But the guests are not coming. Shortbread pie with curd cream (Daniil Kharms "Very, very tasty pie")
We will gladly read the poems that we know and love from childhood to the children, learn with the child a favorite passage or the whole poem.
J. Gernet, D. Kharms
Very very tasty pie.
I wanted to have a ball
And I invited guests to my place.
I bought flour, I bought cottage cheese,
Bake a crumbly pie.
Pie, knives and forks here -
But something guests do not go.
I waited until I had the strength
Then he broke off a piece.
Then he pulled up a chair and sat down.
And he ate the whole pie in a minute.
When the guests arrived
They didn't even find crumbs.
Sergei Mikhalkov
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
Who was sitting on the bench
Who looked at the street
Tolya sang,
Boris was silent
Nikolai shook his leg.
It was in the evening
There was nothing to do.
The jackdaw sat on the fence,
The cat climbed into the attic.
Then Borya told the guys
Just:
And I have a nail in my pocket!
We have a guest today!
And today we have a cat
I gave birth to kittens yesterday.
The kittens have grown a little
And they don’t want to eat from a saucer!
And we have gas in the apartment!
And we have plumbing!
And from our window
Red Square is visible!
And from your window
Just a little street.
We walked along Neglinnaya,
We went to the boulevard
They bought us blue-blue
Great red ball!
And our fire went out -
The truck brought firewood -
And fourthly - our mother
Takes flight
Because our mother
It's called a pilot!
Vova answered from the ladder:
Mom is a pilot?
What is it?
Here at Kolya, for example,
Mom is a policeman!
And Tolya and Vera
Both mothers are engineers!
And Leva's mom is a cook!
Pilot Mom?
What is it!
All the more important, - said Nata, -
Mom is a carriage driver,
'Cause up to the hooks
Mom drives two trailers.
And Nina asked quietly:
Is it bad to be a dressmaker?
Who sews pants for the guys?
Well, certainly not a pilot!
The pilot drives the planes -
It is very good!
The cook makes compotes -
It's also good.
The doctor treats us for measles,
There is a teacher at the school.
We need different mothers
Mothers are important.
It was in the evening
There was nothing to argue.
Sergei Mikhalkov
KITTENS
You guys listen
I want to tell you;
Our kittens were born -
There are exactly five of them.
We decided, we guessed:
How should we name kittens?
Finally we named them:
One two three four five.
Once - the kitten is the whitest,
Two - the kitten is the most daring,
Three - the kitten is the smartest,
And Four is the noisiest.
Five - similar to Three and Two -
Same tail and head
The same spot on the back
He also sleeps all day in a basket.
We have good kittens -
One two three four five!
Come visit us guys
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J. Gernet, D. Kharms
Very, very tasty cake.
I wanted to have a ball
And I invited guests to my place.
I bought flour, I bought cottage cheese,
Bake a crumbly pie.
Pie, knives and forks here -
But something guests do not go.
I waited until I had the strength
Then he broke off a piece.
Then he pulled up a chair and sat down.
And he ate the whole pie in a minute.
When the guests arrived
They didn't even find crumbs.
Sergei Mikhalkov
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
Who was sitting on the bench
Who looked at the street
Tolya sang,
Boris was silent
Nikolai shook his leg.
It was in the evening
There was nothing to do.
The jackdaw sat on the fence,
The cat climbed into the attic.
Then Borya told the guys
Just:
And I have a nail in my pocket!
And you?
We have a guest today!
And you?
And today we have a cat
I gave birth to kittens yesterday.
The kittens have grown a little
And they don’t want to eat from a saucer!
And we have gas in the apartment!
And you?
And we have plumbing!
Here!
And from our window
Red Square is visible!
And from your window
Just a little street.
We walked along Neglinnaya,
We went to the boulevard
They bought us blue-blue
Great red ball!
And our fire went out -
This time!
The truck brought firewood -
It's two!
And fourthly - our mother
Takes flight
Because our mother
It's called a pilot!
Vova answered from the ladder:
Mom is a pilot?
What is it?
Here at Kolya, for example,
Mom is a policeman!
And Tolya and Vera
Both mothers are engineers!
And Leva's mom is a cook!
Pilot Mom?
What is it!
All the more important, - said Nata, -
Mom is a carriage driver,
'Cause up to the hooks
Mom drives two trailers.
And Nina asked quietly:
Is it bad to be a dressmaker?
Who sews pants for the guys?
Well, certainly not a pilot!
The pilot drives the planes -
It is very good!
The cook makes compotes -
It's also good.
The doctor treats us for measles,
There is a teacher at the school.
We need different mothers
Mothers are important.
It was in the evening
There was nothing to argue.
Sergei Mikhalkov
KITTENS
You guys listen
I want to tell you;
Our kittens were born -
There are exactly five of them.
We decided, we guessed:
How should we name kittens?
Finally we named them:
One two three four five.
Once - the kitten is the whitest,
Two - the kitten is the most daring,
Three - the kitten is the smartest,
And Four is the noisiest.
Five - similar to Three and Two -
Same tail and head
The same spot on the back
He also sleeps all day in a basket.
We have good kittens -
One two three four five!
Come visit us guys
I wanted to have a ball
And I'm guests to myself ...
I bought flour, I bought cottage cheese,
The bake is crumbly…
Daniil Kharms "Very, very tasty pie"
On December 24, 1925, the Yuvachev family moved from Mirgorodskaya Street to Nadezhdinskaya Street, to apartment 9 of building 11. This happened a few days before the 20th birthday of the son of the family, Daniil Yuvachev, who even then preferred the pseudonym Kharms.
The new apartment immediately became popular among young poets. There they read poetry and drank draft port wine. Sometimes it happened two or three times a week. And with what grandiosity young talents drink, one can imagine. Kharms's father did not interfere in his son's life and only noted in his diary “Dani has a feast until the morning. A lot of people, noise, din, squealing of a female voice, radio ... I didn’t sleep much because of this.
Kharms had fun, but he understood the danger of spree. From time to time, he tried to “start a new life”, writing to himself in the “rules” something like “reduce the number of overnight stays and spend the night mostly at home”, but he did not succeed well.
"Portrait of Daniil Kharms". Tatyana Druchinina. 2005 year
At the same time, Kharms was a well-known freak and loved to play an eccentric: defiantly greeted every lamp on the street, walked with a painted face, “because a clean face is disgusting,” and gathered a crowd of onlookers around, waving a red flag on top of a tree.
It is clear that such a person could not live in an ordinary cozy room with floral wallpaper. There were legends about his house. People who first came to Kharms, first of all, tried to understand what they heard was true and what was not. They talked, for example, about the fantastic "machine" that Harms himself built and demonstrated to his guests. The poet's room, indeed, was filled with wires and springs for some time. Why - no one knows, rather for mystification.
The walls were covered with aphorisms from floor to ceiling, and a lamp with a wide cardboard shade hung from the ceiling. On it, Harms drew caricature portraits of friends and a house with the inscription "Children are killed here." Yes, the famous children's poet, as his wife said, “I could not stand children all my life. I just couldn't stand them. For him, they were - ugh, some kind of rubbish.
Kharms' second wife Marina Malich (Durnovo) at the harmonium. The photo was taken by one of the guests in the apartment on Nadezhdinskaya street
In 1938, Kharms' parties became round-the-clock. In his diary, he wrote: “Oh, to have a footman who would put uninvited guests in the neck!”. The poet could not work - while he was escorting one company to the threshold, another came. And, according to his wife Marina Durnovo, it was impossible to hide.
So what was it? They came and knocked on the door. And they shouted: “Damn you! Open the door! .. Yes, we still know that you are not sleeping! .. "And they started breaking down the door. But the door is still not our own, but the state of the damned. And they beat her so hard that they made a hole in the door, then they had to hammer this hole in ...Danya already wrote a note and attached it to the door - they say, no one is there. And yet everyone knew that we were at home.Nothing helped!
When they started knocking on the door, Danya whispered to me: “shhh! ..” and showed signs that I should be silent. Like, there is no one.Well, then something unimaginable began. It was straight up trouble. They beat with their feet and hands. What a horror it was! And those who came to visit did not care whether it was night or day. They wanted to get to us now, immediately.
Danya also threatened me not to open my mouth. But in the end, he couldn't take it anymore. And with the words: "To hell with them!" - opened the door.And the guests came in, and they had bottles under their armpits. They drank, they chatted. And I'm with everyone.
Vladimir Glotser "Marina Durnovo: My husband Daniil Kharms"
Harms did not care much what to treat the guests: a glass jar of butter, cheese, jam and hot tea. This is how the poet's friends recalled the table set for them. Even by the time the invited guests arrived, he did not fry cutlets or bake desserts.
I can not do that. I love guests. I especially like the guests who look like a glutton in a painting by Brueghel the Elder. And it’s not that I was worried about the fame of a good housewife, but rather I like chewing people more - they are always unusually kind. But the law of meanness does not sleep: guests do not happen when the refrigerator is full of cooked food, friends call in at the very moment when there is nothing to eat. And at that moment, I feel like I'm on a cooking show, like the one hosted by Gordon Ramsay. It is necessary to cook quickly, tasty and from what is at hand. Porridge from an ax.
This applies to appetizers and main courses. Desserts are easier. There are several proven solutions here: for example, crumbly Cheesecake about which Kharms wrote. In the poem, this cake was just intended for the guests, but it turned out to be so tasty that it was eaten before they arrived. There will certainly be products for him at home, and he is easy to prepare. Mix flour, butter, sugar - the dough is ready. Beat eggs, cottage cheese and sugar - that's the cream. If there are berries and nuts - even better, they will give splendor.
Delicious and simple. Theoretically, such uncomplicatedness would be within the power of even Kharms, who is far from earthly issues.
sand cake with curd cream
Compound:
Cottage cheese 9% - 400 gr.
Wheat flour - 2 cups
Butter - 100 gr. (and a little more for greasing the mold)
Egg - 2 pieces
Sugar - 1.5 cups
Vanilla sugar - 10 gr.
Baking powder - 1 teaspoon
Berries (fresh or frozen) - optional
Hazelnuts or almonds - optional
Cooking:
1. For the dough, mix the butter with flour, baking powder and 0.5 cup of sugar (you can add another 1 tbsp of lemon juice if you wish). Rub with your hands until a crumbly mixture is formed. Put the dough in the refrigerator.
2. For the curd cream, beat the eggs with the remaining sugar (plus vanilla sugar) until creamy, add the curd and beat again.
4. Lubricate the baking dish butter and lay out half the dough, lightly crush the crumbs with your hands. Put the curd filling on the dough, distribute the berries on top (optional, you can also without berries).
5. The rest of the dough can be mixed with chopped nuts. Sprinkle the filling with crumbs - preferably so that the curd cream is not visible.
6. Cover the form with foil and bake for 30-40 minutes at a temperature of 180 degrees. Remove foil and bake for another ten minutes.
Very very tasty pie
I wanted to have a ball
And I'm guests to myself ...
I bought flour, I bought cottage cheese,
The bake is crumbly…
Pie, knives and forks here -
But some guests...
I waited until I had the strength
Then a piece...
Then he pulled up a chair and sat down.
And the whole pie in a minute...
When the guests arrived
Even crumbs...
Daniil Kharms
If your enthusiasm has dried up, you are upset and want to unwind or dispel boredom, cook sbiten, which has been made in Russia since ancient times. As an alternative, I suggest baking a rich and crumbly apple pie - charlotte.
Everything has been calculated and tested countless times. According to the calculation, you will spend 20-30 minutes to make the dough.
First you need to fire up the oven. It is better to do this in advance so that the oven has time to heat up and the heat is distributed evenly.
Take a bowl, pour a glass of granulated sugar into it, break three eggs and stir so that the sugar melts and dissolves. It is even better to grind this mass with a spoon. Now, constantly stirring the dough, pour a glass of flour into the mass.
Next, cut three Antonov apples (apples, no doubt, must be extremely sour). Divide each apple into slices, cut off the skin from them and remove the core. Distribute them in the dough so that it spreads over the apples. By the way, you can pre-split and grind walnuts and add them to the dough.
Now you need to worry about the form (here I mean the container in which you expect to bake the cake). To prevent the dough from burning, grease the mold from the inside with margarine (it can be of the lowest grade), and sprinkle breadcrumbs or specially crushed ordinary crackers along the bottom.
Transfer the mass to the mold. Add about a teaspoon of crushed cinnamon to bring out the apple flavor. Without cinnamon, the cake can turn out tasteless, and this will devalue and make all your efforts pointless. For even distribution, cinnamon can be blown directly off a knife or spoon.
Now place the cake in the oven. Just do not rashly grab the red-hot door and do not cripple defenseless hands. Insert the mold with the dough into the oven and lower the heat slightly. Your yellow-brown coloring man will be ready in 30 minutes. He will announce this to you with his aroma.
It is not forbidden to serve whipped cream or condensed milk to the pie.
In conclusion, clean up everything spilled, spilled, splashed and scattered.
I think that, having tasted the charlotte, your family will glorify you according to your deserts. Eat for health! (301 words.)
(P.S.: The recipe is real, you can try it.)
More on the topic Bake a crumbly cake (Prefixes on Z / S and prefix S-):
- § 36. Prefixes and their role in the formation of perfect forms according to the teachings of A.A. Shakhmatov
- § 41. Perfect prefixes with real temporal and quantitative values