Commandment: “The wife does not own her own body, but the husband…” (1 Corinthians 7:4). What does the Bible say about sex? Satan did not tempt you because of your intemperance

According to St. John Chrysostom, peace in family relationships should not be sacrificed to abstinence. He speaks of this when commenting on the passage in the First Epistle to the Corinthians of the Apostle Paul, which already in his era was understood by some Christian women as a call for a complete renunciation of conjugal communion.

Here is a quote from the letter of the Apostle Paul: "And about what you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, in order to avoid fornication, each one has his own wife, and each one has her husband. husband. A wife has no power over her own body, but a husband does, and likewise a husband has no power over his own body, but a wife. lest Satan tempt you with your intemperance. However, I said this as a permission, and not as a command. For I desire that all people be like me; but each has his own gift from God, one in this way, another in that way (1 Cor 7 :1-7).

The apostle writes in the same Epistle 11:20-34 that it is necessary to distinguish between Eucharistic meals and to prepare for them in a special way. Thus, for the Apostle Paul, married life is a space of freedom in love; this is an internal affair of the family, which is not subject to any other regulation than mutual consent and Eucharistic piety.

Explaining these words of the apostle, St. John Chrysostom focuses on the fact that the family is a sacrament of two, therefore decisions in it cannot be made alone; they are as common as married life is. The key word for him in the above quote is the word "consent".

St. John Chrysostom explains this passage from the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Corinthians as follows: “Do not deprive yourself of one another, only by agreement (1 Corinthians 7:5) – what does this mean? - Against the will of the wife. Why? Because from this abstinence comes a great evil; from this often there were adulteries, fornications and domestic disorder. For if others, having their wives, indulge in adultery, much more will they indulge in it when they are deprived of this He said well: do not deprive yourselves: what here he called deprivation, he called debt above (1 Cor. So, if you take something from me with my consent, it will not be a deprivation for me, depriving one who takes against his will and by force.

Many wives do this, committing a great sin against justice and thus giving their husbands a pretext for debauchery and leading to disorder. Unanimity should be preferred to everything; it matters most. If you want, we will prove it by experience. Let there be a wife and a husband, and let the wife abstain when the husband does not want it. What will happen? Will he not commit adultery, or, if he does not commit adultery, will he not grieve, worry, inflame, quarrel and cause much trouble to his wife? What is the use of fasting and abstinence when love is violated? No. How much grief will inevitably arise from this, how much trouble, how much strife!

The Christian piety of one of the spouses should not cause pain and suffering to the other. Marriage is a mutual gift; each of the two brings himself, his life as a gift to the other, and it is not customary to take such gifts back. St. John Chrysostom rejects the idea of ​​filth, which marital bonds allegedly darken those who are united by them.

This idea is found in late Judaism and in a number of Gnostic sects of the 2nd-4th centuries, today we find it in totalitarian sects, but it is not inherent in Christianity. Marital relations do not defile, it is another matter that they distract from prayer, but nothing more. But on the other hand, how is communication with God possible, the price of which is confusion and grief in the soul of a person who shares his fate with you? The choice of celibacy is possible before marriage, but not in it.

The conflict between personal piety and peace in the family must be resolved in favor of peace, otherwise the unity for which the spouses asked for the blessing of the Church in the sacrament of the wedding will be under threat of termination.

“If in a house a husband and wife do not agree with each other, then their house is no better than a ship overwhelmed by the waves, on which the helmsman does not agree with the helmsman. and prayer. Here he means prayer, performed with special care, because if he forbade those who copulate to pray, then where would the time for unceasing prayer come from (1 Thessalonians 5:17)?

Therefore, it is possible to copulate with a wife and pray, but with abstinence, prayer is more perfect. He did not just say, pray, but abide, because the (marriage) affair only distracts from this, and does not produce defilement. And then be together again, lest Satan tempt you (1 Corinthians 7:5). Lest you think that this is a law, add a reason. What? Don't let Satan tempt you. And so that you know that it is not the devil who is only guilty of adultery, he adds: because of your intemperance (1 Corinthians 7:5).

Does it follow from these words of St. John Chrysostom that Christian spouses should ignore fasting times? Not at all. He speaks here of a completely different thing - of a hierarchy of values ​​and recalls what is really bad and what is not, although he distracts from prayer.

Fasting is a time of intense prayer, hence the tradition of abstinence during fasting. But if in food everyone decides for himself how much and what he can afford, then in matters family relations it is necessary to take into account the opinion of the other spouse, moreover, it is this opinion that becomes decisive in these matters, even if even this causes some damage to the prayerful mood of the more ascetic of them.

Here, as in mountain climbing: the group focuses not on the strongest, but on the weakest and most inexperienced, and builds its own mode of movement, based precisely on its capabilities and level of training. We must ascend, but we must ascend together. Otherwise, everyone may die.

***

On marital relations during fasting:

• There is no fixed charter of marital relations- Deacon Andrei Kuraev
• - Hieromonk Dimitry Pershin
• About abstinence in the marital bed- Lilia Malakhova
• Do spouses need to repent of "fornication" ... with each other?- Archpriest Andrey Dudchenko
• Concerning Spousal Abstinence During Lent- Priest Jacob Korobkov

***

That is why the Church does not regulate the rhythm and measure of marital relations, drawing only two restrictive lines: they are excluded on the eve of the sacrament of baptism and communion. Yes this minimum level, starting, so to speak. And then - each family has its own circumstances and its own path to God.

About what these paths can be, the modern Athos ascetic, the elder Paisios Svyatogorets, wrote in one of his letters as follows: “You ask me about the marital relations of married priests and laity. The Holy Fathers do not give precise definitions of how these relationship.This means that marital relationship is a topic that cannot be clearly defined, since all people cannot live according to one pattern.The question of marital relationship the Fathers leave to the judgment, piety, spiritual sensitivity and strength of each person.

In order to be more understandable, I will give examples from the life of people who are ascetic - married priests and laity. These people are still alive and I know them. Among them there are those who, having created a family, entered into marital intimacy and gave birth to one, two or three children, after which they live in virginity. Others enter into marital intimacy once a year for the sake of having children, and the rest of the time they live as brother and sister. Still others abstain from marital relations during fasting, and then enter into marital intimacy. The fourth fails even to do this. There are spouses who have fellowship in the middle of the week so that they can be clean three days before Divine Communion and three days after It. Others stumble on this as well. Therefore, appearing after His Resurrection to the apostles, Christ, having given them the power to forgive sins, first of all said to them: “As the Father has sent Me, and I am sending you ... Receive the Holy Spirit. ". The goal is for everyone to strive with discernment and piety, in accordance with their spiritual powers.

Of course, youth gets in the way at first. But over time, the flesh weakens and the spirit can take the dominant position. And when this happens, even married people begin to taste something small from divine pleasures. They naturally move away from carnal pleasures, which they already look at as completely insignificant. Thus, people living in marriage are purified in some way and, climbing the easy, gentle, winding path, come to Paradise. Whereas the monks ascend to Paradise, going straight - vertically, climbing the rocks.

You should also keep in mind that the problem of marital relations is not only your problem and you do not have the right to regulate this issue yourself, but, as the Apostle Paul writes: “by agreement”, attention is also needed. A strong spouse should put himself in the place of a weak one. [...] Forgive me for going into someone else's garden, for the business of a monk is the rosary, and not such topics." Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain of blessed memory. Words. Vol. 4. Family life. Suroti, Thessaloniki: Monastery of St. Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian, Moscow: Holy Mountain, 2005, pp. 69-72.

The latter also applies to me, but I had to write this text in connection with the controversy that unfolded on various resources regarding my interview with the Interfax agency, in which, unfortunately, I had to cut these extensive quotations, which are important for understanding the position of the Church on this issue.

Dimitri Pershin, hieromonk

***

P.S. On the material about. Demetrius published a whole series of critical articles. I can't resist expressing support for Fr. Dimitri.

Publication about. Demetrius that there are formally no canonical prohibitions on marital relations during fasting, which means that if spouses enter into them for any reason, this is not a sin, a sin that destroys fasting, especially a mortal sin.

Yes, the unanimous opinion of the Church is that abstinence during fasting for spouses is DESIRABLE, PREFERRED.

But there should also be indulgence towards the infirmities of people, especially in the period of youth. Above all virtues is LOVE. Fasting should not be the cause of discord in the family.

I have always been struck by the ease with which many pastors continue to quote someone's expressed zeal out of reason that it is imperative to abstain from each other during pregnancy and lactation.

You can imagine a normal 20 - 25 year old guy to be with a young beautiful wife living under one roof, wouldn't you wish it for a year?

I will say harshly, but from the bottom of my heart - I would make all the "zealots" of piety from the monasteries (this wind of pastoral folly blows most often from there), repeating about complete abstinence during pregnancy and lactation, I would force them to live in a one-room apartment with some young woman one year. Then I would see what songs they would sing about pious temperance. Yes, this is no normal man will not tolerate.

I have the impression that there are a lot of impotent people on the forums who agree with all this ... Or they don't like their wives. Or are they single...

A beloved wife is always desirable, just like a husband. I will say more - it is only in fornication that every new woman always causes violent passion. With a long marriage, if there is no REAL LOVE between spouses, close relationships subside and even stop. And if after 15 - 20 years of living together the mutual attraction to each other remains strong, then this is not a sign of fornication, but a sign of preserved LOVE, MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVENESS. Who lives in a happy marriage, they will understand me ...

Marital relations are such a delicate thing, you can’t operate with patterns here. It is advisable to abstain - yes, but if there was intimacy - what is this mortal sin? From the point of view of sound asceticism, it is impossible to force high degree abstinence young people who simply have hormones and health are in full swing. Another question is that it is easier for 40-year-olds to abstain ...

By the way, I have never heard that any of the priests who write on this topic said - we should not take the feats of abstinence to the young, we need to think about this at an age, but we must say so.

Still, fasting for many days is not the norm for a Christian's life - it is a kind of higher spiritual state, and if someone did not pull this feat, did he fall to hell? I emphasize neither I, and I think, nor Father Dimitry and Fr. Daniil Sysoev (who expresses similar thoughts) does not defend the kindling of sexual lust.

The conversation is about a condescending attitude towards those that cannot endure, and at the same time suffer, thinking that this is sinning, almost a mortal sin.

Sexual relations are an area where even God does not interfere. The only restriction that God's revelation gives is abstinence during menstruation.

We will be saved by the fulfillment of the two main commandments - Love for God and Love for our neighbor. How does legal conjugal intercourse with mutual words of love with tenderness violate these commandments? That from this wife will love God less?

I think that many adherents of abstinence are based on the false idea that marital relations are some kind of abomination, sin, and that relationships are only for childbearing ... then why was the opportunity for orgasm given to a person?

But this is not so ... but gluttony is a sin, and fornication is a sin ... But food indulgence in fasting and marital relations cannot be a sin.

“I want mercy, not sacrifice,” says the Lord. Mercy from both the weak and the weak... And I don’t see this mercy for the weak in many comments ...

24.03.2008.
With the hope of our salvation,
Maxim Stepanenko, supervisor
Missionary Department
Tomsk Diocese of the Russian Orthodox Church

. What did you write to me about?

Having corrected the disorders of divisions, fornication, covetousness, now decrees the rules about marriage and virginity. For the Corinthians in a letter to him asked: should abstain from a wife, or not?

. It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Well, excellent, he says, if every man, and not only a priest (as some poorly understand this), would not touch his wife at all and remain a virgin. But it is safer and closer to our infirmity to enter into marriage. Therefore he adds the following.

. But, to avoid fornication, each one shall have his wife, and each shall have her own husband.

He talks about both sides. For it may happen that the husband loves chastity, but the wife does not, or vice versa. words "to avoid fornication" encourages restraint. For if marriage is allowed in order to avoid fornication, then those who are united by marriage should no longer copulate among themselves without any moderation, but - chastely.

. Husband show his wife due favor; like a wife to her husband.

Duty, he says, honor love for one another; and since it is a duty, you are necessarily obliged to render it to one another.

. The wife has no power over her body, but the husband; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does.

Now he proves that love for one another is indeed a necessary duty. For, he says, spouses have no power over their bodies, but a wife is a slave and at the same time the mistress of her husband: a slave, since she has no power over her body to sell it to whomever she wants, but her husband owns it; and the lady, because the body of the husband is her body, and he has no power to give it to harlots. Similarly, the husband is the slave and at the same time the master of his wife.

. Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while.

That is, the wife should not abstain against the will of the husband, nor should the husband abstain against the desire of the wife. For to restrain one against the will of another is to deprive oneself, just as it is said of money; but to abstain at will is a completely different matter, when, for example, both (husband and wife) by agreement determine a certain time for mutual abstinence.

. For practice in fasting and prayer.

Explains what his expression means: "for the time being", that is, when the time comes to be in prayer, that is, to pray especially fervently. For he did not simply say: for prayer, but: "to exercise in prayer". Indeed, if the apostle had found in conjugal cohabitation an obstacle to ordinary everyday prayer, then he would have said in another place: "pray without ceasing"()? Therefore, in order that yours might be more ardent, refrain, he says, from each other, because copulation, although it does not defile, but hinders the pious occupation.

AND after be together again, lest Satan tempt you with your intemperance.

I, says the apostle, say that you should be united again; but I do not consider this a law, but I prescribe for this, "lest Satan tempt you" that is, inciting to fornication. Since it is not the devil in himself who is the culprit of fornication, but mainly our intemperance, the apostle added: "your intemperance" for in it lies the reason why the devil tempts us.

. However, I said this as a permission, and not as a command.

That you should deprive yourselves of each other before the time, I said this, says the apostle, "as permission"(κατά συγγνώμην), that is, out of condescension to your infirmity, "not as a command" immutable.

. Because I want all people to be like me.

Wherever only the apostle prescribes some difficult feat, he usually sets himself as an example. This is why he says here: I desire that everyone should always abstain.

. But everyone has his own gift from God, one in this way, the other in another way.

Being virgin, he says, is a gift from God; however, this feat requires our strength. How does he call it a gift? To the consolation of the Corinthians, to whom he "your intemperance"(v. 5), dealt a sensitive blow. Meanwhile, note that he considers marriage itself a gift; for he said: "everyone has his own gift from God, one is like that", that is, the gift to remain in virginity, "another otherwise", that is, the gift to live in marriage.

. To the unmarried and to the widows I say: it is good for them to remain like me. But if not may abstain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to be inflamed.

Do you see the wisdom of Paul, how he also shows the superiority of virginity, and at the same time does not force him who is unable to restrain himself to abstain from marriage, lest he otherwise suffer a more severe fall? If, he says, you experience great violence and inflammation (for the power of lust is strong), then free yourself from those labors and sweats, so that, having taken up them, you will not fall into the worst evil.

. And I do not command those who have entered into marriage, but the Lord.

Since the Lord in clear words gave the law not to divorce, except for the reason of adultery (), the apostle says: "not I, but the Lord". Before, what was said was not literally legitimized by the Lord. However, the words of Pavlov are the words of the Lord, and not human, for below he says this about himself: “I think I also have the Spirit of God” ().

. A wife must not divorce her husband; if she divorces, she must remain celibate, or be reconciled to her husband, and the husband must not leave his wife. his.

Divorces, he says, are for the love of temperance, or for cowardice, or for other reasons; but it would be better if there were no separation at all. If it does follow, then the wife must remain with her husband, if not for intercourse, then in order not to bring anyone else. If she cannot restrain herself, then let her be reconciled to her husband.

. To the rest, I say, and not the Lord: if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she agrees to live with him, then he should not leave her; and a wife who has an unbelieving husband, and he agrees to live with her, must not leave him.

What are you saying? If the husband is an unbeliever, then let him stay with his wife; and if he is a fornicator, then he must not stay with her? But is unbelief worse than fornication? Definitely worse; but God exacts more for sins against neighbors than against himself. For it is said: “leave your gift there before the altar and go first, be reconciled to your brother”(). And ten thousand talents, due to Him, He forgave: but for the one who owed a hundred denarii, He did not leave offense without vengeance (). So it is in the present case: unbelief, which offends God Himself, He ignores, but the sin of adultery punishes like a sin against a wife. Some, however, explain it this way: a person, they say, remains in disbelief due to ignorance, which, perhaps, will end, as the apostle himself () says: “Why do you know, wife, will you save your husband?”- and fornication is committed due to obvious corruption. Moreover, the fornicator had already separated himself from himself, for, having taken his members from his wife, he made them members of the harlot; meanwhile, just as the unbeliever did not commit any sin against carnal union, or rather, through this union, he, perhaps, will be united by faith. Not to mention that the order of life will be perverted, and the Gospel will be reviled if the faithful half is separated from the unfaithful. Meanwhile, the considered commandment of the apostle refers only to the case if the husband and wife were united in marriage, when both were still in unbelief, but after that one or the other side turned to the faith. For if before only one husband was an unbeliever, or only one wife, then the believing half was not at all allowed to marry an unbeliever: this is evident from the words of the apostle, for he did not say: if anyone wishes to take an unbeliever, but: "if what brother has". Again, he does not simply order the believing half to live with the unbelieving, but only if the latter so desires; for it means: "I agree," that is, if he wills.

. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the believing husband.

That is, the abundance of the purity of the believing half overcomes the impurity of the unbelieving. This means the words of the apostle, and not that the pagan becomes a saint. For the Apostle did not say: He is holy, but: "He is sanctified," that is, he is overcome by the holiness of his faithful half. And he says this so that the believing wife does not fear becoming unclean if she has cohabitation with such a husband. But one asks: he who copulates with a harlot, becoming one body with her, becomes unclean (cf.); obviously, and he who copulates with a Gentile becomes one body with her. If the former is impure, how is it that the latter is not made impure? As far as fornication is concerned, this is exactly what happens in it. When fornicators have fellowship with each other, their mixture is impure, and therefore both of them are unclean. But otherwise this is the case with the cohabitation of the believing half with the unbelieving. An unbelieving husband is unclean because of his unbelief. But the wife has fellowship with him not in unbelief, but in the lodge. There is no impurity in this fellowship. For it is a legal marriage. Therefore, the believing half does not become unclean.

. Otherwise your children would be unclean.

If the unfaithful half were not overcome by the purity of the faithful, then their children would be unclean, or only half clean.

And now saints.

That is, they are not unclean. By the superfluous expression "holy," the apostle casts out the fear of such a suspicion.

. If the unbeliever wants get divorced, get divorced.

For example, if he commands you to either take part in his disbelief or give up marriage rights, then divorce. For it is better to loosen the bonds of marriage than to break piety.

. brother or sister in cases not connected; The Lord has called us to peace.

If your husband quarrels with you because you do not take part in his unbelief, then divorce him. For you are not enslaved to him in such a case, that is, you are not forced to follow him in such matters. It is better to separate from him than to quarrel; because God does not want it either: "The Lord has called us to peace". So, if a husband quarrels with you, then by this he himself filed a reason for divorce.

. How do you know, wife, if you can save your husband?

Returning again to the admonition that "must not leave" husband's wife, offers a real question. For if, he says, he does not quarrel with you, then stay with him and exhort him: maybe you will do something. - to completely convince her husband, and on the other - in order to support in her the hope of her husband's conversion and prevent despair.

. Or you, husband, why do you know if you can save your wife? Only (εί μ ) each do as God has determined for him, and each as the Lord has called.

Some read it like this: “or you, husband, why do you know whether you will save your wife or not”(ήμ)? Then they started another sentence like this: "everyone shall do as God has decreed for him", that is, how do you know whether you will save her or not? This is completely unknown. But if you do not know, then you should not dissolve the marriage, because if you do not save her, you will not harm yourself, and if you save, then you will benefit yourself and others. But Saint John did not read like this, but like this: “everyone shall do as God has determined for him, and each as the Lord has called”. And this reading is incomparably better. The apostle, as it were, said this: there should not be a divorce under the pretext of unbelief, but each one should act as God was pleased with him. You were called, having a wife from the unbelievers. Keep her to yourself, and do not cast her out for unbelief.

. So I command all the churches.

He said this so that the Corinthians would listen to him the more willingly, when he commands others along with them to do the same.

. If one is called circumcised, do not hide (μη έπισπάσθω ).

Probably, many, ashamed of circumcision, brought the circumcised member back to its original form with some medicine, building up a skin on it.

. If anyone is called uncircumcised, do not be circumcised.

On the other hand, some, finding something important in circumcision, were circumcised upon conversion to faith. Therefore he says that this does not in the least contribute to faith.

. Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but Everybody in keeping the commandments of God.

Everywhere, he says, along with faith, the fulfillment of virtue is required, and everything else is either little or not required at all.

. Everyone stay in the rank in which you are called. Whether you are called a slave, do not be embarrassed; but if you can become free, then use the best.

"In the rank in which he was called", that is, in what kind of life, and in what rank and state you believed, remain in that; for by calling he means bringing to faith. Did you accept the faith as a slave? do not worry and do not be embarrassed; for slavery does not harm you at all, so that if you could become free, "then use the best" sacrifice yourself for the benefit of others.

. For the servant who is called in the Lord is the Lord's free man; likewise, he who is called free is the servant of Christ.

The one who is freed from slavery is called free. So he says: you who believed in a state of bondage, you are free of the Lord; for Christ has freed you both from sin and from that outward bondage, though you are a slave. He who does not submit to passions, having a noble soul, is not a slave, although he seems to be such. On the other hand, another free person is called to faith; such a servant of Christ. So, if the name of slavery revolts the slave, then let him understand that he has become free in Christ, and this freedom is much more important than human. Again, if the name of freedom puffs up the free, then let him understand that he is a servant of Christ and humble himself, imagining that he is subject to such a Master and must please Him. Do you see the wisdom with which the apostle instructs the slaves and the free.

. you are bought way at a price; do not become slaves of men. In which rank whoever is called, brethren, in him, each one, remain before God.

This speaks not only to slaves, but also to the free, exhorting all Christians not to do anything to please people and not to obey them if their commands are against the law. This is what it means: bought from God to be slaves of men. It does not convince the slaves to fall away from their masters - no; This is evident from his next words: "in what rank is one called" etc., that is, if anyone is called and is in a state of bondage, let him remain in him. He added “Before God” in order not to fall away from God through obedience to lawless rulers. He takes care of both, that is, so that, on the one hand, under the pretext of obedience to God, the slaves do not fall away from their masters, and on the other, while rendering their masters super-duty obedience, they do not fall away from God.

. Regarding virginity, I have no command of the Lord, but I give advice, as one who has received mercy from the Lord to be To him true.

Above, he occupied us with a conversation about chastity, and now he turns to a more important subject, namely virginity, and says that the Lord did not lay down a law and did not give a command regarding virginity, but only said: “whoever can accommodate, let him accommodate” (). Therefore, I do not dare to prescribe anything regarding this subject; this business is important, but at the same time dangerous; however, I give my opinion, that is, advice, since I myself, by the grace of God, have been honored to be faithful, that is, close to Him and one to whom secrets can be entrusted.

. In real need, I acknowledge for the best that it is good for a person to remain like this.

In my opinion, he says, it is best for a person to abstain from marriage because of the inconvenience and trouble associated with it, and not because the marriage is unclean.

. Are you connected to your wife? don't seek divorce. Did he leave without a wife? don't look for a wife. However, if you marry, you will not sin.

words "Are you united with your wife?" showed that marriage, like bonds, brings trouble with it. "Divorce" does not call abstinence by consent, but divorce without sufficient reason; for if the spouses abstain by consent, it is not a divorce. Having said “do not look for a wife”, lest they think that celibacy commands, he adds: "However, even if you marry, you will not sin". See, meanwhile, how inconspicuously it encourages virginity, calling marriage bonds, and virginity permission and freedom.

. And if a girl marries, she will not sin.

By a virgin here he does not mean the one who is consecrated to God (for if this one marries, then, no doubt, she will sin, because through this, in addition to her Bridegroom - Christ, she will bring an adulterer to her), but also a celibate girl. Therefore, if such a woman marries, she will not sin; because marriage contains nothing impure.

. But such will have afflictions according to the flesh; and I feel sorry for you.

Sorrows refers to the worries and sorrows associated with marriage. “But I,” he continues, “I feel sorry for you,” like children, and I wish you to be free and carefree. Marriage is a bond; and those who are under his yoke have no power over themselves, as said above.

. I tell you, brethren, the time is short.

To his words "they will have affliction according to the flesh" someone did not add: “but pleasure is also at the same time,” cuts off any hope of pleasure, exposing the crampedness of time. For everything is in a hurry to destruction, and the Kingdom of Christ has drawn near, and at last we must come to Christ. So, if there is any pleasure in married life, then it is fragile and short-lived.

. So those who have wives must be as those who do not; and weeping as if not weeping; and those who rejoice, as those who do not rejoice; and those who buy, as not acquiring; and those who use this world as those who do not use it.

If even those who have wives should be as if they had not, then what is the use of marrying and bearing a burden? What does it mean: “as those who do not have”? This means: not clinging to marriage and wife and not exhausting all cares for them. In the same way, no one should be too concerned about anything else: neither sad circumstances, which he hinted at with the word "weeping", nor joyful ones, which he meant with the word "rejoice", nor contracts, which he expressed with the word "buy". And why, he says, list this and that? It’s just that those who use this world should not abuse it, that is, cling to it with all diligence and passion; for use that is superfluous and goes beyond what is proper is abuse.

. For the image of this world is passing away.

That is, it passes and collapses. Why get attached to something that is being destroyed? The name of the image showed that the things of the real world only flicker before the eyes, are extremely light and do not have anything solid and substantial in themselves.

. And I want you to be without worries.

And how could we be without worries? If only they were celibate. So he adds the following.

. The unmarried cares about the Lord's things, how to please the Lord; but a married man is concerned about the things of the world, how to please his wife.

How is it, Paul, wishing us to be carefree and for this reason inspiring us to be celibate, you again say: "the unmarried cares for the Lord"? For behold, here also are worries. But not such, he says, which are connected with marriage: the cares of the Lord are saving and sweet, but the cares of the world are harmful and painful. Indeed, is it not a burden and sorrow to try to please a wife, and especially one who loves jewelry and demands gold and pearls and other empty things? This disposes miserable husbands to injustice and soulful disposition of things.

. There is a difference between a married woman and a virgin.

That is, they differ from each other, and do not have the same care, but are divided in their cares: one cares for such subjects, and the other for others. Since their concerns are different, they should choose those that are better and easier.

. An unmarried woman cares about the Lord, how to please the Lord, in order to be holy both in body and spirit; but the married woman takes care of the things of the world, how to please her husband.

It is not enough to be holy in body, but it must also be so in spirit, for in this, that is, in purity of soul, true virginity consists. In experience, many, being pure and blameless in body, are filthy in soul. Above all, pay attention to the fact that she is not a virgin who cares about the world. Therefore, when you see a woman who pretends to be a virgin, and meanwhile cares about the things of the world, then know that she is not at all different from a married woman. For both, Paul laid down certain signs by which one can recognize them - not marriage and abstinence, but, on the one hand, a great and restless activity, and on the other, a calm occupation of one's own affairs. Therefore, she is not a virgin who burdens herself with many vain activities. But a married woman continues to take care of how to please her husband, and therefore she takes special care of her beauty, or, in order to be revered as a good housewife, she shows herself to be wasteful and thrifty.

. I say this for your own benefit, not to put bonds on you.

I talked, he says, about virginity, knowing that this state is useful for you, since it is free from sorrow and worries, and brings more benefits to the soul; I did not talk about this in order to force you to remain virgin against your will (for "bonds" he called compulsion).

. But so that you gracefully and unceasingly served God without entertainment.

In order, he says, that you live decently and in purity; for what can be more benevolent and purer than virginity? And in order that you, being free from the troubles of marriage, without entertainment, serve the Lord and always stand before Him, placing all your worries on Him ().

. If anyone considers it indecent for his maiden that she, being in adulthood, should remain so, let him do as he wants: he will not sin.

If anyone, he says, being really weak at heart, considers it dishonorable to leave his daughter a virgin, especially if she has passed the mature age, then let him, he says, and so be it. How? "Let him do what he wants", that is, if he wants to give her in marriage, let him give, for he will not sin. However, it is better to keep the virgin, as he says further.

. Let such are getting married. But he who is unshakably firm in his heart and, not being constrained by need, but being powerful in his will, has decided in his heart to keep his virgin, he does well. Therefore, he who marries his maiden does well; but the one who does not give out does better.

Notice how at first he is surprised at the one who observes his maiden: he calls him firm and steadfast and does his job with reason; for it says: "unshakably firm in heart". So, who gives his maiden in marriage, he is not firm. words "not being constrained by need" shows that the father has the power to give his husband's daughter, and no one can force him not to give her in marriage. So, honor to him if he leaves his daughter unmarried; therefore the apostle praises him: for "well," he says, "he does." But the one who gives his daughter in marriage also "doing well"; for it is not a sin to give in marriage; and everything that is not, good. But it is much better not to marry; for it is perfection in good.

. A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains so, according to my advice; but I think I also have the Spirit of God.

Here he teaches about the second marriage, and although he allows it, however, he honors the most blessed one who does not enter into a second marriage; for as virginity is superior to the first marriage, so the first marriage is superior to the second. "The wife is bound by law", that is, by the warning of the law, she is kept from adultery, from being an adulteress through union with another during the life of her husband, but if her husband dies, she becomes free from the bonds and law of the first marriage and receives permission. "Only in the Lord", that is, only with chastity, with honesty, can she enter into a second marriage, for the production and upbringing of children, and not for the inclination of lust. "On My Advice" he adds that you should not consider this a necessity, but only advice, divine advice. "I think," he says, and I have the Spirit of God". There is more humility in these words; for he did not say: I have, but: I think that I have, that is, I believe, I guess.

"Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement". What does it mean? The wife must not, he says, abstain against the will of her husband, and the husband (should not abstain) against the will of his wife. Why? Because from such abstinence comes great evil; from this often there were adulteries, fornications, and domestic disorder. For if some, having their wives, indulge in adultery, how much more (will they indulge in it) when they are deprived of this consolation. Well said: do not deprive yourself; what I called deprivation here, I called debt above, in order to show how great their mutual dependence is: to abstain to one against the will of another means to deprive, but not to the will. So, if you take something from me with my consent, it will not be deprivation for me; deprives the one who takes against the will and by force. This is done by many wives, committing a great sin against justice and thus giving their husbands a pretext for debauchery and leading to disorder. Unanimity should be preferred to everything; it matters most. If you want, we will prove it by experience. Let there be a wife and a husband, and let the wife abstain when the husband does not want it. What will happen? Will he not then commit adultery, or, if he does not commit adultery, will he not grieve, worry, inflame, quarrel and cause much trouble to his wife? What is the use of fasting and abstinence when love is violated? No. How much grief will inevitably arise from this, how much trouble, how much strife!

If a husband and wife do not agree in the house, then their house is no better than a ship overwhelmed by the waves, on which the helmsman does not agree with the helmsman. Therefore (the apostle) says: “do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while, for the exercise in fasting and prayer”. Here he means prayer performed with special care, because if he forbade those who copulate to pray, then where would the time for unceasing prayer come from? Therefore, it is possible to copulate with a wife and pray; but with abstinence, prayer is more perfect. He did not just say: pray, but: yes, abide, because the (marriage) business only distracts from this, and does not produce defilement. “And then be together again so that Satan does not tempt you”. Lest you think that this is a law, add a reason. What? "lest Satan tempt you". And so that you know that it is not the devil who only happens to be the culprit of adultery, he adds: "your intemperance".

Conversation 19 on 1 Corinthians.

Discourse on the inscription of Psalm 50, about David's repentance and about his wife Urina.

St. Theophan the Recluse

Do not deprive yourself of each other, just by agreement for a time, but abide in fasting and prayer, and gather together together, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance

"What does it mean? The wife must not, he says, abstain against the will of her husband, and the husband must not abstain against the will of his wife. Why? – Because great evil comes from such abstinence; from this often there were adulteries, fornications, and domestic disorders. For if some, having their own wives, give themselves over to adultery, how much more will they give themselves over to it if they are deprived of this consolation. Well said: don't deprive yourself; for to abstain to one against the will of another is to deprive, but by will it is not. So, if you take something from me with my consent, it will not be deprivation for me; deprives the one who takes against the will and by force. This is done by many wives, violating justice and thus giving their husbands a pretext for debauchery and leading to frustration. Unanimity should be preferred to everything; it matters most. If you want, we will prove it by experience. Let the wife of two spouses abstain, while the husband does not want it. What will happen? Will he not then commit adultery, or if he does not commit adultery, will he not grieve, worry, be irritated, angry, and cause much trouble to his wife? What is the use of fasting and abstinence when love is violated? - None. How much grief will inevitably arise from this, how much trouble, how much strife! If in a house a husband and wife do not agree with each other, then their house is no better than a ship overwhelmed by the waves, on which the helmsman does not agree with the ruler of the helm. Therefore the Apostle says: do not deprive yourself of each other, only by agreement for a time, but abide in fasting and prayer. Here he means prayer performed with special care, for if he forbade those who copulate to pray, then how could the commandment to pray unceasingly be fulfilled? Therefore, it is possible to copulate with a wife and pray, but with abstinence, prayer is more perfect. Not only said: yes pray, but: may you be in prayer, because the marriage business only distracts from this, and does not produce defilement. And packs together, get together, so that Satan does not tempt you. Lest they think that this is a law, it also adds a reason. What? - Let not Satan tempt you. And in order to know that it is not the devil who only happens to be the culprit of adultery, he adds: your intemperance"(St. Chrysostom). Commands to abstain during fasting for the most fervent prayer: maybe this goes to everyone church positions, especially for fasting. He advises to stop abstinence, - let not Satan tempt. Therefore, if there is no danger, then you can abstinence and continue. It can be seen that the Apostle would like abstinence to be kept as if it were a law, but to converge only by yielding to extreme necessity, which is determined not by desires, but by nature, and not even by nature, but by prudence.

The First Epistle to the Corinthians of the Holy Apostle Paul, Interpreted by St. Theophan.

Rev. Ephraim Sirin

Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance.

Don't shy away friend from friend, except with the consent of the time, for the performance of religious duties, during fasting and prayers. Therefore, on solemn days, abstain, let not Satan tempt you.

Commentary on the Epistles of the Divine Paul.

Rev. Anastasy Sinait

Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance.

I believe that this time is nothing else than the time most suitable for prayer, or the period of Fortecost and the feast of Passover. For those who are thirsty to receive communion every Sunday, I consider it worthy to preliminarily cleanse themselves starting from Friday, as the Old Testament well prescribes, which says: "Do not enter women for three days"(Ex. 19:15) and “we will keep from women yesterday and the third day” (1 Sam. 21:5).

Questions and answers.

Rev. Nicodemus the Holy Mountaineer

Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance.

Just as fasting is necessary on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Great Fortecost, fasting is also necessary in relation to carnal pleasures. Therefore, these days there should be no weddings, for the divine Paul commands that spouses during prayer and fasting should not enter into carnal confusion: “ Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while, for the exercise in fasting and prayer". And the divine Chrysostom, citing the saying of Joel, saying: “ Sanctify the fast ... May the bridegroom depart from his bed, and the bride from her chamber"(Joel 2, 16), - says that the newlyweds, who during their blooming youth have unbridled lust and desire, should not enter into carnal intercourse during fasting and prayer. Isn't it all the more true that other married couples should not unite carnally, in whom the violence of the flesh is not so demanding (The Word about virginity). Therefore, Balsamon (answer 50) says that those married couples who do not abstain on Lent, not only should not take communion on Easter, but also suffer the punishment of penance. In the same way, those spouses who enter into fleshly fellowship on Wednesdays and Fridays should be corrected with the help of penance.

Guide to Confession.

Blzh. Augustine

Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance.

According to the apostolic words, if he [the husband] wanted to practice abstinence, and you [the wife] did not want it, then he would have to yield to you, and God would accept his desire for abstinence while maintaining marital intimacy, considering your weakness, and not his, in order to save you from reprehensible fornication. How much better it would be for you, who are more submissive, to go along with his desire, in doing so, since God would accept your desire to practice abstinence, which you refuse in order to save your husband from the fall.

Messages.

There is nothing outstanding and difficult for married believers in doing for several days what the holy widows took upon themselves to the end of their days and what the holy virgins do all their lives. May piety shine in them all and humble pride!

Sermons.

Blzh. Theophylact of Bulgaria

Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while

That is, the wife should not abstain against the will of the husband, nor should the husband abstain against the desire of the wife. For to restrain one against the will of another is to deprive oneself, just as it is said of money; but to abstain at will is a completely different matter, when, for example, both (both husband and wife) by agreement determine a certain time for mutual abstinence.

For practice in fasting and prayer

Explains what his expression means: for a while, that is, when the time comes to be in prayer, that is, to pray especially fervently. For he did not simply say: for prayer, but: to practice in prayer. Indeed, if the apostle had found in conjugal cohabitation an obstacle to ordinary everyday prayer, then he would have said in another place: pray without ceasing(1 Thessalonians 5:17)? So, in order to make your prayer more fervent, refrain, he says, from each other, because copulation, although it does not defile, but hinders pious occupation.

And then be together again, lest Satan tempt you with your intemperance

I, says the apostle, say that you should be united again; but I do not consider this a law, but I prescribe for this, lest Satan tempt you that is, inciting to fornication. Since it is not the devil in himself who is the culprit of fornication, but mainly our intemperance, the apostle added: your intemperance for in it lies the reason why the devil tempts us.

Commentary on the First Epistle to the Corinthians of the Holy Apostle Paul.

Blzh. Theodoret of Kirsky

Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance.

Interpretations on the Epistles of the Apostle Paul.

Origen

Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance.

It serves as an obstacle to the proper type and form of prayer, if the marriage secret, about which it is decent to be silent, is not made more worthy, rarer and more impassive, since, according to mutual consent[to refrain from each other], which is spoken of here, the disagreement of passion is eliminated, mortified intemperance and the joy of Satan that harms us is hindered.

About prayer.

The Bible does not speak of sex in the language we may be used to today. If it is difficult to understand the Synodal Translation, then there is always the opportunity to use the modern version.

I will give a passage from the Bible and immediately insert a modern translation for comparison.

First Corinthians 7:1-5

Synodal translation

1 And about what you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 But [in order to avoid] fornication, each one should have his own wife, and each one should have her own husband.
3 Husband show his wife due favor; like a wife to her husband.
4 The wife has no power over her own body, but the husband; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise of fasting and prayer, and [then] be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance.

Modern translation

7:1 As for what you wrote about, better for a man don't get married.
7:2 But in order to avoid fornication, every man must have his own wife, and every woman must have her own husband.
7:3 A husband must give to his wife what is due to her, and likewise a wife must give to her husband what is due to him as her husband.
7:4 The wife has no power over her body, but the husband has power over it. Likewise, the husband has no power over his body, the wife has power over it.
7:5 Do not refuse one another, except by mutual agreement for a while, so that you can pray, and then unite again so that Satan cannot tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Let's study the passage in the context of our question. For example, I saw that this little passage is talking about sex.

Reasoning of the Apostle Paul

Paul, reasoning in the first verse, offers us his conclusion, where he recommends it is better not to marry. This is not a commandment, and we rightly look at it as a recommendation.

The rule is simple- if we cannot possess ourselves, and this “desire” is stronger than us, then it is better to think about marriage. That is to find a wife or spouse.

The logic is correct when we are looking for a spouse, and then we become one flesh - we marry, we have sex. And the situation is completely opposite, when we first have sex, and only then think about the family - in this way we follow our “desire” contrary to the will of God.

The result of such behavior will be fornication.

We read about this in the second verse.

2 But [in order to avoid] fornication, each one should have his own wife, and each one should have her own husband.
(1 Corinthians 7:2)

After the second verse, Paul sets forth a principle of extreme importance.

Marriage is the union of two people

A husband cannot act independently of his wife, just as a wife cannot act independently of her husband. They must act by mutual consent.

A husband should not consider his wife as a means to satisfy his desires. The whole complex of marital relations, both physical and spiritual, should give both physical pleasure and the highest satisfaction of all their desires.

During special penances, during long and serious prayers, it is quite appropriate to avoid each other; but this should be done by mutual agreement and only for a time, otherwise evasion may lead to temptations and temptations.

Marriage is not a miracle that accompanies husband and wife, it is work. He and she show each other their due, (i.e., corresponding) favor, in other words - you need to give each other everything you need. In such relationships, there is always joy and sadness. And everything that life gives must be shared together.

Sex in this regard is only a part of this relationship, but “one flesh” appears from it.

The Old Testament says about sex:

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and cling to his wife; and they will be one flesh.
(Gen. 2:24)

What does he say New Testament about sex?

31 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh.
(Eph.5:31)

The whole institution of marriage and relationships described in both the Old Testament and the New Testament - this is God's plan.

Today, the ring on the hand speaks of marriage, but it is important to remember that the ring is a circle that has neither beginning nor end.

The ring is a symbol of one flesh!

Summing up a certain result, we can safely say that there are verses about sex in the Bible. And in today's language, sex is part of the family and God's plan.

The Lord has prepared a specific role for both woman and man.

What do you think about marriage, family and sex?

7:1 And what you wrote to me about, it’s good for a man not to touch a woman .
The Corinthian ascetics seem to have already raised the issue of gender in Christian congregations in their letters to Paul.

Geneva: It is very likely that this expression was used by a group of ascetics among the Corinthian Christians, who condemned promiscuous sexual cohabitation and argued that a Christian should either not marry at all, or, if he marries, should abstain from sexual intercourse.
In support of their position, they may have referred to Paul's celibacy.

The apostle had to be careful not to distort his teaching one way or the other.

He recognizes certain advantages of a single state (v. 7:8), and below (v. 29-35) gives especially strong reasons that a Christian can remain single.
However, the main goal of the apostle is to correct those who demanded indispensable celibacy.
Elsewhere, Paul speaks of marriage approvingly (e.g., Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Tim. 3:2) and even condemns "those who forbid marriage" (1 Tim. 4:3).

7:2 But, [in order to avoid] fornication, each one has his own wife, and each one has her own husband.
In any case, taking into account the problem of a Christian meeting in fornication with his father's wife, Paul showed that marriage would help solve the problems of those Christians who cannot live alone. This will help to keep clean before God, not defiling yourself and the congregation with fornication.

7:3 Husband show his wife due favor; like a wife to her husband.
Paul is talking about husbands honoring each other and giving their wives and husbands what they need. But not under duress, but voluntarily. If a husband loves his wife, then it will be easy for him to pay attention to her, not only when he needs something from her, but constantly. Likewise, a wife must treat her husband.
What is due? It's not just about satisfying sexual needs. But in general, everything that needs to be given to each other in order to satisfy emotional needs, needs for communication and support.

Insight and communication with each other will help to understand what a spouse needs to make him happy (it’s not about indulging each other’s whims, but about the necessary, without which the life of spouses in marriage becomes unbearable: about love, respect, sympathy and support, etc.). d.). Since from the moment of marriage, the husband and wife already become one flesh, therefore, they should take care of each other as if they were their own body.

7: 4 The wife has no power over her body, but the husband; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does.
Paul is telling Christians not to think that in marriage, everyone is on their own. Spouses must eradicate selfishness and concern only for themselves. From now on (from the moment of marriage), each of them no longer belongs to himself. Both are to each other. Therefore, we must take care of each other's needs. (An example of this would be Christ loving and caring for the Church of Christ)

Some believers use the delicate part of this text to their advantage and with authority demand fulfillment from the life partner marital debt marriage bed on the basis of these words of Paul.

Paul did not mean that in such delicate matters God permits the use of violence. This text is not about the power to demand. And about the natural power of marital relations between husband and wife, for God not only allows the union of the sexes in marriage - He commanded it (Gen. 1:28)
It's said by Paul not in order to blackmail a satellite, but in order to take it into service and perform it yourself:
No one seek his own, but each one [the benefit] of another (1 Corinthians 10:24).
If spouses in a family care not only about themselves, but also about their life partners, then this is according to Christ.

7:5 Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while, for the exercise in fasting and prayer,
There is a time to hug and there is a time to avoid hugging (Eccl. 3:5). Evasion time is purely individual. Paul does not establish a rule for abstinence, but shows that periodic abstinence, especially during times of trouble and intense prayer, is natural state for Christian spouses. All this can be solved with their joint efforts.
About temperance in the N.Z. there are these principles:
1 Corinthians 8:8Food does not bring us closer to God: for if we eat, we gain nothing; if we don't eat, we don't lose anything.
Romans 14:17For the kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Col.2:23This has only the appearance of wisdom in self-willed service, humility of mind and exhaustion of the body, in a certain neglect of the nourishment of the flesh.

That is, the essence of abstinence is not to give up some needs of nature - for the sake of pleasing God (He does not need our hunger strikes. He Himself created these needs for people, not expecting that people should refuse them). And in not being carried away only by the needs of nature and not devoting your life only to them. But also - to give place to the service of God and spiritual fellowship with Him, and - the spiritual should be a priority.

As for fasting, there is no obligatory commandment in the NT to fast (whether we eat or not, we don’t get better). But if someone decides for himself so for some reason, this is not forbidden. Spouses can discuss these issues together. Paul is talking about the tradition of fasting - for the habitual inertia of the practice of Judaism, where it was customary to fast.

Prayer is an indicator of the closeness of relations with God, marriage in this should not be an obstacle for any of the spouses. In married life, there are plenty of opportunities to make time for prayer, but it is not necessary to pray without fail for the purpose of abstinence (instead of being together). Otherwise, it would be an excellent reason to refuse what is needed - to your companion, referring to the need to "keep" the prayer ritual, which is wrong: prayer should not be a "tool" of blackmail in marriage.

and [then] be together again, lest Satan tempt you with your intemperance.
Often the cause of adultery is precisely the coldness and constant avoidance of one of the companions of life, which can serve as a temptation to another - to seek intimate relationships on the side.

7:6 However, I said this as a permission, and not as a command.
The advice to the Corinthians to marry does not refer to the command of God, which Christians are absolutely obliged to fulfill from now on.
The advice was given to the congregation as an example of solving problems with fornication - according to God's principles, because the desire to build relationships with people of the opposite sex is a normal and permissible phenomenon for a person, which has been embedded in him since the creation of Adam.
Let's remember that even perfect Adam in paradise was "NOT GOOD to be alone", which God noticed when giving him Eve (Gen. 2:18).

But promiscuity in fornication is not permissible for a Christian; for this, God provided for the creation of a family and marital relations.

7:7 For I wish that all people were like me; but each has his own gift from God, one this way, the other another.
Although Paul himself welcomes celibacy, and, understandably, would like every Christian to devote his life exclusively to spreading the Gospel (for himself, this was the highest meaning of life) – however, the apostle is realistic and understands that voluntarily “castling himself for the sake of the Kingdom” is not everyone can do it.

In addition, Akila and Priscilla are a good example of family service to God. Paul recognizes the choice of whether to serve God married or celibate is up to every Christian.

7:8,9 To the unmarried and to the widows I say: it is good for them to remain like me. But if [they cannot] abstain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to be inflamed.

If there are no major problems with inciting passions, it is better to try to remain celibate, because there are much fewer obstacles to doing the work of God: Paul knows this from personal experience. Persecution for the word of God might have had a detrimental effect on his family, and concern for the provision of the family would have taken away his time from the work of God. And in solitude it is easier to devote yourself entirely to the service of the Lord.

However, if it is not possible to extinguish the kindled flesh, then it is better to enter into marriage than to bring yourself to the defilement of fornication.

7:10 I do not command, but the Lord: wife not to divorce her husband
What Paul says about a wife does not mean that God allows a husband to get a divorce. These commands of God concern family relationships in general.

A little further down in 7:12 Paul says: « I speak, not the Lord ”, but this does not mean at all that Paul, giving his advice, contradicts the Lord:
about the attitude of a Christian to marriage are the instructions of Jesus Christ. A Christian who has entered into marriage has no right to divorce and remarry many times, unless there are good reasons for this (adultery) - Mt.19:9.
Therefore, before taking this step, a Christian needs to carefully consider what will be easier for him: to subdue his flesh and spend himself only for the cause of God, or to live to death with a marriage companion and take care of his family.

Let us remember that the disciples of Christ, having learned about SUCH a duty of a husband to his wife, very strangely drooped: for the marriages of this age, when unions in matrimony can be both accidental and thoughtless, living to death with a random companion is harder than not marrying at all. This conclusion was reached by the disciples of Christ - Matt. 19:10.
But, it is clear that every Christian has the right to draw his own conclusions and choose his own path.

7:11 if it gets divorced...
Expression " IF it gets divorced, then ....” shows that God (for Paul conveys the commands of God) still allows the idea of ​​cases of divorce in Christian families, despite the instructions of Christ.
Further indications for possible cases of divorce in Christianity - show that divorce itself is not considered by God as a mortal sin. Just divorced, if for some reason they could not stay together, they must adhere to further His instructions transmitted by Paul:

must remain celibate, or be reconciled to her husband, and the husband must not leave his wife [his]
Note: Christ spoke of the possible REPEATED marriage in the event of a divorce on the accusation of a marriage partner of adultery: adultery before the Lord frees a Christian from the law of marriage “one flesh” - with the guilty party and makes him free to remarry.

Here Paul speaks of a case of divorce, after which NO RIGHT TO REMARK. This means that the reason for the divorce in this case could be different, but not the betrayal of the marriage companion.
AT The choice of the one who divorced not because of the betrayal of the marriage companion, in fact, is small:
either remain alone until the end of their days, or return to their marriage companion, for in the eyes of God, those who are divorced, not because of treason, still remain one flesh, and therefore can be reconciled. Unless, of course, someone eventually remarries, thereby committing adultery.
Corinth should have understood that Christians have an obligation to take marriage seriously and exclude fornication from their lifestyle.

7:12,13 To others I say, and not the Lord:
So it is clear that Paul's advice is not contrary to the requirements of God and is given to the congregation in accordance with the spirit of God.

if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she agrees to live with him, then he must not leave her; and a wife who has an unbelieving husband, and he agrees to live with her, must not leave him.
Jesus did not leave instructions for all occasions of the Christian life. For example, many of those called in Corinth could already have families, but, for example, only one of the spouses accepted Christ, the second remained an unbeliever. What should a Christian do in this case?

One thing is clear: a believing spouse should not initiate a divorce if the unbelieving spouse wishes to save the marriage.
Paul did not describe, unfortunately, cases when, for example, an unbelieving spouse lives as a parasite, drinks or a drug addict, physically and morally offends a believing wife every day, plagues her with scandals and provokes her to sin, but at the same time he WISHES to save the marriage.

In such cases, we think that a Christian can take into account 1 Corinthians 7:11.

7:14,16 an unbelieving husband is sanctified... by a believing wife.. children... are holy. Some Christian denominations teach that it is enough for at least one believer to appear in the family - and the whole family automatically falls into the category of saints accepted by God, because in Israel, for example, according to the tradition of the Old Testament, the whole family as a whole was considered to have made a covenant with God.
Yes, this was the case in Israel, but in the family of an Israelite there were no non-believers in the God of Israel. Therefore, this analogy is incorrect.

Since Christ said that I did not come to bring peace, but a sword ”, dividing the family into those who accepted Christ and those who did not accept him, which means that none of the members of any family will automatically become a saint pleasing to God.

What is Paul talking about here?
If Paul were talking here about becoming holy—literally, just by having a believing family member, then there would be no need for an unbelieving husband or wife or children to strive for holiness themselves.
And why should they strive for this, if it would be ENOUGH in the family of one believer?
Alas, this is not so. God has the principle of personal responsibility for one's own salvation and the holiness of nepotism:

13 son of man! if any land sinned against me, and I stretched out my hand on it, and destroyed the grain support in it, and sent famine on it, and began to destroy people and livestock on it; and if these three men were found in her: Noah, Daniel and Job, - then by their righteousness they would save only THEIR souls, says the Lord God...these are the three men in her midst, I live, says the Lord God, neither sons nor daughters would be saved, but they would only be saved - Ezek. 14:13-21.

The same principle is found in Romans 14:12:
And so, each of us will give an account to God FOR HIMSELF.

Based on this, the conclusion is:
rather, Paul is talking about the fact that if there is at least one believer in the family, then all the rest fall under the influence or influence of God's spirit on the part of the believer, since he himself applies the principles of God in life and is under the influence of the holy spirit.
Thanks to this, every believer in the family has a chance to turn the whole family to God and win it for God by their God-fearing behavior and the strength of their faith, as it is written here:

How do you know, wife, if you can save your husband? Or you, husband, why do you know if you can save your wife? (7:16)
That is, each of the believing members of the family, if he himself behaves in a Christian way, can ask himself: will he not turn an unbeliever to God? Will not a positive example encourage him - want to become a saintand an unbelieving spouse?

7:15 If the unbeliever [wants] to get divorced, let him get divorced; brother or sister in such [cases] are not related; The Lord has called us to peace.
If an unbelieving spouse insists on a divorce, there is no point in trying to keep him by force or by some other means.

7:16 See 7:14.

7:17 Only do each one as God has determined for him, and each as the Lord has called. So I command all the churches.
It makes no difference in what circumstances, in what physical, social or civil state a person decides to become a Christian.

7:18,19 If anyone who is circumcised is called, do not hide yourself; If anyone is called uncircumcised, do not be circumcised.
What matters to God is what each individual does in the age in which he is called.
For example, the commandment of God in the OT was circumcision - it served as a sign of the covenant between the descendants of Abraham and Jehovah that God would bless and multiply the seed of Abraham and give him the land of Canaan as an inheritance (Genesis 17:4-8)
For Christians in the NT era, the commandment of Jehovah became important spiritual circumcision, which was done on the heart. They should have cut foreskin of your heart. (Rom 2:28,29).
At the time of the call by Christ, the confession previously professed does not matter to God: both a Jew and a Gentile can equally become Christians; it does not matter to God whether the one who accepts Christ is circumcised or not. It is important for him that those who are called to the path of Christ do His will and act according to His commandments.

Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but [all] in keeping the commandments of God.
In obedience to God, both circumcision and non-circumcision are powerless to help, because fidelity to God depends not on the appearance and state of the integrity of the parts of the human body, but on the personality of a Christian and his inner convictions, on the integrity of nature and spiritual heart in striving to become God's man.

7:20, 21 Everyone stay in the rank in which you are called. Are you called a slave don't be embarrassed
The Christian path does not imply the creation of any special "hothouse" or comfortable conditions.

The apostle does not want Christians to be disturbed or embarrassed by their position, which cannot be changed by God's methods. Dissatisfaction and complaints, as well as the desire to get rid of tight circumstances by one’s own and unrighteous methods under the pretext of a greater opportunity to serve God, testify to distrust of God, and this is not good for a Christian.

but if you can become free, then use the best.
However, this does not mean that Christians should not even try to improve their situation and lighten the burden of the burdens of this age (not about lightening the cross of Christ).
If an opportunity arises in life to alleviate one's life circumstances, then it is right to use it: inaction with the opportunity to act is the same as artificially creating difficulties for oneself.

Let's stop a little: Christians are advised to make life easier for themselves, IF POSSIBLE -on the example of a slave.
Every Christian is to some extent a slave to his life circumstances. The very circumstances of being enslaved by something do not interfere with living a Christian life, but, of course, they greatly limit the possibility of doing something for God.
Therefore, if a slave has the opportunity to free himself from slavery GOD'S METHODS (if they let him go, for example, or drive him away because he refuses to steal or kill at the request of the owner, for example, refuses, ransoms him, abolishes slavery, or otherwise without violating God’s principles), then it’s better for the slave to take the opportunity to be freed.

Let us recall the example of a Jew who was enslaved by the need to inspect his father to death:
Jesus invited him to follow him and freed him from the bondage of the morality of this world and the law of Moses:
God! let me first go and bury my father.
But Jesus said to him: Follow me, and let the dead bury their dead. (Matt. 8:21,22)

To many readers, this example seems monstrous. However, the advantage of becoming a disciple of Christ and fulfilling the will of God - turned out to be more important for the invited Jew than the usual household and economic pastime in the family - IN THE CASE WHEN there was WHO to look after his father:
spiritually dead relatives, who are not interested in the word of God and the way of Christ, may well take care of the father of the one whom Jesus called after him.
At the same time, it does not matter what they will think about their son, who preferred Christ's discipleship to caring for his own father.

The opportunity for a Christian to be freed from the burdens of this world for the sake of the path of Christ (not for the sake of his own whim) is also shown in these words of Christ:

Jesus answered and said, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who will leave home, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or land, for the sake of Me and the gospel,
30 And I would not have received now, in this time, in the midst of persecution, a hundred times more houses, and brothers and sisters, and fathers, and mothers, and children, and lands, but in the age to come, eternal life. (Mark 10:29,30)
It seems strange that the house and lands are on a par with relatives and friends, even if they are opponents of the Gospel (it is about those who oppose the path of Christ - we are talking about everything that interferes with the fulfillment of the sacred service): still, for example, leave children - is not the same as, say, throwing the ground.
However, here, too, Jesus does not mean to simply abandon families for the sake of the GOSPEL. It is unacceptable for a Christian, under the pretext of the need for the gospel, for example, to take and leave the family, ceasing to provide them with the most necessary things.

If a Christian decides to leave the entire list of Christs - FOR THE SAKE OF THE GOSPEL, then he will certainly FIRST do everything in his power to somehow arrange spiritually dead relatives who are not able to take care of themselves on their own.
The questions of one's liberation from enslavement by the burdens of this age, for example, “to leave or not to leave; what, whom, how and in what quantity to leave; literally or not; whom to prefer to whom and how much to do for the cause of God?” - A Christian must decide for himself according to his own conscience and in accordance with the principles of God.

7: 22 For the servant who is called in the Lord is the Lord's free man; likewise, he who is called free is the servant of Christ.
The concept of freedom and slavery is relative: a slave of circumstances is nevertheless free to act like a Christian in his circumstances, which means that he is free from the point of view of God and Christ.

And a free, for example, citizen of any country - if he is a Christian, then he is a slave of God and His Christ, for he strives exactly to fulfill the will of his Lords.
So, even a slave of his circumstances, even if he has found the opportunity to free himself from them, a Christian is always free to act according to the will of the Lord and follow Christ in what he has the opportunity to follow.
It is clear that in the state of "bondage" - there are few opportunities to do something for the Lord, and this is often distressing, but at least to do the right thing and according to the principles of God - even the most forced slave always has the opportunity.

7: 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.
Since God paid a high price for all Christians with the blood of His Christ, He hopes that Christians will act as they were bought by God, reverently relating to such a sacrifice, obeying Him as their only Master and Lord.
A Christian does not have the right to become slaves of people, and no matter what moral "value" - bosses, fathers, mothers, brothers, wives, children - and fulfill their will, which is not similar to the will of the Lord. And if he considers that he has, he will cease to be a Christian, but will become a primitive man-pleaser.

7:24 In what [rank] one is called, brethren, in that everyone and remain before God.
For God, neither position, nor position in society, nor religion, nor gender, nor age matters at the moment of calling by the Lord, but only the desire of the one who is called to serve Him all the days of his life matters. Any person can respond to the word of God preached by His servants, both unbelieving and believing in other gods, both a man and a woman, both a leader and a subordinate, both young and old.

7:25 Concerning virginity, I do not have the command of the Lord, but I give advice, as one who has received from the Lord the grace to be faithful [to Him].
Paul makes it clear that his advice, which he is ready to give, is not a categorical instruction regarding moral choice between good and evil for a Christian: even if you get married, even if you don’t, you won’t sin and you won’t do evil. But his advice is only a recommendation, not contrary to the will of God, referring to the specific situation of the Corinthian assembly, in which, as already mentioned, extreme "left" and extreme "right" views on sexual relations flourished: either complete abstinence and the preservation of virginity, or extreme debauchery of morals.

7:26 In real need, I acknowledge for the best that it is good for a person to remain like this. Paul says this from the position of a wanderer and a stranger who has decided to devote his entire life to God without a trace. Whoever wants to achieve the best option in serving God can follow Paul's advice, for an unmarried person, firstly, is not bound by care and worries about his spouse and is not afraid that he will subject her to persecution with his activities. And, secondly, he will not worry about what will happen to her and the children if something happens to him. An unmarried Christian is freer both in thought and action.

7:27 Are you connected to your wife? don't seek divorce. Did he leave without a wife? don't look for a wife
If a Christian already has a family at the time of his calling, then there is no need for him to look for reasons for a divorce: he will have to do for the Lord what he is able to do for Him in his personal circumstances.
If you don’t have a family yet, then it’s better not to have one.

It would be folly to seek to change circumstances by means other than God's, which may bring a stain on the church of God and blacken God's name. For example - to strive to get a divorce not because of adultery, but in order to devote more time to serving God. God will not accept such a sacrifice, since taking care of the household, if they already exist at the time of the call, is also the fulfillment of the will of God (1 Tim. 5: 8).

Or if a Christian divorced his wife because of adultery, or maybe the wife died, then he should not devote the rest of his life to finding a new wife, turning it into an end in itself.

7:28 However, even if you marry, you will not sin; and if a girl marries, she will not sin. But such will have afflictions according to the flesh; and I feel sorry for you.
Marriage and marriage are not something wrong for a Christian, God does not require complete abstinence, as the extreme "right" in the Corinthian congregation believed.

It's just that everyone who plans to start a family should do it without rose-colored glasses: for married couples, sorrows according to the flesh (difficulties associated with family responsibilities) are inevitable in this century.

If a Christian is ready to bear the burden of responsibility not only for himself personally before the Lord, but also for the whole family - please get married. But Paul is ALWAYS sorry for everyone who chooses marriage, for he had the opportunity to observe family and how difficult it is to please God, if necessary, also to please the family in what it may need.

7:29-31 the time is already short, so that those who have wives must be as those who have not;
Paul makes another argument for the urgency and superiority of choosing to serve God and do His work over all other kinds of choices:
As the day of reckoning for the whole Earth approaches, the Christian must submit himself entirely to the path of Christ as if he had nothing else at all - regardless of his “possession” and acquisitions.

If a Christian has a wife, she should not be an obstacle to him in doing the work of God (it's great if she is an assistant in this), if he bought something or he has a reason for joy / crying - and this should not slow him down in serving the Lord:
and weeping as if not weeping; and those who rejoice, as those who do not rejoice; and those who buy, as not acquiring;

If, for example, when I’m leaving on a business trip, I want to catch my train, then I’ll write down all the hours left before the train by seconds and won’t let anyone or anything distract me so much that I forget about the train or miss it.
The same is true with the rush to the “train” leaving for the new world order of God: no worries of this age should take us more time than it is necessary to provide the necessary minimum of life.

For the image of this world passes : the “train” to the world order of God is already on the right “platform” and at the appointed time it will take away everyone who can get to it in time - away from this wicked and disorderly age.

So, Christians, hurry up, it's better to catch the "train" of God than to get stuck in the wilds of everyday life and the blockages of the same problems that the whole wicked world chose to live in worries about satisfying their personal lusts.

A minimum of investment in personal arrangements and opportunism, and a maximum in the cause of God: such was Paul's attitude, which he showed to the Christians of Corinth as a personal example with his almost ascetic way of life.
The path of self-denial - the path of Christ - is the best that Paul could offer Christians not only in Corinth, but also to you and me.

7:32 And I want you to be without worries. The unmarried cares about the Lord's things, how to please the Lord;
Paul regarded the creation of a family as unnecessary worries that complicate the life of a Christian, for the time and effort that could be given to please God - a family Christian will give to solving family problems.

7:33 but a married man is concerned about the things of the world, how to please his wife.
Interestingly, Paul refers to a Christian's concern for pleasing his wife as worldly.
That is, a Christian, wanting to satisfy all the needs of his wife - it turns out that he cares about worldly things. In what sense, if the presence of a wife for a man was provided by God?
In the sense that the whole world no longer knows any other worries than how to marry, play with wives, equip a nest for them, feast on their attention and beauty, and fulfill their whims, for many husbands of this age, starting with Adam, like to please their wives. .
So, if a Christian is mired in the desire to satisfy all the whims of his wife in general to the detriment of God, he will not differ in anything from a worldly husband, and a Christian should not be a worldly husband.

To be a Christian husband is approximately like Akila - Priscilla: a wife - as a companion and assistant in serving the Lord and fulfilling the work of the Gospel, taking into account moving around many cities, lack of comfort, plenty of bread, and sometimes even overnight.

You can see how much more God is safer than a wife for a Christian: if you stop pleasing Him, then He will not immediately find a pestilence, or illness, or create problems. “Well, if you don’t want to, don’t, live as you want and as you can, while you still have the opportunity to live on My land”
And if you stop pleasing your wife, she will immediately do everything possible to turn the life of a Christian into a nightmare.

7:34 There is a difference between a married woman and a virgin: an unmarried woman cares about the Lord's things, how to please the Lord, in order to be holy both in body and spirit; but the married woman takes care of the things of the world, how to please her husband.
The same applies to marriage. With only one difference: it is much more difficult for a Christian wife to participate in the work of God compared to a Christian husband, because the wife is obliged to obey her husband and escape from his prohibitions if, for example, he is actively unbelieving, she is on the verge of the impossible.
A Christian husband, on the other hand, has the opportunity to please God even in the presence of a capricious and harmful wife: he has no obligation to obey his wife.

7:35 I say this for your own benefit, not to put chains on you, but so that you will [serve] the Lord decently and unceasingly without distraction.
Paul said all this in Corinth and to us - with you for edification - not to make life difficult for the congregation, but to make it easier.
Although, it is clear that not everyone could perceive the wish of a bachelor life from Pavel - as a sincere wish for them well.
A free and lonely Christian has much more opportunities to carry out the commissions of Christ without being distracted by that fuss, which not only does not bring closer to God and does not make a Christian better, but can also move away from God irrevocably, as, for example, Solomon's fuss about all his beautiful wives made him a stranger to God.

7:36 If anyone considers it indecent for his maiden that she, being in adulthood, should remain so, let him do as he wants: he will not sin; let [those] marry.
Some fathers of the daughters of Corinth, due to the inertia of worldly thinking, believed that if no one marries their daughter and she stays long in old maids, it means that she has some kind of serious defect or something of that kind, discrediting the whole family. It was useless to exhort such fathers of the advantages of a bachelor's life for their daughters.

7:37 But he who is unshakably firm in his heart and, not being constrained by need, but being powerful in his will, has decided in his heart to keep his virgin, he does well.
Those fathers who did not want their daughter the fate of this world (get married and have family problems) they should not strive at all costs to marry their daughter just so that people don’t think anything bad about him and his family: people’s opinion in such matters can be neglected.
Here Paul shows that the refusal to start a family can be voluntary and not because of a difficult financial situation that does not allow supporting a family. And if you want to take a vow of celibacy - for the sake of serving God.

7:38 Therefore, he who marries his maiden does well; but the one who does not give out does better.
This does not mean that those who did not marry their daughters had a reason to rise above those who married their daughters. For God, neither gender, nor age, nor marital status, nor citizenship, nor social status matters - NOTHING matters, except for the ACTIONS of a Christian according to God's principles.

“Doing better” in this case means “doing better” not in the eyes of God, but for oneself personally, since with unmarried daughters - a Christian father has fewer problems and more opportunities to devote himself to serving God.

7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord.
Marriage, remember, is not a temporary or experimental community of husband and wife, but for life, until death, one of the spouses. Only in the event of the death of the husband (wife) can one think about remarrying if the need arises.

If, nevertheless, remarriage is necessary for some reason, or if it turns out to be preferable for a Christian to loneliness, then a spouse should be selected from among his fellow believers: in the Lord.

It should be unnatural for Christians to seek a life partner for themselves - in a worldly environment. However, oddly enough, some Christians still do not consider it important whether their marriage partner will be from the world or from fellow believers, and this is sad: what can light have in common with darkness, or a believer with an unbeliever?
If there is nothing in common, or if only, for example, the marriage bed unites, then such a marriage will be even more problematic for a Christian. There is a high probability that sooner or later it will fall apart and “destroy”, besides, also the spirituality of a Christian.

Here is what Barkley writes about intermarriage, for example:
P Abel establishes one condition: "only in the Lord." That is, it must be a marriage between Christians. Mixed marriages are rarely successful. A long time ago Plutarch said that "marriage cannot be happy if the spouses do not profess the same religion." The highest love comes when a married couple loves each other and their love is sanctified by a common love for Christ. For then they not only live together, but also pray together. Their life and love unite and become an ongoing act of worship to God..

We agree with him on this issue.

7:40 But she is happier if she remains so, according to my advice;
And yet, Paul, wishing well to his fellow believers, advises them not to rush to bind themselves in marriage either for the first time or again.

I think I also have the spirit of God - Paul does not doubt that he has a holy spirit and that his advice is in agreement with the will of God. He simply emphasizes that his advice is in fact not Paul's own invention - a man, but is consistent with the spirit of God and comes from Paul - an apostle, anointed and servant of God.