Destined to be loved. A man capable of action is doomed to be loved

Capable of action, destined to be loved...
Women's wisdom

Looking for a man capable of action: be the support of the family, protect and take responsibility in difficult times. I am looking not only for a strong male who can help conceive, but also to become a father to my child, provide for a family, take care of material concerns when I cannot earn a living while on parental leave.

Looking for a love and loved one who you can rely on and trust. "Is not it too much?" - you ask. A little. Fine. If at least something from this list is characteristic of a man, he is doomed to be loved, many women believe.

Someone thinks that women's sympathies are on the side of the bright handsome machos, always rushing after their capricious luck, changing women, cars and interiors. Yes, girls like these guys too. But for some reason they marry those who not only look like a man, but are also a man.

A man makes a real man's act

You can learn to speak a thousand beautiful and necessary words, hanging bizarre noodles on women's ears, but never learn to do real masculine deeds.

- What would you do for your beloved? I asked my friends.
I would wash the dishes...
- I can sleepy go and clean the car from snow ...
I always take out the trash...
- I give her a hand and pass forward ...
- I cook dinner when I come early...
- I bring money to the house, is that not enough?
- Every day I give her unforgettable sex.
I buy gifts for her...
- I write poems to her and dedicate novels ...
- I give her a new star every day ...

Lots of small and big things that make up the thin fabric of our relationship. Do we know how to notice and appreciate them, do we take them for granted and are we talking about these actions when we identify a real man by them.

Sometimes men forget that protecting their woman and children is not an act, it is a way of life for an adequate man, she cannot do without this protection, but without the stars from the sky - easily.

Some people think that men's actions are some kind of heroism, a feat. Of course, the feat too, as, for example, was accomplished by the world champion in scuba diving Shavarsh Karapetyan, who saved 20 people by diving into ice water to a drowned trolleybus, and was badly injured, breaking windows with his bare feet. Then he reproached himself for not saving more. Shavarsh himself became seriously ill, and he had to leave the sport. Heroes save people from fire, throw themselves under the wheels of a car to pull out a child, risk their lives for the sake of people.

But I would like to pay attention to men's actions that require no less heroism, but we encounter them at every step.

A man in a divorce leaves everything to a woman - an act is several orders of magnitude higher than any gifts.
A man's act is to keep his word.
The male act is to take the blame or responsibility for a problematic situation.
A man's act is not to run away from problems, not to shift them onto other people's shoulders (most often women's), but to resolve them as they come.
It is a man's act to stay with the children and bring them up if the mother is not there.

I saw this scene in the supermarket.

The old woman was standing with a cart, in which there was nothing at all: a loaf, kefir, a pack of cottage cheese and tea. I asked the cashier not to break through everything at once, I was afraid that there would not be enough money ... After each punched purchase, I counted out a trifle. Behind her stood two well-dressed guys with chips and beer. They were noisy and impatiently stomped around the bar with chocolates. Healthy, prosperous.

Hey, granny, come on now, don't delay the queue.

The old woman frowned in embarrassment and smiled pathetically at the cashier. And suddenly the man standing in front, who had not yet managed to move away from the cash register, resolutely thrust several bills to the cashier.

Come on, grandma. I will pay for you.

She was so confused. She babbled words of gratitude, and the men were already gone.

Unfortunately, sons raised by single mothers have no one to take an example from in order to perform real (that is, normal) masculine and human deeds. Today we have found ourselves in a situation where a man is "good" already because he earns something there, rarely and little gets drunk and does not beat his other half - thereby, as it were, he commits a certain act. Such is the "positive hero". And nothing more is required of him.

Only here a man can leave his wife with a child without a livelihood, and he himself drives around in a Mercedes. Only in our country it can be considered normal when a man does not work, lies on the couch, and a woman works hard at three jobs and provides for her family. Don't you think that we ourselves sometimes indulge in this, wrongly raising our sons and allowing our husbands to use us.

It seems to me that we need to remember that a real male act is possible where there is a woman who can inspire him to this act.

Vlasenko Irina

The quality inherent in nature in every man, you just need to know how to awaken it in your chosen one. Find out what 6 tricks will make your lover be considerate and generous.

Rejoice in gifts

Why do we love giving gifts to little children so much? They know how to really enjoy them! Wanting to once again see the delight of another surprise on the baby’s face, we will not be too lazy to spend money and time and purchase another (even one hundred and twenty-fifth and not too necessary) toy, book, and anything! Children's spontaneity and the ability to enjoy little things are worth learning: the more joyfully you react to each, even a very small gift of your loved one, the more he will want to please you again. Of course, we are not talking about pretense - insincerity is always felt and will do you a disservice. But sometimes it is possible and necessary to learn to “turn on” a little girl in herself who accepts gifts with admiration and joy.

Ask for help

Generosity hand goes hand in hand with the desire to care and protect. If your man does not fully correspond to the image of a knight-protector, it is worth considering: do you yourself give him such an opportunity? The image of an independent and independent "iron lady" can become so familiar that we gradually wean ourselves from showing female fragility and weakness - and if so, a man sometimes does not assume that we are waiting for manifestations of attention from him. Start asking your loved one for help - even if at first it will be difficult for you to do this, and your inner voice will insistently whisper: “I can handle it myself!” One of the basic needs of a man is to feel needed, and if you give him this feeling, he will respond to you with generosity and sincere care.

give thanks

A woman who with enviable enthusiasm scolds her chosen one for greed, but who does not know how to thank from the bottom of her heart, only contributes to the fact that her man will become more greedy and mean every day. To make your loved one want to spend money on you, appreciate the efforts made by him and by all means praise his generosity - tell us how important this quality is for you and how you admire his male care and attention to you. Sincere gratitude and admiration can work wonders - even the most economical man will want to endlessly surround you with care and surprise you with gifts just like that, without any reason.

Talk about your desires

Men, unfortunately (or fortunately?), do not know how to read minds, and hints, as a rule, are difficult to understand. Therefore, if your man is alien to manifestations of generosity, and this upsets you, do not expect him to "guess" the reasons for your discontent - he will not guess! Tell your loved one about your desires - but not in the form of reproaches (“You always feel sorry for the money for me!”), Comparisons (“But Olya’s husband gives flowers for no reason!”) ​​Or uncompromising demands (“I want you to buy me a coat "). The best way is not to criticize or manipulate, but to express your feelings. A loving man will definitely want to please you at least with a bouquet of flowers, if you sincerely admit: “I would be very pleased if you would give me gifts more often - your attention means so much to me!”

Allow yourself to dream

Sometimes we ourselves seem to block generosity in a loved one, sometimes without even realizing it. Has it ever happened that a man’s question “What can I give you, dear?” did you answer: “I have everything I need, don’t waste money”? Or maybe you scolded the chosen one for a gift that was too expensive and even offered to return it to the store? Keep in mind: such a reaction is a super-powerful "silencer" of male generosity: what is the reason to take care of a woman who "has everything" and who does not consider herself worthy of expensive gifts? If you, looking at women surrounded by male attention, are wondering how they achieve such an attitude, here is your answer: they are simply not afraid to desire and know how to accept what they want - with gratitude, but also with dignity, not being afraid to "be indebted" and not trying act as an accountant, counting every penny spent by a man.

This phrase by Coco Chanel best (and shortest of all))) characterizes our dad. This does not apply to the "man" who rides on daddy's shoulders. And it would be great if Egor inherited at least part of his father's qualities ... It's funny that Lena said the same thing on the eve of the wedding: "Dad, if my husband is even a little like you, I will be happy"))) Misha for a long time considered this the main achievement in life, and then Egor appeared and immediately found something to strive for further)) The patients who remained in Russia believe that there were more achievements. Some asked Misha to be the godfather of their children, who were born healthy thanks to Misha. Some still write in social networks: "Yes, all our women in Udachny prayed for him!" Before emigrating, Misha worked under a contract in Yakutia. 20 years have already passed, but people remember. In general, Misha is from the Crimea. When we arrived in Yalta as part of our enchanting romance ...

Former colleagues from the Yalta maternity hospital, including the charismatic chief medical officer, came out to meet him, although Mikhail Borisovich did not even call them for 10 years. And then I decided to meet, and they came, as if they parted the day before yesterday. So what if I didn’t stay in the profession, Misha believes ... but I don’t have “my own cemetery” ( medical term, surgeons and obstetrician-gynecologists know), all my patients and all "my" children are alive.

It is curious that Misha's grandfather accepted all his children from Misha's grandmother, himself ... A remote railway station near Chita .... until you get to the maternity hospital, in winter it is generally unrealistic. 14 children... and Misha gave medicine 10 years. He cut himself out for ideological reasons: "for career growth, compromises are needed - alas, Russian medicine in places, hmm, how would it be softer? - is immoral. Yes, gynecologists make good money, but the more I earned, the more I feared for Lena's future and her safety ". Kidnapping was a harsh Russian reality. Lena graduated from the University in Canada.

Today, Misha's profession is construction and hardcore (that we have snow, that we have heat, that we have torrential rain ...). Sometimes buyers of new units ask Misha: "can we make sure that you are the one who finishes our house?" The owner of the company leads potential partners to the objects of the target - he pretends that everyone works for him like that))

Vooot, and Yegor's assets today include a complete set of daddy's son, which is encouraging: naughtyness - 2 pieces, curiosity - 3, leadership qualities - 10, fantasy - 4, and a sea of ​​\u200b\u200bcharm. He is very stubborn and stubborn. But outgoing and kind. Soars up to the ceiling and rowdy if he loses at least something. “We won’t take Mom with us anymore to play cards - she often comes across jokers.” "Dad, tell mom in a STRONG VOICE to give me candy." But. The favorite symbol is the heart, the most frequently gifted person is the mother. Dad got as many as 4 pieces for his birthday)) Happy birthday, darling)) We are all very proud of you))

In the eternal question "Loves - does not love?" It is difficult for us women to understand men. One, without blinking an eye, makes a confession in order to achieve a closer relationship, and having received his own, leaves in English. The other is silent like a partisan, but carefully wraps you in a warm blanket on a cold evening. How to distinguish pretense from true feelings, so as not to build illusions?

Women love with their ears

The girls are giving great importance words and emotions. We need confessions, sweet text messages, jealousy. Hearing "I love you", we are ready to follow the chosen one barefoot in the snow. And at the same time, we don’t think about it - what is it: he fell in love on the very first evening? Among the strong half of humanity there are many talkers, womanizers, owners, etc., for whom love for you can be no stronger than for grandmother's pies. And to make a confession and give you a storm of feelings and emotions costs nothing for them. And not only to you.

True love is proven by actions, not words.

Talkers don't put into words the meaning you expect. When the phrase "I love you" becomes a habit, it loses its value. A serious man will not rant about a suddenly erupted volcano of passions. He will not rush things and throw beautiful words. After all, a love confession imposes certain obligations. Let's clarify a simple truth: do not believe words, believe deeds. The verbal expression of feelings, of course, is pleasant, but only in combination with "speaking" actions.

Actions are better than words

It is believed that actions speak louder than words. But to jump off the roof of the garage, call “Pupusik” 100 times a day, send SMS “Y.T.L.” mean nothing. Perhaps you got an impulsive gentleman who wants to be in the spotlight. The true feeling is caring for your beloved, attention, help and understanding. Sometimes a victim, if you will. Changing a life for the sake of a loved one is an act. Do not interfere with her being happy, even if it hurts too. And a man capable of action is doomed to be loved, Coco Chanel once said.

world for you

Flowers, gifts, restaurants, sudden surprises... Of course, he loves it! Or? .. In fact, generosity and ingenuity are not necessarily signs of sincere feelings. Sometimes a man just feels good about himself. And he makes wide and beautiful gestures not for you, but for himself. But if he remembers “your” dates, knows your preferences, is attentive, most likely, he is serious!

Women are serious about getting to know their parents. And if a gentleman introduces you to mom and dad, you, as a rule, already secretly choose a wedding dress and think about how many children you will have. Carefully! In some families, parents are calm about their son's many hobbies and have nothing against him bringing them to his father's house.

Acquaintance with parents can not always talk about true feelings

Or, on the contrary, they demand from the child to settle down and grandchildren, and he has to constantly arrange "brides". Seriously, getting to know your parents is, perhaps, after you have been dating for quite some time or the boyfriend has made you a formal proposal. The same applies to communication with your relatives.

Real feelings

A man loves you if:

Interested in your life. He is always ready to listen to you. Even if you are talking nonsense, even if the TV shows the final of the World Cup. He listens because he knows that it is important for you to discuss something or cry into your vest. And not only listens, but also takes part in the conversation, rejoices, reassures, scolds your offenders;

Be attentive to your wishes. The phrase “So you want chocolate ice cream” thrown in passing prompts the beloved to come on a date with this very chocolate ice cream? He is not indifferent to you;

He does something for you, even if you didn’t ask him about it, he constantly shows concern. When you are sick, instead of dinner, he runs to you with oranges - you need vitamins! Often calls to make sure you're all right, not to find out where you are and with whom.

The main manifestation of love is caring

He warms your hands in his palms and says with a slight reproach that you should have dressed warmer today. He comes to pick you up at work to take you home because it's raining heavily outside. And it does not matter that for this he needs to travel from one end of the city to the other;

Does not limit your personal space, respects your interests. addicted parachuting? No "Are you crazy?" Just "Be careful, love." Do you often linger in the evenings at the courses of cutting and sewing? “When are you going to sew something for me?” And, of course, loving person will never force you to make a choice - "either me or ...". You can always agree with him if something does not suit him. Because he loves and doesn't want to lose you;

Admire you. Tired, nervous, unpainted, sleepy - for a loving man you are always beautiful, and he lets you know about it - in words or deeds.

Yes, we women love with our ears, but if you have to choose between someone who only talks about love, and someone who does everything for you, but does not voice feelings, think carefully. After all, you will not be full of words. And you will be called, most likely, by the one who prefers to do rather than talk.

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A man who really loves his lady is easy to distinguish from one who is only pretending. You can be sure of your man's love if he does certain things.

Psychologists have found out exactly what actions can indicate that your man really loves you with all his heart. The secrets of male psychology have long ceased to be secrets. It's time for you to find out if your chosen one truly loves you.

What matters most

Not gifts, not flowers, but actions of a different level are important. These are not even words, not confessions, but something else. Sometimes it seems to you that your man does not show love at all, because he does not give gifts, but this is not so. We are all different, but men have certain actions in their arsenal, which they do not always decide on.

It is important to remember that you should always be a priority for your husband or man. This is an unchanging fact that confirms the presence of feelings. If you are not put in the first place in life, if you are not considered, then this is not love.

Deeds of a loving man

Even if he disagrees with you, he can accept your opinion. Let him just pretend, but it's already nice, because he can't argue with you for too long. loving man knows how to listen and be flexible in terms of a woman. If your man never gives in to you, then this does not mean that he does not love you, but this does not mean otherwise either. Perhaps he has such a bad temper, so do not lose heart ahead of time.

He makes compromises without your pressure. It doesn't come right away, so don't be horrified if it doesn't either. He will recognize you over time, and then, without warning, he will push his interests aside from time to time for you. If he loves you, then you do not need to constantly ask him for something, force him to do something. Your man knows everything.