How to refuse money. Beggar at will: how those who have completely given up money live

Probably many people notice that society imposes other people’s values, which, if we understand them, are absolutely alien to us and do not need us. We will talk about the fact that when a person is happy, it has nothing to do with money. For example, I feel happy when I climb another mountain and see a beautiful landscape spread out below. I enjoy playing sports, I feel a surge of strength and energy, and when a stranger smiles just like that, it’s doubly pleasant. It is precisely these little things that our life consists of, and material wealth has nothing to do with it, and will never be some kind of goal, for example, “earn 1 million,” etc.

Today I’ll tell you about a woman who went even further. She is 69 years old and she hasn't used money for 15 years completely, and says that as soon as she gave up multi-colored pieces of paper, she became doubly happier.

Back in 1996 Heidemarie Schwermer was a successful and wealthy resident of Dortmund, was a teacher and psychotherapist by profession. She closed her bank account and distributed the money and property to those in need. Then she left home to go on an adventure with just one suitcase.

At first she had the idea of ​​surviving without money for one year, but the experiment turned her whole life upside down, and she decided to give up money for good.

Since then, she has been traveling around Europe, moving from one place to another, writing books, giving lectures, and also telling everyone about her unusual experience. If she needs some things, then she pays for everything by barter. If she needs housing, she pays by doing housework. If food is needed, she cleans supermarkets. Groomers are paid to walk their dogs or provide other services.

At the same time, the authorities transfer the woman 800 euros monthly as a pension, but she distributes it to people saying that others need this money more than she does.

When journalists see her, they describe her as a healthy, elegant and well-groomed woman who always smiles. At the same time, she is not worried about anything and is not afraid of anything.

To the question, what if old age catches up with her and she can no longer pay with the same barter, what will she do? Heidemarie Schwermer replied that she would try to stay in shape for the rest of her life, but if something suddenly happened, she would be able to find refuge with her two children, who sincerely support her views.

Many will ask, why experiment on yourself like this? The woman explains this in such a way that she has always been tormented by the question: why now in society money has begun to play the main role as a measure of all values? Heidemarie Schwermer believes that giving up money will help expand people's consciousness, free them from fears and change their value system.
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MOSCOW, November 24 – RIA Novosti, Anush Dolukhanyan. While some are in a hurry to go to sales, others do not go to stores on principle. In 2017, Black Friday coincided with World Shopping Day, which is celebrated annually on November 24th. In addition to shopaholics, there are people in the world who voluntarily go without money and prefer, for ideological reasons, to eat expired products and live in other people's houses. A RIA Novosti correspondent spoke with those who are now working for food and medicine.

Moneyless life

Muscovite Alexey is almost 30, and for five years he has hardly used money. Alexey is a political scientist by training and part-time photographer. “When I left my last job, I realized that money is an addiction, almost like drugs. If you have money, you are happy, but without money, everything is gone. I wanted to recover from this, and I succeeded,” he said .

The young man admits that at first it was very difficult to live without money. “I couldn’t imagine that without money you could rent an apartment, eat for free, have fun and go to museums. I thought I would turn into a homeless person, but in the end I always have clean clothes and a roof over my head,” says Alexey.

He is a member of the “Society of Conscious Consumption” - a group of like-minded people who, in principle, do not earn money, but also do not spend, and live by barter.

I live - I don’t grieve

Previously, Alexey rented an apartment, but after refusing money, this became impossible. However, a solution was found: “Now I live with a large family in their house, where I perform the duties of a gardener, dog sitter, plumber and sometimes cleaner. This is not humiliating: the owners treat me well, and I live with them, sleep on a soft bed and can use electricity and water,” he says.

Most often, Alexey is asked about how he provides himself with food. According to him, this problem was solved quite simply. “Food can be obtained in a variety of ways: food sharing, free lunches and dinners, restaurant openings. If you have a page on at least one social network, then you can rest assured: you won’t go hungry.”

The man is a member of food sharing groups, where food can be obtained for free in various ways. Through social networks, shops, restaurants, cafes and bakeries report the distribution of food “that for some reason is no longer suitable for sale.” “Sometimes you can find advertisements from ordinary users who, for example, accidentally bought the wrong cookies and are ready to give them away. There are expired products, but I usually take pasta, rice and buckwheat. It’s bad that they don’t give out meat and fish - willy-nilly you become vegan,” says Alexey.

Household items, according to Alexey, can also be exchanged or received for free. For example, Alexey did not buy a phone: “People needlessly underestimate the power of sweepstakes on social networks. This way I won an Iphone 7 and an Android, which I exchanged for an inexpensive laptop.” The man doesn’t pay for communication either; he doesn’t even have a SIM card. He communicates with his loved ones using instant messengers, and there are many free Wi-Fi access points in the city.

“The most difficult thing is transport. I have not yet found an effective way: wherever possible, I walk. If you need the metro, you still have to spend money on a travel card - I look for money on the street. Sometimes I also find unused tickets right at the entrance - this , of course, manna from heaven!" - says Alexey.

I work for clothes

Alexey doesn’t officially work anywhere, but he conducts photo shoots on a barter basis: one shoot - one shirt or jeans. Or any other clothing item you need right now. “This is an effective way to live: I do what I like, and in general I am happy. The secret is not that I am a beggar, but that society does not know how to appreciate what it has.”

Alexey even manages to go to the cinema and museums for free: “Everyone knows about free days in museums, but not about various promotions at the cinema. There aren’t many of them, but there are, for example, “Come in white and get a free ticket.” In general, , according to the man, now in groups on social networks you can find anything: there is “pharmacy sharing” (a place where unnecessary medicines are distributed for free), “construction sharing” and “renting housing for free.”

"The only negative of my lifestyle is a partner. If we talk about quick sexual relationships, then this can also be done through barter. But it’s hard for me to find a life partner. So far, I’ve only met such an “ascetic” once, but she was busy. I want to find I want a woman for myself, but there’s no talk of any full-fledged family, because I don’t want children.”

According to sociologists, such behavior has so far been little studied, but the very presence of such groups attracts the attention of specialists. “Whether this is widespread is difficult to determine. People who refuse money in Russia are more of a subculture. While in the USA and Europe this can be seen many times more often,” says sociologist Maria Krasilnikova.

Complete anarchism

Olga (name changed at the request of the heroine) lives in the Moscow region. Together with several girls, she rents a small country house. “We get about ten thousand rubles a month for ten people. Each of us somehow finds this money: we collect a penny on the street,” the girl shares.

Olga admits that before, like any woman, she wanted to buy beautiful clothes and treat herself to sweets from time to time, but at some point the money ran out. Then she simply decided that she would no longer look for opportunities to earn them: “I gave up everything worldly: men, paid events, travel, everything that causes class inequality. I believe that people spend their whole lives trying to make money, not be happy."

Olga assures that she “hates makeup, heels, piercings and tattoos”: “I don’t understand how a person can spend money on this? For example, when they offer a razor, I don’t even take it. It seems to me that body hair is normal "So why throw money and energy down the drain?"

Like Alexey, the girl uses food sharing and social networks, but more often practices so-called freeganism - searching for food in garbage dumps: “I learned to accept myself, to live for myself. Food tires and weighs me down, I don’t want to think about it. For me, something else is important - to feel nature and your freedom from all the burdens of society."

There's no shame in being a beggar

Olga states that in this way she opposes class inequality and economic discrimination: “There is no shame in being poor. And wealth is always the result of the exploitation of the poor. I am for economic equality, shorter working hours, unconditional basic income and the gift economy, as far as possible.” .

The girl calls herself childfree: she sees no point in having children. “I have a lot of energy, I’m always in a good mood. I believe that the source of psychological problems is not in my head, but in the surrounding conditions. I want to devote my life to something important, even though I didn’t graduate from university—I quit after my third year.” , she says.

Olga is sure that she lives a full life without money. She hopes that one day society will accept her lifestyle normally and will not treat her as a homeless person.

Sometimes it happens that the need for borrowed funds disappears or the client changes his mind about taking money. Is it possible to cancel the loan in such a situation?

If the agreement has already been concluded, but the money has not yet been transferred, the client has every right to refuse the loan. It is enough to contact the company’s managers or support service to cancel the application. In this case, you need to refer to Article 807 “Loan Agreement” of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, Part 2, which states: “ The loan agreement is considered concluded from the moment the money is transferred or other things." Which means that the signing of the papers does not yet begin the validity of the contract and the beginning of the accrual of interest. Only from the moment the funds are actually credited to the client will the contract come into force.

If the money has already been received on the card, then it is considered that transfer of funds actually took place. In this case, only early repayment of the debt is possible. Law “On Consumer Credit” in Art. 11 gives the borrower the opportunity return the full amount within 14 days without prior notice to the lender. In this case, you only need to pay interest for using the loan depending on the actual term.

Please keep in mind that different companies may have different terms and conditions for loan waivers. For example, in MoneyMan a loan application can be canceled, if it has the status “In Processing” or “Under Confirmation”. To cancel an application, just log into your personal account on the website and send a message to the support service about the refusal.

If the application has already been assigned the status “Awaiting repayment” or “Transfer”, then it is too late to cancel this procedure. In this case, the money has most likely already been sent to the client’s account, or is in the process of being transferred. You will need to repay the full loan ahead of schedule, paying interest only for the actual period of use of the money. The MFO will not demand interest from the client for the entire period for which the loan was originally requested.

In the Zaymer service, after the client accepts the terms of the contract, the application will be it is no longer possible to cancel. The company uses a robotic system for processing applications and transferring funds; money is credited to the borrower’s account instantly. Before signing the agreement (check “I agree with the agreement”), you can cancel the loan application - just write a message to the support service via the personal account on the website.

At Mili the situation is different. The approved loan amount is transferred to the Corn card. Before receiving this card and activating it from the client there is time to cancel application.

In banks Also loan waiver may not be an easy task. Despite the fact that the issuance of funds there does not occur so quickly, Article 807 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation (“Loan Agreement”), according to which the conclusion of an agreement is the moment of transfer of money, does not apply to loans.

You need to start from what is written in each specific loan agreement, because the procedure for granting and receiving a loan differs from bank to bank.

Possible three options developments upon cancellation of the loan agreement(loan refusal):

1. The loan application has been approved, but the borrower has not yet signed the agreement. The application itself and its approval are actions that the parties do not oblige to anything. In such a situation, communication and interaction with the bank can simply be stopped without fear of negative consequences. The loan decision at most banks is valid for up to 30 days. That is, after the application is approved, you have almost a month to decide whether credit funds are needed.

2. When the contract is signed and the money is credited to the client’s account. But the borrower decided to cancel the loan on the same day without spending a single ruble of the loan amount. In this case, the situation is not too complicated - you need to use the procedure for early repayment of the loan. But in addition to returning the full amount of the principal debt, you will need to pay off interest during the “use” of the loan. A few minutes / hours will be counted as 1 day, for which you will need to pay % to the bank.
As a rule, under mortgage loan agreements, the bank establishes a moratorium on early repayment of the loan during the first month or even more.

3. If the loan agreement has been signed, but the funds have not yet reached the client’s disposal, this is the most difficult situation, although outwardly the development of events seems simple. In this case, you should notify the bank about the cancellation of the loan agreement as soon as possible; further developments will depend on the terms of the signed agreement. As a rule, this point is always specified. It is possible that events will develop in such a way that you will have to resort to the procedure for early repayment of the loan.

When applying for credit funds from a microfinance organization or banking institution, always you need to read the loan agreement very carefully.

Saying “no” to someone’s request or suggestion is sometimes simply necessary. But sometimes we are afraid of offending a person and agree to things that we really don’t want, and we endure serious inconveniences. Or we still refuse – and the relationship becomes strained. Why is this happening? We just don't have the correct technique for refusing.

You can and should say “no”, psychologists say. Especially if the other person's request is quite burdensome for you. Let's say you're sick, and your friend is asking you for company because she has no one else to go with. Is it worth making your well-being worse in order for your friend not to feel lonely? Wouldn't it be better to say: “I feel very bad. Next time, when I’m better, I’ll be happy, but not now!”

If you refuse someone, do not hesitate to state the reason for refusal. My neighbor once complained about her sister, from whom she asked to borrow money for a new fur coat, knowing that the family had money. To which her sister replied: “Forget about this money!” The woman was terribly offended. And all because the sister did not explain the reason why she could not lend. If she, for example, had said that she had her own plans for the money she had, she might not have been so strong and would not have been remembered for so long.

Those who don't lend are often accused of being greedy. But if you find yourself in a situation where they ask you for a loan immediately after receiving your salary, then maybe you should frankly tell the person asking: “Yes, I have money now, but I need to buy a new refrigerator and a gift for my mother’s birthday. So I’m sorry, but I can’t lend you a loan, because in this case I’ll have to give up these purchases, or I won’t make it to the next payday.”

If such requests from someone’s side arise repeatedly and cause you problems, then it is better to talk to the person “for the future”, explaining: “You know, I don’t earn so much to... I need them myself. Wouldn’t you rather go to someone who has a surplus?”

It happens that you are asked not for something material, but for something that will cause you great concern. Let's say relatives from the periphery call and ask permission to come and stay with you, since they need to come to your city on business. You frown with displeasure, as this visit will greatly embarrass you. And you start lying about the upcoming renovation or your departure just at the time when your provincial relatives intended to visit you...

Of course, by your tone, uninvited guests will immediately understand that you are lying to them, and then they will be offended for a long time. Isn’t it better to frankly explain that their arrival will be a great inconvenience for you, because your apartment is cramped, and this will disrupt your usual routine and deprive you of proper rest and comfort? Say: “No, I feel out of place if there are always strangers in the house, even if they are blood relatives.” Alternatively, you can promise your relatives that you will find an inexpensive hotel or put them up in a dacha, where they will not disturb anyone.

If you refuse, then refuse firmly!

Sometimes our mistake is that we cannot answer directly: “No, I won’t do that!” We start mumbling something, saying: “I don’t know, if it works out...” For example, you are invited to join a company that you don’t like. You don’t want to go, but in order to soften the refusal, you declare: “You know, my mother should come to see me that day, but if she doesn’t come, then maybe I will come.” As a result, you never come to where you are called, and the person who invited you remains angry with you, since you reassured him in vain.

In such a situation, it is better to firmly answer: “No, I will not come, because my mother should come to me.” And to the unsure: “Well, maybe you’ll still find some time in the evening and come see us?” - “No, I can’t, I have other plans.”

I have friends who easily say in such cases: “I have no desire to go there” or: “No, I’m not interested.” And they no longer need to come up with some idiotic excuses: you can’t force a person to do something against his wishes!

If you feel that you have given up hope for the petitioner, cut it off by raising your tone: “No, I won’t come!”, “No, I won’t do that!” Most likely, after this the topic will be finally closed.

Accompany your refusal with appropriate gestures, psychologists advise. Sometimes, if you simply say “no”, the other person hopes that he will be able to persuade you. But if you make a gesture as if you are pushing something away from yourself with your hands, this will strengthen your refusal, and the person will understand that all persuasion is useless. Of course, this option should only be used during a personal meeting: over the phone, no one will see you waving your hands.

If the one you refused is still offended and accuses you of something, tell him that you are not obligated to do what you don’t like and cause displeasure. Don't be afraid to speak openly about your feelings, and then you will be understood much better.

— 08/25/2018 Yesterday my daughter and I arrived to visit my parents.
I brought my dad some medicine. And now he’s trying to give me money for them.
It's like this every time. It's like I can't afford to care a little about the person closest to me.

My father gave me so much that it would be enough for anyone else for several lifetimes. I sincerely believe that now it’s my turn to take care of him. I am almost forty years old and I want to help my family financially.

But they don't give me that chance.
For every medicine, for every item purchased at their request, mom and dad give me money. I don’t take cash, they transfer it to a card.

This time it turned out to be completely inconvenient. Because in addition to money for the pills, dad also forces me to take ten thousand extra. Like this is from them to their granddaughter for school.

Damn, are we poor?
I had already bought everything for my daughter by September 1st. Moreover, she spent two hundred thousand on preparatory courses for the Unified State Exam. Do poor people sign up for such courses?

On the one hand, I enjoy parental care. I am glad that they are financially independent and can afford much more than the majority of pensioners.
But on the other hand, it’s somehow insulting. It's like they still don't believe that I'm doing well. They are still eager to save me and help me “survive.”

Saved

Yesterday my daughter and I arrived to visit my parents. I brought my dad some medicine. And now he’s trying to give me money for them. It's like this every time. It's like I can't afford to care a little about the person closest to me. My father gave me so much that he would give anyone else a few...