in neighboring rooms or on the nearest floors.

IN ordinary life this means that if you and the guy attend the same place (university, courses, gym), then you have a better chance of liking him.

6. Make him a fan of hugs

When hugging, the body releases oxytocin, which enhances the feeling of closeness. So hug the guy you are interested in at a meeting and parting, during joyful moments and just like that.

7. Find what makes you happy

Ultimately, it all boils down to interesting people interesting to be together. So do not waste time to lure someone into your networks, but look for. Happiness and passion are attractive in themselves. Become the one who radiates them.

Friends are an important part of any man's life, so getting to know them, their interests and hobbies can tell you a lot about a new chosen one. At the same time, it is important to pay attention to how the guy introduces the girl to his friends, what he says at the same time and whether he makes any hints about a joint future.

They are greeted by clothes ...

When going to a meeting with his friends, you need to be prepared for the fact that not only you will evaluate your boyfriend's inner circle. His friends will scrutinize you too, so it's important to make the right first impression on them.

Meeting a girl with friends is for a guy important step, because in this way he, perhaps for the first time, emphasizes the seriousness of his intentions and the desire for long-term relationships. If everything goes well, then it will be possible to prepare for the next stage - meeting with parents and close relatives.

Acquaintance of a girl with friends is an important step for a guy, because in this way he, perhaps, for the first time emphasizes the seriousness of his intentions ...

Of course, a young man really wants his friends to say something like: “She's just super! You're really lucky!" How to please a man's friends? There are a few rules for how to behave with a guy's friends at the first meeting that you should keep in mind. They will help to avoid unnecessary awkwardness and misunderstandings.

  1. Carefully crafted image. Clothes, hairstyle, makeup, manicure - on this day everything should be perfect. It would be good to clarify in advance in what environment the meeting will take place in order to dress appropriately. But even if the acquaintance will take place in a nightclub, you should not look too defiant or deliberately sexy. You have to dress to look and feel like a queen. After all, no one has canceled the rule: “they meet by clothes”.
  2. Smart communication. In a conversation with friends, it is important to strike a balance - not to be too talkative, but also not to sit quietly on the sidelines. You can prepare a few questions in advance (by first asking your lover about his friends) that will help to keep the conversation unobtrusive. You should not try to be “on the board” from the first meeting, and in no case should you enter into disputes. People who know how to smooth sharp corners are always valuable, unlike those who like to defend their opinion.
  3. Restrained behavior. Demonstrate your feelings at the first meeting with friends: constantly hugging, calling a young man affectionate nicknames etc. is the movieton. From the outside, it will look vulgar and is unlikely to add pluses to you. It is also not necessary to say in a conversation: “we thought”, “we want”. Such phrases give the impression that your boyfriend is henpecked. And of course, you should not share with your friends your general plans for the future, for example, where you dream of spending your honeymoon.

... escorted by mind

Girls make some common mistakes when meeting guys' friends. Firstly, you can’t pretend that you are super busy and spend most of the meeting on the phone, texting in a variety of social networks and instant messengers. This can hurt your friends a lot, because they may think that you are simply not interested in being in their company.

Secondly, you can’t even try to half-hint ask friends about a man’s past. Of course, I want to learn more about him and quickly, but not through friends, especially at the first meeting. Male solidarity is a real and strong thing.

In a conversation with friends, it is important to strike a balance - not to be too talkative, but also not to sit quietly on the sidelines.

Thirdly, you should not single out one of your friends with your attention, even if he is really the most charming in the company. Light flirting is acceptable, but nothing more. When showing his friends all his best sides in order to please them, it is important not to overdo it, because the guy may well turn out to be jealous.

When going to meet a guy's friends, remember that your goal is to make him proud that he has such a girlfriend. It is important to win over friends and unobtrusively convey to them the idea that you are the ideal girl for him. Restraint, modesty, but at the same time self-confidence and awareness of one's own merits is the best tactic of behavior when meeting a guy's friends.