How to become easy to communicate with people. Ease of communication

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There is an opinion that it is impossible to teach a person to communicate. Like, the ability to talk to people is some kind of genetically inherent ability: either given or not given. But in last years psychologists actively refute this stereotype and boldly declare: communication is exactly the same skill as dancing, singing or cooking. And just like in the development of any skill, there are certain exercises to practice.

We are in website today we have collected for you 8 unusual exercisesthat can make even the most shy introvert talkative. These are not just exercises to improve speech, but a whole range of activities that help you learn to think while talking and build a fascinating dialogue.

1. Retelling

For what: You learn to think and speak at the same time. The connection between thought and speech is strengthened.

How to perform: Open your favorite blog, find any article, choose any 2-3 paragraphs from it. Read them and retell them aloud to yourself. Then - the next few paragraphs, and so on until the end of the article.

Exercise duration: Depends on the length of the article. You need to retell 1 article per day.

2. Continuation of someone else's thought

For what: You learn to look for non-standard solutions, develop flexibility of thinking.

How to perform: Turn on the TV or any video on the Internet. Listen to the speaker for 30 seconds, then turn off the sound and develop his thought for 30 seconds.

Exercise duration: 5-10 minutes a day.

3. The mystery of Lewis Carroll

For what: Break your own stereotypes, habits of thinking in a certain way.

How to perform: The riddle that Carroll came up with is: "How is a raven like a table?" The exercise is based on it. It is advisable to do it together, so as not to juggle more “convenient” items for yourself. One calls any word, the other calls any other word, between them you insert the question: “How are they similar?” It turns out something like “How does the closet look like a rabbit?” Sit and look for options.

Exercise duration: You should start with 10 pairs.

4. Lecture to anyone about anything

For what: Fishing out inapplicable information from memory, you train your memory. Make your thinking process more flexible.

How to perform: The exercise is done in pairs. You choose any object from those that surround you and tell the interlocutor about it. How did he appear? Why is it important on a human scale? What is it used for here in this room? With regular practice, you will soon be able to close an hour-long lecture about an eraser, a chair, or a cupboard door.

Exercise duration: Start with 5 minutes.

5. Dialogue with a mirror

For what: You observe yourself from the outside, learn to speak coherently about your thoughts, and establish contact with yourself.

How to perform: The task is to, looking at yourself in the mirror, fish out any thought from the mind and develop it aloud. That is, you approach the mirror, start thinking and talking about what you think. Move smoothly from thought to thought, connecting them with each other. After a while, you will start to get a coherent and sincere story about what is spinning in your head.

Exercise duration: 10 minutes a couple of times a week.

6. Talking with your mouth full

For what: One-time improvement in diction before the "speech".

How to perform: There are different options here. You can put an ordinary spoon on your tongue or a handful of nuts on your cheeks and try to pronounce the words as clearly as possible.

Exercise duration: Enough 7-10 minutes.

04/01/2017 at 08:45

Hello dear friends!

Communication is very important for a modern person! Thanks to him, we share with others emotions, experiences, joys and troubles.

We can find a job just by talking, making useful contacts, finding a life partner, and simply conveying the feeling of living life, literally! But how to achieve ease and ease?

Introvertism is becoming more and more a part of nature. It is easier for us to write than to call a person. Less and less I want to visit noisy companies, spend time looking for friends. Moreover, we find it painful to make new acquaintances simply by saying “Hi, how are you?”

Ease of communication is an easy exchange of information, knowledge, reflections and thoughts that do not take you out of a sense of comfort into an atmosphere that strains your consciousness.

This is a process in which you remain yourself, enjoying the company of people who are close to you in spirit or radically different, with the same pleasure.

Communication is able to unite groups of people with completely different views. And even if you do not fully know the opponent's language, you can establish contact with him using other, non-verbal signs.

This is a fun game that allows you to improve, explore space and get the most invaluable experience of communicating with another, living person, in the form of an unread book.

As everybody

There are people who are used to building their world according to a template. “This is how it should be”, “Everyone is like this” - these are habits that do not allow you to go beyond. Such individuals are more accustomed to being in the status “like everyone else”, however, with this approach, the risk of living the life of a stranger is too great, and by no means their own.

It is painfully difficult for them to stand out, discuss, listen to the opinions of other individuals, learning something new and interesting for themselves.

And the worst thing about all this is to remain yourself, defending the right to vote, look, belief or position.For this reason, many prefer to close in their little world and take a position incognito, saving themselves from the flow of fresh air.

Common Mistake

I want to warn you against one common mistake in communication. Little is said about her, but her influence is great. Very often, a person is so eager to arouse the interest of the interlocutor that he resorts to the help of a negative trigger. What does it mean?

He can talk about some frightening phenomena or events, rumors or nasty things seen on the blue screen. And this scheme works! The opponent was frightened by the message, and thus he became interested.

But at the same time, this is just focusing on the danger that is being communicated out loud. After listening to a portion of the negative, an unpleasant aftertaste will remain. Of course, most people use this technique unconsciously.

But I will reveal a little secret. Such listeners are lovers of "hot", empty fables and the desire to rattle the information further. You will not cause any interest in your person in this way. Moreover, such a summary of information is like recitation and the desire to smooth out the silence.

Are there effective advice from psychologistswho know firsthand how to properly build a conversation with people? And what qualities do you need to develop in yourself?

Positive outlook on the world

Radiating a good mood, charging the atmosphere optimism , you can get people's attention to your personality without resorting to intimidation. People are drawn to the good and this craving outweighs the need to receive a portion of the negative aspects.

Learn to bring light and goodness in all your manifestations. A smile, friendly postures and a look into the eyes of the interlocutor are must have! Make jokes correctly without using sarcasm or irony.

It is especially important to keep yourself in the company strangers who are not aware that this is your humor

Listening skills

You can endlessly rant about your victories, plans, difficulties or discoveries, only you must provide a similar action to your opponent.

Listening is as pleasant as speaking, only silently. Thus, you show a person that he is interesting and, most importantly, important!

Learn to ask and wait for an answer, comment and supplement the conversation, participating in it with the help of leading or alternative questions. Master the tactics of passive listening and enjoy getting to know a personality that you simply have not heard before!

Acceptance of someone else's opinion

Tolerance - this is an opportunity to show tolerance, good breeding and intelligence. Destructive criticism, challenging views and outright confrontation in an attempt to prove the correctness of your words will only please your Ego!

But it's time to learn to think not only for yourself, but also for the comfort of the interlocutor's pastime. You are also responsible for the quality of the conversation!

Respect people!

Respect - this is the calling card of the individual in relation to another. Nobody is interested in a banal demonstration of bad character , especially when a person justifies his boorish behavior with the phrase: “Yes, well, that’s how I am!”.

Be more restrained and wiser, try to show your best qualities, experiencing pride in education and high morality.

Avoid arrogance, irritability and aggression, these are the qualities that need to be tamed and minimized. Leave people the brightest thing that you have and they will reach for it.

No masks

The phrase “Be yourself” does not mean “Expose the insides of the basest qualities”, but rather show your facets of philanthropy, responsiveness, sincerity.

After all, these are the aspects that actually form a person, the word "Man" with a capital letter!

Friends, this is the point!

Subscribe to updates, and in the comments share your tips for improving the quality of easy communication. How do you make new acquaintances? What are you focusing on? I look forward to your thoughts!

See you on the blog, bye bye!

Effective Communication is one of the most important life skills we can develop, yet many of us usually don't put in enough effort for it. If you want to become more sociable and better understand the people around you, here are some important tips to help you communicate more effectively.

1. Control your body language

You want to show your interlocutor that you are open to discussion, but at the same time your hands are crossed. You say you're listening, but you keep your eyes on the screen of your phone.

Our non-verbal cues often reveal more than we think. No matter how good you are at making eye contact or how you carry yourself while communicating, remember that you are constantly communicating, even when you are not speaking.

What are some ways to influence your body to communicate more effectively? Assume a position of power if necessary before serious conversation. Smile if you want to show your openness and friendliness. Learn to read other people's body language so you can communicate in the best possible way.

2. Get rid of unnecessary words

You can also take your hands out of your pockets or just relax and pause before speaking. Pauses in conversation will seem more uncomfortable for you than for other people.

3. Planning a conversation

Conversation is an art that few people have mastered.

To fill possible gaps in communication, especially when communicating with people you barely know, make a communication plan. The best topics that will help eliminate awkward silence during a conversation should include everything related to family and leisure, occupation, as well as goals and dreams.

You must install mutual language with another person if you talk about what is interesting to him.

4. Tell an interesting story

Stories have a huge impact. They activate our brain, make communication richer, livelier and more interesting, and make us more persuasive.

Telling a personal story can help with interviews.

5. Ask questions and clarify the words of the interlocutor

By asking questions and repeating the other person's last few words, you show interest in what they are saying, and it also allows you to clarify points that may be misunderstood (for example, "Are you going to buy tickets for Saturday's game? Did I understand you correctly? ”).

It also helps develop the conversation and fill in awkward pauses. Instead of trying to talk about the weather, ask questions (eg, “Are there any plans for the summer?” or “What have you been reading lately?”). Be sure to discuss the answers, as it's more important to be interested than to seem interesting.

6. Eliminate distractions

It's pretty unethical to poke around on your phone while someone is talking to you.

You won't be able to get rid of all gadgets and technology, but putting aside all those distractions for socializing shouldn't be too hard for you.

7. Adjust to the listener

The best speakers change their communication style depending on who they are talking to.

You would probably use a different style of communication with co-workers or your boss than you would with your close friends, children, or parents.

Always try to take into account the characteristics of the other person when you are trying to convey information.

8. Be Concise

For example, to correctly write a text message, use the following structure: “Background”, “Reason”, “Information”, “End”, “Conclusion (request, feedback)”.

The information communicated must be specific, consistent, complete, and at the same time optimal, as well as ethical.

9. Put yourself in the place of the interlocutor

Communication is like a two-way street. If you have an opposing point of view, you can reduce the tension during the conversation if you understand why the other person thinks differently.

For example, you should not prove something to your interlocutor if he is too tired to carry on a conversation.

The development of empathy (empathy) helps to better understand the process of communication, as well as increase the effectiveness of communication.

10. Listen and listen again

The best thing you can do to develop your communication skills is to learn to listen to other people.

Focus your attention on the interlocutor and let him speak without interrupting him. It's not really that easy, but effective communication is a collection of spoken words that are intertwined with the ability to genuinely listen to the other person. If you are not deprived of this quality, the other person is likely to listen to you carefully as well.

Why is it important to be social

The ability to connect and develop relationships with other people has a strong positive impact on your entire life. It doesn't matter if you want or want to improve the effectiveness of business communication, it is important for you to know how to become sociable.

Communication skills are the key to building and developing friendships and building a strong social support network. Communication skills help you achieve your goals without compromising other people's values.

People who do not have experience in the field of effective communication do not know how to behave correctly in various situations in the process of communication. Some of us have the necessary skills but lack the confidence to use them. In any case, with practice, you will increase your confidence and improve your communication skills.

Build your confidence by interacting with other people. Develop communication skills that will increase your chances of building successful relationships.

A person is not born with the experience of effective communication. Like any other skill, it is developed through trial and error, as well as repetition in practice.

How to become sociable

3 areas of communication you need to develop

1. Non-verbal communication (body language).
2. Verbal communication (speaking skill).

Non-verbal communication occupies a huge share in the communication process. What you say to people through your eyes or your body language has just as much impact as what you say in words.

When you feel anxious, you act accordingly. For example, you may avoid eye contact or speak very softly.

In other words, you are trying to limit communication so that the interlocutor does not give your behavior a negative assessment.

1. Emotional state (impatience, fear).
2. Attitude towards the interlocutor (submissiveness, contempt).
3. Knowledge of the topic of communication.
4. Honesty.

How to Improve Non-Verbal Communication Skills

Step 1. Problem definition

To get started, ask yourself a few questions:

1. Do I have trouble maintaining eye contact when talking to others?
2. Am I smiling too much out of nervousness or too little?
3. Am I slouching?
4. Am I keeping my head straight?
5. Am I speaking in a timid voice?
6. Am I talking too fast when I'm worried?
7. Am I crossing my arms or legs?

Important components of non-verbal communication that you should pay attention to include:

1. Pose (head raised up, body tilted forward).
2. Movement and gestures (crossing hands).
3. Physical distance (being closer or further away when talking to others).
4. Eye contact (make eye contact or look away).
5. Facial expression (smile, stony expression).
6. Tone of voice (speech is loud or soft).
7. Confidence in voice (no comment).

Step 2: Experiment and practice non-verbal skills

Try to practice only one skill at a time. Once you are sure you have mastered it, you can move on to the next one.

You can ask a close friend or relative to describe your nonverbal behavior. The feedback we receive can be very helpful because we don't know exactly how others perceive us.

After you have determined problem areas, change your behavior. You can practice your new non-verbal skills by standing in front of a mirror.

After you get the results from the practice at home, start applying the new skills in real communication with other people. Good idea– start small, talking, for example, with sellers in stores.

Try to increase the intensity of eye contact during the conversation. Observe your actions and pay attention to the reactions of others. For example, is the other person friendlier or more talkative when you make more eye contact and smile more?

If you want to learn how to become sociable, then one of your biggest challenges will be starting a conversation and keeping it going.

It's okay if you don't talk much, because it's not always easy to think about interesting things and talk about them at the same time. This is especially true when you are worried.

On the other hand, some anxious people talk too much, which is also not the standard of communication.

How to Improve Verbal Communication Skills

Step 1. Problem definition

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to identify areas you need to work on:

1. Am I having trouble talking?
2. Am I quick to stop talking?
3. Can I just say "Yes" or nod and try to get other people to keep talking so I don't have to talk myself?
4. I don't want to talk about myself?

1. Start the conversation by saying something general and not too personal, like talking about the weather (“Great day, isn't it?”).
2. Give a compliment (“This sweater looks great on you”).
3. Make an observation (“I noticed you were reading a book about sailing, do you have a boat?”).

You don't have to be witty to be social. Try to be sincere, be yourself.

Some time after the start of the conversation, especially if you already knew the interlocutor a little, it would be advisable to move on to more personal topics, such as relationships, family values, goals and beliefs.

Remember to pay attention to your non-verbal behavior - make eye contact and speak loudly enough that others can hear you without asking you about what you said.

Remember that a conversation is not a solo, but a duet. When communicating, do not say too little or too much. Try to speak, allowing your interlocutor to speak, while modest silence will not do you any good either.

Disclose information about yourself, such as your leisure time, your favorite football team, your hobbies and interests. Personal information should not be “too personal”. You can start by giving your opinion on the things you like.

Ask questions about your interlocutor. If you've just met him now, try not to get into very personal topics.

Try to ask open-ended rather than closed questions.

A closed question is a question that is answered with one or two words, such as “Yes” or “No”: “Do you like your job?”. An open-ended question suggests a much more detailed answer, such as “How did you get this job?”

To understand how to become sociable, do not forget that people usually like to talk about themselves, especially if the other person shows a genuine interest in it.

Any conversation ends sooner or later, so it makes sense to prepare for its completion.

To end the conversation, you can say that you need to get something to drink, find a friend at a party, return to work, or you can promise to continue the conversation later (for example, “I hope we get a chance to talk again” or “See you soon.” time").

Step 2: Experiment and Practice Verbal Communication

Below are some practical recommendations:

1. Talk to a stranger at the bus stop, in the elevator, or in line at the store.
2. Talk to your neighbors about the weather or what's going on in your area.
3. Interact with colleagues. Communicate positively with your co-workers during your lunch break.
4. and develop friendships with people you know. Invite a colleague or acquaintance to meet for a cup of coffee, or invite a relative who has not been seen for a long time to.
5. Do it and more. Make a commitment to give at least two compliments each day, preferably in words you wouldn't normally say. Remember to always be sincere, for this, give a compliment to someone who, in your opinion, deserves it.

How to become sociable? Get confident.

Confidence in the process of communication is a sincere expression of one's own views, desires and emotions, which causes respect for them from the interlocutor.

When you speak confidently, your communication style is not judged and you are responsible for your own actions.

If you depend on other people's opinions, you may have difficulty expressing your thoughts and emotions openly.

Confidence skills can become difficult to master, especially if being confident means you are behaving differently than you usually do. Perhaps you are afraid of conflicts in the process of communication, always agree with the views of other people, and also avoid expressing your own opinion.

As a result of this behavior, you have probably developed a passive communication style. Instead, you may seek to control and dominate others by developing confident communication skills.

Confident communication has many benefits. It will help you relate to others more sincerely, reduce the level of anxiety and resentment. As a result, you gain more control over your life and reduce the number of circumstances that are beyond your control.

Confidence is a learned skill, not a personality trait you are born with. Confidence is not part of who you are, because it comes from taking the necessary action, practice, and discipline.

Step 1. Problem definition

To get started, ask yourself the following questions to determine where you need to work:

1. Am I asking for what I want?
2. Is it hard for me to express my opinion?
3. How easily can I say “No”?

How to be confident in communication

Many people find it difficult to ask what they need, feeling they have no right to ask or fear the consequences of the question. You might be thinking, "What if he says no?" or "She'll think I'm rude and rude."

When you ask about something, it is helpful to start by expressing your understanding of the other person's problem. For example, “I know that you have been very busy lately.”

Then talk about the essence of your question and how you feel about it. For example, "This presentation is due next Friday and I'm very worried that it won't be ready on time."

It is important to talk about your feelings and not blame others. For example, it's better to say "I'm offended when you're late for a meeting with me" than "You're always late! You don't care about me!"

Then describe what you want from the interlocutor. Be as concise and positive as possible. For example, “I would really like to understand how we can speed up our project.”

Finally, tell the interlocutor what he will receive in return if your request is granted. For example, “I would try to help create slides for a presentation on next week”.

Many people have trouble expressing their views openly. Perhaps you are waiting for others to give their opinion first, and only then share yours if both opinions coincide.

Being confident means being ready to express your opinion, even if others do not, or your opinion differs from the views of others.

However, confidence means being able to accept new information and change your mind. However, this does not mean that you have changed your mind, because others think otherwise.

How to learn to say "No"

Saying "No" can be difficult if you're not confident enough. However, if you cannot say “No” to other people, you will not be able to take responsibility for your own life.

When you say “No”, use an affirmative posture from your non-verbal communication arsenal (stand straight, make eye contact, speak loudly).

Before you speak, decide what your position is.

Saying “No” does not need to apologize, defend yourself and make excuses.

If you find it difficult to say “No” right away, answer “I need time to think.” This will help you get out of the vicious circle where you always agree with someone else's opinion.

Remember, everyone has the right to say “No!”.

Step 2: Build Your Confidence

First, reflect on the above about times when you avoid the opportunity to express your opinion, say "No" or ask what you need. How could you handle the situation differently?

Practice speaking aloud while alone with yourself so that you get used to the new way of speaking. For example, "Sorry, I can't help you with these," or "I want the job done by the end of tomorrow."

Then simulate a situation that will arise next week in which you can show your confidence. Start by speaking your mind or saying “No” to those close to you, and then apply the skills you've learned to communicating with others.

Remember that confidence is like any new skill and takes time and practice. Don't be too demanding on yourself at the very beginning if you are worried or don't understand how to do everything right. It will take time for you to get used to the new style of communication and the changes that will take place within you.

Attitudes that prevent you from becoming sociable and self-confident

1. Being confident means being selfish.

This is not true, simply because expressing your opinions and preferences does not mean that other people are forced to follow you. If you behave confidently (not aggressively), you do not deny having respect for the values ​​and beliefs of other people.

2. Passivity is the way to be loved.

Being passive means agreeing with others, always letting them control you and not asking them for anything. This behavior does not guarantee that others will like or admire you. In fact, they may perceive you as a boring and frustrated person.

3. It is better to remain silent than to speak the truth

In some cases, it is really better for us not to express our own opinion, especially if it concerns the relationship between the leader and the subordinate, and then not always. More often than not, however, other people will be interested in hearing your opinion. Think about how you would feel if everyone always agreed with you.

4. I must do whatever is asked of me.

When interacting with our friends, we may worry that we will look selfish if we do not do everything that we are asked to do. At work, we may worry that we will appear lazy or ineffective if we do not satisfy all the requests of our colleagues.

Other people won't know how busy you are or if you have other plans until you tell them.

Although it is necessary to practice communication skills, in order to better understand how to become sociable, you should carefully observe other people. Ask yourself who do you feel comfortable talking to? Study their behavior: smile, gestures, words, tone of voice. Introduce other people's chips into your life.

Question for psychologists

Hello! I am 17 years old, graduating from school this year, and I have a problem that is difficult for me to figure out on my own. Even last year, I was withdrawn, insecure, afraid of everything, and I had huge barriers in communicating with people, especially guys. I went to a psychologist, worked hard on myself, gradually overcame my fears, learned to live in the present, not to wait, but to act, love myself, etc. In the summer, I made new friends (guys) with whom I had fun, and they liked talking to me. Right now I am terribly uncomfortable, I can not find a balance between eccentricity in self-expression and common sense. Some put pressure on me with their "norms", "limits", but I give in, I constantly worry that it's boring, uninteresting with me, I'm generally surprised how I had friends before that, how could they tell me that I'm interesting ?? I can not be myself - I DO NOT KNOW what I am, who I am! I constantly need someone's support, opinion, advice. At the same time, thoughts and feelings do not correspond at all to sensations in the body, for example. Everyone has their own social circle. Most are extroverts, I am an introvert. I also want to communicate with many people, but I can’t choose topics, the conversation turns out to be short and stressful. I want to like it, I want to interest, and I know that for this you just need to relax and be yourself, but nothing comes of it :(

Received 5 tips - consultations from psychologists, to the question: How to find ease in communication, while remaining yourself?

Hello Sabina! The fact that you visited a psychologist many times and worked out, which served as a good incentive for new acquaintances and pleasant communication, is wonderful, but it didn’t last long, since you yourself write that the opinion of others who live according to a template, “ so right”, “this is how it should be”, and nothing else - more, and out of habit - such people are calmer and easier to live “like everyone else”, “like others”, however, not their own life, but someone else’s, than to stand out, to express oneself, to discuss, to hear different opinions and at the same time to remain oneself. You are now at such an age, as is your psyche - you are subject to many temptations, views, directions, and there are so many of them that your head can spin, therefore, go in a conscious right direction, BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, only your own body can help you, in of all its integrity: thoughts, feelings, sensations, intuition, and not only pleasant ones, but those that appear and manifest themselves at a given moment in time. And proceeding from the following: suitable - not suitable, pleasant - not pleasant, like - dislike - this is on the one hand, and on the other, what is internally hooked, like a hook - this is what you really need to work with, if it’s difficult on your own, then again turn to a psychologist - work out, and then go on your own. From your letter it is clear that you now need professional support to help you understand yourself, your feelings and work through some unfinished situations that prevent you from adequately accepting yourself in communication, others, relying on yourself. Since the sitting block inside - "meet the expectations of others" - is now much stronger than accepting yourself and presenting yourself as you are, which ultimately gives freedom of choice and respect for the differences of individuals. Since, you still do not fully know yourself and have studied. You can apply for a face-to-face consultation in your city, or contact our psychologists for an online consultation, to whom sympathy will appear - the decision is yours. All the best. Sincerely, Ludmila K.

Good answer 4 bad answer 0

Most are extroverts, I am an introvert. I also want to communicate with many people, but I can’t choose topics, the conversation turns out to be short and stressful.

Connecting with others is a game and this game can be learned:

1. Make it a rule to be the first to greet those around you. Firstly, you yourself will notice that the more often, the easier it is, and secondly, the quantity (where does it go) turns into quality, and you will soon be ready to say more!

2. Learn to be confident (or pretend to be confident). Straighten your shoulders and lift your chin high, letting the world know (and at the same time reminding yourself) that you have appeared, and you are something of yourself.

3. Do not be afraid to look people in the eye: the interlocutor will understand that you are interested in him, and will reciprocate.

4. Learn the science of small talk. Start with people who are easy and simple to communicate with, gradually switching to prospective friends.

5. Prepare a reason to talk. A little imagination and you will understand that there are a million ways to attract attention to yourself: a magazine in your hand, an unusual decoration or a detail of a toilet - and start a conversation with those who are interested is as easy as shelling pears:

6. Ask actively. If you feel uncomfortable talking to someone, ask more questions that require lengthy answers.

7. Autotraining. Remind yourself periodically that you are a diamond worthy of admiration.

8. Dreaming is not bad. And very useful. Imagine yourself chatting freely with a group of people on any topic, ringleader in a large company, half of which are your ardent fans. Believable? When you believe, you can do it.

9. Theatre studio. So many outstanding actors also had to overcome stiffness. The art of reincarnation helps to look at yourself from the outside.

10. Try to play your antipode, yourself, on the contrary, until you get used to the image completely and irrevocably.

11. Try to do what you fear the most. If you succeed at least something from what you had to give in to before, congratulations, victory is yours!

12. Liberated himself - help another. Support a shy stranger in the company, and then both will not be bored being shy.

13. Accept your condition as a fact. Keep in mind that the world is good because it consists of all sorts of different personalities, including phlegmatic people and people who simply love loneliness. So do not overdo it, because you are you.

People will perceive you exactly as you see yourself.

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Hello Sabina.

Someone's support is great! It's hard when you become addicted to it.

But you have changes. Now they are or not? Maybe you began to look at positive changes as for granted?

In your letter, I was most alarmed by the fact that you talk a lot about the reactions of your environment “they liked to communicate with me ... many liked the changes”, you write about yourself in passing and more about actions, but not about feelings « I worked on myself, gradually overcame my fears, learned to live in the present, not to wait, but to act, to love myself.

"with meboring, uninteresting , (and to myself) I’m generally surprised how I had friends before that, how could I be told that I was interesting? I can’t be myself - I DON’T KNOW what I am, who I am!.

What is stopping you from going to your next appointment?

All the best,

Anya.

Good answer 5 bad answer 1

Hello Sabina! You worked with a psychologist and it helped you. You write that you were interesting, you had friends and you communicated easily. And what happened? Now you are uncomfortable, you are under pressure, you have lost your balance, you do not know what you are. What happened, at what point did you start to change? I think, precisely because you suddenly "lost" yourself, you need advice and support. How do you know that your thoughts and feelings do not match the sensations in your body? Try to answer these questions, and perhaps you will understand something about yourself. If it is difficult for you to figure it out yourself, contact a psychologist internally. Good luck to you!

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What does the phrase “be simpler” really mean? For a well-known politician or movie star, this is dining in an ordinary restaurant without undue pathos. For a millionaire, wear ordinary clothes and walk. For a woman - to accept and fulfill the requests of her husband without unnecessary "sawing". Simplicity always varies from person to person. But when you hear the phrase “keep it simple, and people will reach out to you!” - a natural question arises: how exactly to become such a simple person? After all, these advisers, alas, do not give any direct hints about what it means to become such a “shirt-guy”.

Arrogance - fight

By "simplicity" is meant nothing more than the absence of pride. Many people seriously think about how to stop being selfish, thinking only about themselves and their needs. Very often, those who wish to find spiritual simplicity seem too arrogant to those around them (ironically, in fact, this is not always true). To get rid of excess pride, if any, you need to learn to think about others, to sympathize with other people. In general, to slightly shift the focus of your attention from your own person to the world around you.

On the other hand, if you hear a desire to become simpler not from the most worthy of emulation, then, on the contrary, you should think about maintaining your standard. After all, why be likened to primitive and narrow-minded people, behind whose words, there is envy of other people's talents or a desire to simply close someone's mouth?

Sociability and friendliness are the best allies

Simplicity also often refers to kindness, friendliness and sociability. If you are a reserved person by nature, start small. Try to start chatting online. Sign up for interesting courses where you can at the same time hone your skills of friendly and benevolent communication with people. This situation is fundamentally different from the first case, when spiritual simplicity is not enough for a proud person. If a boastful and too narcissistic person suffers from too high self-esteem, then closed and indecisive people, whose isolation is often perceived as arrogance, on the contrary, lack confidence and the ability to communicate.

Loving yourself means treating others better too.

In order to be a simple person, this item is mandatory. Since being a simple person is a real emotional Everest for both the hardened proud and for the shy and withdrawn loners. Self-love is necessary in order to be able to sympathize with others, to empathize with them. First of all, you need to stop hurting yourself. Take care of your well-being no less than you care about others. It sounds simple, but many do not do this - because then they may appear selfish in the eyes of others. Or such people think that their needs are not important. But how can someone seem simple and good-natured whose physical or emotional needs are not met?

Be yourself - drop the false "I"

To do this, you first need to figure out what makes you happy. Perhaps your work delivers real torment, while being in your garden or in the country you feel a surge of strength and inspiration? Maybe you like reading fairy tales to children? Write poems, draw, do charity work? Once you find these activities for yourself, use them as often as possible. And the more you enjoy these activities, the more happy and “simple” you can become, because to be simple means to be
happier.

All these things help to develop a sense of confidence, a positive attitude towards yourself and others. Feeling pride - not pride, but pride - for your achievements and for who you are, you will always appear in the eyes of others as a happy, talented and loving person.